Beuford Greesewheel

There is no greater leader than Beuford.

Dedicated employee of the Crinkleburg Corporation for the past 32 years, no one remembers the company without him. His dream was always to work his way to lower middle management, but never quite got there.
But that was okay. Beuford showed us how working and dedicating ourselves to the good of the company was more important than winning a promotion, like everyone else. Having integrity was more important than sleeping with old Mrs. Layton, 92, just to get a company parking spot.
…and he assured us that dancing naked at the company Christmas party would not make you more popular. In fact, he made it quite clear that it might ruin your dating prospects indefinitely, especially if you hooped our loud while making hip gyrations in a pink speedo.
But that’s what makes Beuford great; his vast experience has guided many lowly interns to avoid emotional embarrassments, not to mention expensive potential lawsuits.

Taking Charge

In times of chaos, Beuford stepped into harm's way, leading fellow employees from chaos into the light. His selfless acts and sacrifice have been recorded in history,...and on local security cameras for the authorities to verify.

The Great Stapler Heist

When a wave of 2600 staplers went missing throughout the Crinkleburg building, it was Beuford who solved the crime. He tracked the thieves, who went undetected by building security, down to the supply loading dock, where his own car had been broken into and loaded up with the said staplers. Fighting off the violent gang, single handedly and out of view from the local cameras, he heroically dragged his body to his car.
Luckily he sustained only a few painful bruises, and he quickly made sure the staplers were all accounted for once security showed up.

Standing the Moral Line

Another true example of Beufords leadership, was when rumors of the mail staff bringing X-ray glasses to the Annual Office Beach Party circulated. Just the thought of thirty young men walking about, looking at their female co-workers in bikinis with such devices was unacceptable.
At the same time, Beuford knew from his childhood days that such claims made by the back of cereal boxes were not always accurate. Giving the young men the benefit of the doubt, Beuford graciously tested each pair of X-ray glasses before allowing the spectacles into the party.
Come to think of it...
Oh, boy.
Uhhhhhh....
Nevermind. Forget I said anything at all.