We are Kykr, not Fay

This article won the Words of Worldbuilding Challenge of February 2020! Thank you to ALL of you for your feedback and likes! <3

Music credit goes to Christopher Larkin

In English

The court of High Fay king Tháaltanassar lay at the foot of Ayla's Peak, the mountain at the heart of the Winterweald. The glade was covered by a thin sheet of snow and the air was crisp. Small puffs formed with every breath from the assembled Fay. The king sat on his throne when Æþir, the Vindral representative, approached him from beyond the glade.

The King looked up and spoke. "You know why you have been summoned, Æþir. Speak!" he said and gestured to the snow-covered space in front of his throne.

"I have been summoned by you because you wish to stifle my people. Because you wish us not to expand. You have lent your ear to the Silfr and the trolls, but you have not heard us!"

The king's eyes flared.

"Careful, Æþir!" he cautioned. "Your people have bent metal to your will and are using it to bring blood and death to your fellow kin. I had hopes you might come to see the folly of your ways, but I see now that you are set on the path of destruction."

"My people are dying in the deep woods. Our men are devoured by the Silfr, the trolls steal our children, and you claim we have brought blood and death? Our mastery of metal is a desperate attempt to defend ourselves and our realm from the crimes of the others! Something you, dear king, advocate. Evolve and adapt, you say." Æþir, usually calm in demeanor, found himself raising his voice at the king.

A faint murmur of shocked and offended voices was heard from the gathered crowd as Tháaltanassar rose from his throne and walked to the end of the dais.

"Adapt and evolve through nature, not metal!" He snapped. "What your people have done is an abomination against nature as we know it and we will not stand for it."

"Then what, oh mighty king, would you have us do?" Æþir's words slithered through his gritted teeth, laced with sarcasm.

"ENOUGH!" the king bellowed. "Your people are henceforth banished from the realm of Ayla! Any Vindral caught in the Weald within ten passings of the sun will be put to death." He gestured to the end of the glade. "Go! And may you find life elsewhere. Your time here is forfeit."

Æþir clenched his teeth, his hand fingering the grip of his bronze blade. He came to his senses and bowed before the king. "As you wish, my lord."

And with these words, Æþir left the Court of the Inuelweri for the last time, to tell his people that they had been banished, that they were no longer Fay, but something else. Something outside, and against, the Fay. Æþir could barely stand to speak the language of the Inu and set a plan in motion in his mind to unify his people against all Fay. He knew that there were others in the world. Others who were not of the Fay, others that might help.

Æþir forsook the language of the Fay and began inventing new words to separate him and his people from the Fay. He declared that the Vindral were now "Kykr", which he described to them as a deep union against the evil Fay, meaning "One of us. Unity. Progress." As the Vindral fled across the Crimson Straits, they had already begun thinking of themselves as "Kykr", rather than Vindral or Fay.

In Atlága Vekja

Felþira þøkkragi birkagi hirums Þaltanassar lægir þum rotúmer kellagi Aylis, kella ann skín rojarégi. Klífe slamtre tynn milkinégi oll nifra eysr meæ. Þykar hvindur skeín hylli øndemang fýr þøkkar farði. Birke birkutrún honnums án sittr, Æþir, estra hvindralégi, han askúnr fýr burtun klife.

Birke skáþi ofr oll akbasr. "Þú vetur vassa þik stefre, Æþir. Akbasi!" honn taljar oll vægomr bos domr milkurin morkum birkutrún honnums.

"Ék stefre higun of þan honn folkún mínæ skorðum gjallarðum. Þan honn skorðum ússe eivingðum. Hfir bos silfún oll barkún øra honnums lentre, alak honn ússe eihlýðr."

Øgnún birkagi eldre.

"Arfi, Æþir!", honn talre. "Folke hvegums skiþ smédjaði oll inní brukr bos kinr þums døðr oll bloð íngr. Ék glistri þú ans skælfe væge þums, alak ék þú skælfe ór forstur."

"Folke miþ ann rojar mørkr døer. Drængar hfégums láf silfún raegar, kintún hfégums láf barkún eihafr, oll hfir trúr hfé døðr oll bloð íngr? Skiþ æktara hfégums ór ein ursok ússe oll sygra hfégums engír sklemte karðum! Hfir, birké miþ, nágut forslar. Utfekr oll anfasr, hfir talr." Æþir, uft hyri, næm þum birke gjelledre.

Fiskr sfok fýr þøkkrar mílnin hlýði, mins Þaltanassar fýr birkutrun honnums stiðre oll bos þrarne gangre.

"Utfekr oll anfasr skeín fea, eiskiþ!" birke skátre. "Dannr folke þums góre ór eifea oll hfé askerðum vittr!"

"Anders, birke hirums, hfir há ússe górðum?" órdar Æþirs smykre jinum tannúr honnums, sankr of spittr.

"SANKT!" birke gjelledre. "Desimer eksil fýr sygra Aylis folke thums ór! Et eín hvindral inr hfís dagar finr ann rojara hférðum død." Honn bos ature klifégi vægomre. "Førsvi! Ék dannr þú fæg andras finr hoffr. Tiðr hfigums ór aryfí."

Æþir tannúr honnums presre, hønde sin hjalte órebu skállagi ruredre. Honn eiskælle fardi. "Ønskra hfégums hændeðum, birke miþ."

Skeín órdar dere, Æþir felþira Inuelhfi eikomri enders, folke honnums ðém eskil ór halrðum. Ðém 'hfé eiþøkkr desimer eihférðum' halðrum. Naǵut þøkkra sklemti oll engír. Æþir vekje þøkkragi neste akbasr konni oll honn ann hirte honnums kúninger fortybredre bos folke honnums engír þøkkrún hylli einhittrðum. Honn sklemtar ann fea ór vetudre. Sklemtar dannr þøkkra eiklir, sklemtún dannr hjelprðum kunne.

Æþir øfergangi vekja þøkkragi oll nyi órdar rónre opkinre bos han oll folkún honnums fýr þøkkra dellr. Honn hvindral nu Kykr hfér førkúnre, filke honn bos ðégums førbundr engír þøkkra ulmo, "ein ússe tillhøer" bitydrer. "Einhetr." "Fremgingr."

Mins hvindralina aryfí Ymosar Rauko flygi, ðé likt Kykr kennedre, eiþøkkr af eihvindral.

Legacy

From this day forward, the Vindral considered themselves separate from the Fay. They would no longer live in glades or seek shelter in the woods. Their entire identity became one of active separation from the old ways. They refined their metalworking skills, and once they came into contact with the illim of the Blood Coast, they learned of iron. The birth of the Kykr civilisation was at hand, and the modified language Æþir came up with became the lingua franca of the Kykr. He named it Ósleiðr, "Word of the Gods".



Cover image: Lót ósi freið gangfar liðr þus. (Let the goddess give you peace on your journey) in ósleiðr script. by Tobias Linder

Comments

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10 Jan, 2020 23:40

I recalled something from some books I had read as a child, where one page would have the text in English, and the next page would have the same text in Spanish. Maybe having a two-column layout might make the layout "easier" to read? It's a great deal of fun to read as it is, but the "In Atlága Vekja" section seems a little tacked-on by being at the bottom (to my eyes).   I'm curious to know how many bits of story you have lurking around about those trolls stealing the children, and for what purpose, as well as (perhaps) the other side? King Tháaltanassar and his court's side, maybe? Did anyone leave with Æþir from the High Fay king's court?   I'm not terribly great with reviews, but I enjoy tossing questions and ideas around as much as I enjoy reading people's ideas.

Lyraine, Consumer of Lore, She/Her, primary project: Corive
10 Jan, 2020 23:47

This story is before recorded history, so likely mostly hearsay and legend. But sure, there are probably a lot of "stories" about what exactly went down that day... Perhaps one day we'll know. ;)

Author of prize-winning RPG settings Dark Shadows and Cinders of the Cataclysm. Designer of the narratively focused Celenia D10 RPG System.
10 Jan, 2020 23:48

Great suggestion on the double columns, btw. I'm gonna try that.

Author of prize-winning RPG settings Dark Shadows and Cinders of the Cataclysm. Designer of the narratively focused Celenia D10 RPG System.
10 Jan, 2020 23:51

Looking at it now with the double columns, it looks neater and like someone was translating it. =D

Lyraine, Consumer of Lore, She/Her, primary project: Corive
28 Jan, 2020 13:51

And it's still nicely legible on mobile as only one column.   Nice job. (And beautiful story). Can't wait for your video project!

Author of Fillimet, bright fantasy land of possibilities
29 Jan, 2020 19:32

Just listened to the video - wow. I'm stunned in amazement. Beautiful presentation of a stirring story!

Author of the upcoming book Rise: Liminal Chronicles |
30 Jan, 2020 14:38

Wow! You clearly put a lot of effort into this. The video is great. I particularly like the music selection.

30 Jan, 2020 15:04

Some say I put *far* too much effort into it. Thank you!

Author of prize-winning RPG settings Dark Shadows and Cinders of the Cataclysm. Designer of the narratively focused Celenia D10 RPG System.
[email protected]
Christopher Moore
1 Feb, 2020 17:19

Well the effort was certainly worth it! The whole video sounded and felt absolutely magical! The music in the background was so beautifully ethereal! I hope to one day have such a beautiful language for my world as yours! (I may be using exclamation marks a lot but I would call this a worthy occasion)

2 Feb, 2020 01:28

This is an incredible article, making it plain to see why it garnered so much attention in such a short span of time. The work and effort that you put into the article are incredible to see make it really enjoyable to read. I'm going to hold back on general grammar feedback, unless you want a deeper dig, as that would probably make your job a million times harder. As far as the content, the article is very engaging to read even with such short prose.  

And with these words, Æþir left the Court of the Inuelweri for the last time, to tell his people that they had been banished, that they were no longer Fay, but something else.
  You don't really need a comma after but as it creates too much of a strange separation of the writing and makes it required a few too many re-reads.  
As the Vindral fled across the Crimson Straits, they had already begun thinking of themselves as "Kykr", rather than Vindral or Fay.
  Logically, I wouldn't change it. But it would still make a little more sense to rearrange the sentence to be something a bit more like this: Even as the fallen Vindral fled across the Crimson Straits, they had uptook their new name of "Kykr", anger against the Vindral Fey coating their memories." Slightly over-edited, but a little more complex if you would be capable of translating it would be a nice way to end off your article.   As a complete concept, your story is great. It is a little disappointing that a lot of the sentences are more simple than complex, but it is also logical due to the amount of work translating this clearly took. Amazing concept and source of your own language.

Give me a visit at my current project(s): Aesontis
2 Feb, 2020 16:48

Good feedback, and you are absolutely correct in your observation that the story is deliberately held back from being too long or too complex, as the translation work was 90% of this. The last two paragraphs, after Æþir leaves the court, took almost a week on their own. The dialogue and short sentences were slow, but relatively straightforward to translate. The last two paragraphs deals with a lot more complex grammar, longer sentences and more abstract concepts and those are super hard to translate into a conlang that is, at best, perhaps 40% completed.   I super appreciate the read and the time you've taken to provide feedback. Thank you! :)

Author of prize-winning RPG settings Dark Shadows and Cinders of the Cataclysm. Designer of the narratively focused Celenia D10 RPG System.
2 Feb, 2020 18:15

Very nice. Your article was fun to read and watch it develop since you initially shared it. Great work

Give me a visit at my current project(s): Aesontis
3 Feb, 2020 06:41

Well, shit. I concede the field. That video was absolutely killer. Love the sound of the language too. It sounds almost Nordic to me, as an English speaker with a smattering of French. I definitely get the feel of an ancient saga. Tolkienesque, and I mean that as a most sincere compliment.

Author of the Wyrd West Chronicles and the Toy Soldier Saga Eater of pickles, Friend of nerds, First of her name
3 Feb, 2020 06:54

I'm glad I managed to evoke that Nordic feel, that was the intention all along. :) My Fay are inspired mainly by Norse folklore but with a smattering of other cultures, so giving them a Norse-sounding language was paramount to evoking that.   Thank you so much for the kind words!

Author of prize-winning RPG settings Dark Shadows and Cinders of the Cataclysm. Designer of the narratively focused Celenia D10 RPG System.
3 Feb, 2020 14:54

returns after several days away Ooooo, you added a Legacy section! I like the Legacy section as it gives a sense of "Epilogue" from the main story.   For content/grammar, I personally haven't caught anything, and I am still curious for all the bits of lore you hinted at or have left room for.   Alas, I can only like/favorite an article only one time, or else I'd keep pressing "like" on this one.

Lyraine, Consumer of Lore, She/Her, primary project: Corive
6 Feb, 2020 13:26

I think it video is the greatest part of the article, it's fascinating to hear the text pronounced!   What I'm wondering, is what is the relationship between Atlága Vekja and the real world Nordic languages? I only have real experience on Swedish, so I can't really say how close this is to Old Norse, except that it looks like it.

6 Feb, 2020 16:32

The phonology of Vekja and Swedish map almost 1:1, with the exception of a few digraphs and a couple of added phonemes. It's leaned towards Old Norse and heavily inspired by it. The grammar have nothing in common, aside from having fem/masc and sing/dual/plur forms.   My goal with this language was to make a usable conlang that is an evocation, not copy, of Old Norse. Some words are deliberately chosen to be close to Scandinavian words because they evoke the feel I'm after (such as høndr for "hand").   When push comes to shove, there is little beyond a large phonetic overlap that joins Old Norse and Vekja together, but I'm glad the evocation is there. Because that was the point. :)

Author of prize-winning RPG settings Dark Shadows and Cinders of the Cataclysm. Designer of the narratively focused Celenia D10 RPG System.
Forgemaster Dimitris
Dimitris Havlidis
13 Mar, 2020 14:01

I honestly have no words, this is such an amazing piece of work any way you see it. I cannot think of a more deserving article to have won the competition. Congratulations Toblin.

15 Mar, 2020 00:26

Thank you, Dimi! It means a lot to me to hear that from you <3

Author of prize-winning RPG settings Dark Shadows and Cinders of the Cataclysm. Designer of the narratively focused Celenia D10 RPG System.
14 Mar, 2020 19:25

Toblin, my friend....freakin brilliant. Going to get my children together and watch the video again....

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