Kester’s Blade | E. Christopher Clark

Kester’s Blade

Kester’s Blade, also known as the Vorpal Sword, was the favorite weapon of General Kester Thidos. Famous for the sound it makes during battle, an unsettling snicker-snack, Kester’s Blade is the deadliest sword in Eden. Since the coronation of Frieda Jacobs as Queen of Hearts in 263, the sword has been the property of the United Kingdom of Wonderland, where it has been used by many an executioner for many a beheading.



Kester’s Blade is an exceptionally long weapon and as heavy as one might expect such a sword to be, but it is exceptionally well-balanced—as comfortable to wield as it is frightening to look at.


The sword was built by Thidos herself, during the two years between her two tours of duty, and meant to be a near-perfect piece of steel. Having read every book on warfare in the Edenian Athenæum, having trained on every item in the Bekiskapan arsenal, and with nine years of combat experience under her belt already, there was no better person to build it.


While many believe that its facility at dealing lethal blows is the work of some sorceror or another, no enchantment has ever been cast upon Kester’s Blade.



Kester’s Blade is so lethal that it has a 1 in 10 chance of killing anyone the wielder attacks with deadly force, and a 1 in 20 chance of lopping the victim’s head clean off their shoulders (or one of their heads, if they’ve got a couple or more).


No one is quite sure why it makes the snicker-snack sound when it strikes true. Any time someone asked, Kester just smiled and stayed silent.



The sword is exhausting to wield for long stretches of time. As such, it is usually just one of several weapons its wielder carries into battle.



The sword is so singular and so feared that most Edenians will simply run away if they see someone coming at them with it. And, well, the sword can’t kill anyone that it can’t reach.

Kester's Blade.jpg
Kester Thidos
Item type
Weapon, Melee


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Feb 8, 2024 03:23

Since Frieda wields it now, I assume the sword got to Aesling. Was he able to deliver it in person?

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Feb 8, 2024 11:41 by E. Christopher Clark

It's a mystery!   Seriously though, I'm still working out how it happened, but yes, it did get to Aesling eventually.

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Feb 9, 2024 14:46 by Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull

Imagine a sword snicker-snacking at you. I would run too.

Emy x   Etrea | Vazdimet
Feb 9, 2024 15:55 by E. Christopher Clark

Hahahaha, yes. I mean, I'd probably run from any sword, but I'd even harder from this one!

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Feb 13, 2024 17:48 by Chris L

This seems like a great way to get a-head off the competition!

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Feb 13, 2024 22:39 by E. Christopher Clark

I was thinking that maybe I should head these puns off at the pass, but nah. Let's head on down to the head shop and have ourselves a heady time.

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