Chelmsdale is one of The Free Cities of Nunya in the Clarkwoods Literary Universe. It is one of the most bustling market settlements in all of Eden, and has often been the subject of border disputes between Nunya and its southwestern neighbor The Ninth Empire of Oz.
The original town’s historic ginger ale plant, its library—which was the basis for the town hall in the television program The Simpsons—and its 1859 Revolutionary Monument (nicknamed “the town erection” by the young folk, in honor of its phallic appearance) are all fixtures of Chelmsdale society. And all attract visitors who long for a piece of the world from before The Calamity.
But the pièce de résistance is the 1987 Ford Tempo which fell from the sky during the early days of The First Age, and which is currently impaled upon the top of the aforementioned town penis.
Despite offers from all over creation to help them take down this supposed eyesore, the founders of Chelmsdale—Gen X slackers and Millennial ne’er-do-wells alike—found it too funny. Raised on the old town motto of “Let the children guard what the sires have won,” they couldn’t help but laugh every time they passed by this monument to the way things were and the way things would forever be.
A sad laugh—they were the generation that brought about the end of the world, after all—but a laugh nonetheless.
Industry & Trade
The town’s popular golden ginger ale is a sought-after commodity in the post-apocalyptic world of Eden, one of the most popular soft drinks in the land. Beyond that, the town’s busy market square does a steady trade in Ozite emeralds, Garden-fresh fruits and vegetables, and even Wonderlandian foodstuffs—a rare find outside of Wonderland itself, given The Council of Five’s strict regulation on the exporting of those magical edibles.
A black market offering advanced Reekish weaponry has long been rumored to exist, but has heretofore remained undiscovered by the public at large.
The town sits on the banks of the River Chelmer, on a wedge of Nunyan land which juts southward out of the rest of that subcontinent and therefore borders both Oz (to the west) and The Garden to the east.
It is this prime location that is responsible for both Chelmsdale’s prosperity and for the controversy over which nation should have jurisdiction over it. As scholars of Eden will know, fighting over Chelmsdale led directly to both the formation of The Council of Five and to the short-lived Emerald Rebellion