Do you find yourself unfairly burdened with an item that’s a little bit more than meets the eye? Did you purchase a shiny trinket from a kindly grandma at the market, only to wake up and find your family turned to gingerbread? Are you tired of drinking from a never-ending tankard, and didn’t realize you’d never be allowed to stop? (Always read the fine print, and never buy a souvenir from that stall on the corner!) Does that old fertility blanket work a little too well, and you just can’t keep up with whelping a new babe every week? Grew your snake plant in grave dirt and now find your children overcome with Tourette's? Fear not, learned gentlemen and fearless ladies! Our cursed item disposal service is exactly what you need! Come on down, and allow me the great pleasure of removing the curse from your person and the item from your possession. No additional fees, and I’ll even throw in a free bowl of Portland’s finest ice cream. Welllll what are you waiting for?? Come to Frost and rid yourself of your meddlesome maladies TODAY!*Patrons of this service will be required to relinquish their cursed item(s) to Frost. This is non-negotiable. **Frost highly discourages any attempts to rid yourself of magical curses or cursed items via “wishing well" disposal. Any reports of wells granting wishes to the tosser of items are unquestionably false and should be disregarded as such. I repeat - you should NOT trust a well and you should in fact stay well away from them. ***Frost can only remove curses associated with cursed items which the bearer still possesses. Regretfully, Frost’s Curse Removal technology (patent pending) cannot assist with any curses bestowed for reasons including but not limited to:
****Frost Ice Cream is made entirely in-house and is most assuredly not cursed. It is, however, sinfully delicious, and you’ll definitely find yourself coming back for more!