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N O T I C E : : m e m o r y _ s t r e a m _ l o c a t e d
I D : : W e i r d _ P l u r a l _ S h i t
T Y P E: : R E C O L L E C T I V E
Being plural is... weird. I think a lot of people don't necessarily understand it very well? I mean, I guess that might actually be the default state of experiencing it; it's not like we understand plurality very well on a neurological level, and Inos knows it's a strange-ass thing to experience on a personal level.
On my end, there've been a lot of slightly bizarre experiences I've had over the years that I can't really make sense of. Going in vague chronological order, the first one would probably be the imaginary- well I was gonna say 'friend', but 'enemy' would probably make a lot more sense in this case. When I was a kid, I think around ten or eleven or so- I know it was before I was a teen- I had this figure in my head that would occasionally show up and basically say mean stuff to me. They kept insulting me, telling me that I was bad or did bad things, and trying to tempt me into doing stuff that I knew I shouldn't do. I don't remember the details very well; the only memories I have are some vague snippets of what they looked like. Their form was a woman made entirely out of shadow with no features at all, and that's all I remember. The weirdest part was that, at some point, something happened and they just sort of got... vanquished, somehow? I think I did something that got rid of them, but I can't remember what the details were.
I'd be able to give a better recounting if I still had the notes I wrote at the time, but I used to think this sort of thing was shameful, and so at some point, I ended up deleting all of them. That habit is a large part of why I don't remember much about my childhood; there was so much stuff I wrote down that would have been so useful to still have, but I either threw it all away or deleted it when I got into my early teens. It's a shame, but what can you do.
Anyway, even after that phantom disappeared, there were still some strange things that happened inside my wonderland in the following years. When I started practising tulpamancy when I was fourteen, sometimes, as part of my work on building up
████████, some parts of the wonderland would start getting... possessed, almost? Like they were taken over by intrusive thoughts. Certain places in particular - the forest by far the most often - would end up stuck with this really discomforting and frightening aura, and I'd be terrified to go anywhere near them. Sometimes, monsters started appearing and trying to scare the two of us.
Things went on like that for a few years until
████████ got stronger, and then she learned how to use her sword to cut down the monsters. After that, they stopped bothering us nearly so much; and then eventually she figured out a way to purge the forest using a piece of symbolism, and they stopped entirely. I haven't seen anything creepy in or around the wonderland since.
I can still remember how it used to feel in my head when the wonderland got like that, though. There was this vivid, incredibly strong presence in one corner of my head that just... terrified me, the closer I felt to it. Whenever I turned my attention towards it, it felt like it was looking at me. The more I focused on it, the scarier it got, until I'd eventually get too frightened and have to turn away. The reason that it went away in the end was that I found a way to look it in the eye, and realised that nothing was there. Which is also really weird, since, I don't have any clue what was causing it in the first place, and it being just nothing is... odd? I really don't know. None of this stuff made any sense to me at the time, and it doesn't make any more now.
I do still sometimes feel like whatever was there still is, though. It's been years since I looked at it, but the feeling is just as vivid as ever. I can't help but wonder if I didn't succeed in completely getting rid of it way back when; more just made it go away for a while, and whatever the source of it was is still kicking around somewhere in my head.
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N O T I C E : : m e m o r y _ s t r e a m _ t e r m i n a t e d
