Bean Rash

Skin lookin' like ya spilt beans al' over yerself? Itchin' everywher'? Yessir, I know was wrong wit' ya.
Ya got a bean rash.

— A tired physician

Bean rash is a condition that affects those who consume too many canned beans within a short period of time. The composition of the cans has been changed numerous times, but the rash always returns.

Full of It

Bean rashes typically affect those who spend a lot of time isolated, such as hunters, hermits, and particular saawkamut. Canned beans are particularly cheap and plentiful in most places, so, they often have stores to themselves— which for one reason or another (typically running out of whatever else they had stocked up) they end up consuming at just about every meal.
It takes around 15 average servings of beans within a 3 week period for one to develop a rash.

I ain't outta food son, I jus' like them beans.

— Bean fanatic

Symptoms

One can catch a bean rash before it develops in full by spotting small round discolorations on their stomachs, this should be their sign to stop eating beans. Those who either choose to continue, have no choice, or simply don't notice will begin to feel their skin itch after another three days. At this point, many bean-shaped bumps will have risen across their entire bodies. These are always tinted slightly brown, regardless of the victim's skin color. These bumps are not only incredibly itchy, but are also hot and sore to the touch— as if one were covered in boiling beans.
This lasts for about a week, with the bumps and discoloration slowly fading— provided one rests and stops consuming canned beans. In the case that one continues to eat, the rash may subside after a week but it will quickly return. Rest, plenty of water, and cold baths help to speed up one's recovery.

Cultural views

Almost unanimously across Umqwam, anyone who gets a bean rash will be mercilessly laughed at.

How'd ya even manage that? Ya got bread at home!

— A victim's family member

Even if the victim had returned from a near-death experience— such as a battle, duel, failed hunt, reading their map wrong and getting lost in the wilderness— friends and family will find it difficult to go without even the smallest of giggles.

I know ya jus' came back t' us aft a month in tha woods, and I'm so glad yer alive— but ya gotta look 't yerself in the mirror!

— "Worried" partner

Type

Physiological

Origin

Natural

Cycle

Short-term

Rarity

Uncommon

Confined

Bean rashes can only be contracted from eating canned beans.
Home-cooked beans, fresh beans, or dry-stored beans are perfectly safe to eat en masse— but the convenience of pre-cooked food is too good for some to pass up.
And so, it continues to be packed and sold.
Some believe the rash to come from the canning process, rather than the beans themselves, but this is disputed by cannery owners.

I ain't never got no rash from my beans.
I tell ya, I've changed the cans many times over now, it's jus' the beans.
No, I dun' eat em much, have you seen what that does t' you?

— Cannery owner

Chronic victims

Some folk, often self-titled "bean-connoisseurs" may spend their entire lives with bean rashes.
To them, this is seen as an act of self-sacrifice for the supposed art of cooking beans.
If only they weren't solely talking about pre-cooked varieties.