The Spit-Screamer

A Quaint Yet Obsolete Profession of the Past

In the bustling streets before electricity flourished across Clockworks City, before the advent of alarm clocks, a peculiar and now obsolete profession flourished:
The Spit-Screamer.
Also known as spit-ups, these individuals played a crucial role in waking gnomes from their slumber at the break of dawn. Armed with ingenious techniques, such as shooting peas at windows or tapping on glass with long poles, these gnome alarm clocks were an essential part of daily life in the bygone era.
The rise of the Spit-Screamer profession was a direct response to the increasing need for punctuality during the industrial revolution. With the advent of factory work and the dawn of bustling districts, time became a precious commodity.
Gnomes relied on the Spit-Screamers to ensure they woke up early enough to start their day with vigor and diligence.
The techniques employed by these quirky individuals were as varied as the personalities that adorned the profession. Some Spit-Screamers used peashooters, aiming at their clients' bedroom windows with remarkable accuracy. The gentle yet firm thud of peas hitting the glass was enough to rouse even the soundest sleeper from their slumber.
Others preferred the art of tapping, using long poles to reach upper-story windows. With dexterous skill, they would create rhythmic beats on the panes, lulling the slumbering residents into wakefulness. These unique wake-up calls were personalized to suit individual preferences, whether soft and gentle or loud and jarring.
…and it depended on how much coin you could offer.
However, as time marched forward, the Spit-Screamer profession found itself at the mercy of technological advancements. The arrival of affordable alarm clocks in the early Age of Oil sounded the death knell for this quaint occupation. gnomes could now rely on mechanical timekeepers to ensure their prompt awakening, rendering the Spit-Screamers obsolete.
With the passing of the tradition, a quirky yet vital aspect of history has faded into oblivion. The profession was a reflection of an era defined by gnome ingenuity, where the absence of electronic devices led to the creation of inventive solutions to everyday challenges.
Today, the Spit-Screamer remains a nostalgic memory of a simpler time, fondly recalled by those who experienced its charm…and love to spit. The image of a diligent Spit-Screamer tapping on windows with their long pole may seem whimsical, but it serves as a poignant reminder of the resourcefulness and adaptability of our vertically-challenged ancestors.
In this fast-paced digital age, we may no longer require the services of a gnome alarm clock, but the legacy of the Spit-Screamer endures as a testament to the gnome spirit's ability to innovate and adapt in the face of changing times.
So let us pause and cherish the memory of the Spit-Screamer—a profession that may have become obsolete but remains etched in the annals of history.