Kerplink the Mighty
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Comments
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Dec 25, 2018 16:29
by Xanthuss
An interesting article. The audo was a nice touch and the whole story is quite fun to read. I enjoyed the first person pov of the article, though I wasn't 100% sure if it is from the POV of Silas in the opening quote or not. The naming scheme of the Goblins is great, and I enjoyed the light hearted atmosphere. The idea that the tale was exaggerated is also a nice touch. I'd like to have seen more on the ogres. What happened to them? Did they go extinct? I'd also like to know more about Kerplink. I feel like there might be more exaggerated tall tales to come from such a figure. Especially about the battle. It feels slightly too matter of fact right now in that area. I feel like such a story would have stories handed down of great feats of strength and genius, and put Kerplink in a position of even higher regard. What happened to Kerplink post war? Did he lead the goblins? Do anything else?
Dec 28, 2018 17:54
by Seth Dietrich
I've changed the opening credits to clarify the POV, thank you for pointing that out. I will add more on the ogres, most likely something to the affect of "the survivors were driven from the caves and were never allowed to live in caves again" I think the great deeds of Kerplink the Mighty could definitely be expanded and further exaggerated, I'll try to give him a fitting end. Thank you for your feedback!
Dec 26, 2018 00:25
by R3negade X
A very interestingly delivered article, written as someone telling it casually to a friend, that's a definitely unique style. I'd not sure about using a spoiler tag to deliver an aside, as it rather disrupts the flow of the article. Maybe using a tooltip would work better? On a narrative note, does this legend have any effect on the race relations between the three races involved?
Dec 28, 2018 17:27
by Seth Dietrich
I had thought about using a tooltip, but I wanted readers to be able to navigate to the article linked within. After looking the article over, "Kerplunk Kerplonk" is linked plenty of times, so I've remedied this, thank you! I will add this into the article because you've brought up an interesting point; the races react differently to the legend. Hobgoblins believe it is entirely fictional, because they believe controlling goblins is "beneath them". Kobolds tell their own tale of "Plink the Mighty", who is a Kobold that took charge. Goblins who have heard the tale wholeheartedly believe in it, and are slow to trust ogres. Thank you for your comment!
Jan 14, 2019 18:53
by Christopher Dravus
This article is a ton of fun! Really enjoyable read! I dig the light tone and all the presentation extras
I like the idea explored in the spoiler that the tale about the Kerplink is exaggerated (just like it would happen to most of the tales). The addition of the ballad by Kerplunk is also a great idea. It would be nice to know some detail about how Kerplink accomplished bringing the three races together and keep them together, maybe even write about little conflicts they had, that Kerplink managed to resolve. It would be also a nice addition to include the course of the battle between the ogres and The Army of Undermountain. Did they win just by overwhelming the enemy with their numbers or did they use some strategies and traps to defeat the ogres?
When I come back to do some revisions I'll expand a bit on the actual battle between the two factions, pitting the Army of Undermountain as a heavily disadvantaged underdog of course :) Thank you for your feedback!