Jacob "Mute" Burnley Character in The Void Between | World Anvil

Jacob "Mute" Burnley

The Interview

Mute stared into a mirror. He looked the part, but he was concerned about more than looking presentable. He had to prepare his mind, as well, the fear of rejection weighing down on him. He turned to leave, stepping out of his quarters and into a long hallway. Metal doors lined each wall, save for sections of the building that were missing.   While sturdy, the complex was a ruin. They were all ruins. This fact was the one he struggled with the most when he came to Safeharbor. Humanity survives on the bones of those who came before.   He walked down the hall to the makeshift elevator. Stepping inside, he pressed the down button and crossed his arms. He heard the sound of metal on metal as the elevator began its descent. The shaft was open, a section of the building stripped and butchered for parts.   He could see for miles. He saw the faint light through cracks and windows as others woke and began their day. He saw the steam and smoke billowing from Caydie's Cradle in the distance. He watched the blue star creep over the horizon and scoffed. Beats the station, Mute thought. Can’t find much better than this view.   When the elevator stopped, he stepped out. He casually walked along the metal ground, avoiding patches of wet, red moss that covered most of the planet-wide city. He watched as people appeared and disappeared from view.   He knew it would be an eventful day, but dreaded every moment of it. He paused and waited for the tram to arrive. He wondered how late it would be, if it showed up at all. Last week it was a roadblock, a collapsed building. It took a hundred people to clear it off the tramway. He came prepared, though. He wouldn't need to be at his destination for another two hours.   In the end, he arrived at the admiral's office fifteen minutes early. Mute remembered her voice. How could he forget? When he arrived, it was the only other human he heard in years, apart from Caydie's . She reached over to a rectangular device on her desk and pressed a red button. Only then did she ask him to enter...
 
Jacob Burnley?
 
It's Mute, ma'am.
 
Allright, then. Mute, my name is Miranda Thrace. Please have a seat. This will be recorded, just letting you know. For the record, I've read nothing pertaining to you and your past. This includes all those interrogations from when you first landed. I have a brief overview, a resume. You may be repeating yourself a bit, but I like a non-biased approach when dealing with the Wayfarer Initiative. Success is based on merit alone.
 
That's a relief. I've been worried.
 
Are you not liking your celebrity status?
 
Well, no. I'm not a fan of crowds. My point is I don't want preferential treatment.
 
That's fair. I doubt you have much to worry about. You've shown how skilled you are. How many classes have you tested out of?
 
I have no idea. I'm told 84% of training.
 
That… that's impressive. Well done. I assume that's due to your life on a space station?
 
Absolutely. The life of a wayfarer is surprisingly similar.
 
How so?
 
I know how to pilot a ship, and how to maintain it. I know how to repair and operate equipment and can learn the same with other technology made by other species.
 
That's a bold claim.
 
You don't always have to know how it works to fix it or operate it. Our warp drives were given to us by the Eden, we don't know how they work at all, and yet, repairing them isn't exactly complicated. Troubleshoot it, take what's broken off, and put its replacement back on. Simple.
 
I see. Tell me about your life.
 
That's a bit of a broad topic. I was born on a space station and worked as a scavenger since I was 15. I was one of 10 humans living there at the time.
 
What happened to the others?
 
My mother died due to an outbreak on the station. That happened from time to time. The others faded away. Some left on passenger ships, and others died during the first war, taken by siliue science ships.
 
How did you survive?
 
My mother spent what she had to get me vaccinated. As far as avoiding the purge, I got lucky. I was salvaging a mining barge when the siliue came. When I got back, I was alone. I didn't have a translator and no one could look me in the eye anyway, so I started calling myself Mute. It was easier for most on the station to pronounce.
   
How did you communicate? How were you able to sustain a job without communication?
 
You'd be surprised how far body language can get you. When that doesn't work, experience and repetition can be enough. I rarely failed to understand what was being asked of me.
   
You lack some of the more telling signs of being born in space. You're adapting well to the gravity here and you seem average in height and weight. Why is that?
 
My mother worked throughout her pregnancy and saved up as much as she could. Most stations have a medical program for infants that help maintain bone and muscle growth despite having less than optimal gravity. These programs also help build the immune system and being around so many other species helps with that as well.
 
That takes a special kind of woman. I'm sorry you lost her.
 
I've healed for the most part, though it never goes away. Take my name. It was the last thing I heard her say and until very recently, one of the last things I heard from a human.
 
Completely unrelated, it’s just the next question, so don't take offense. Mental and physical health history?
 
I understand. Nothing to worry about.
 
What does that mean?
 
It means from my perspective, I'm fairly normal. The only exception is that I tend to be forgetful and struggle with motivation.
 
In the navy, we call that laziness.
 
Really? Do you think I'd be able to skip the majority of training if I was just lazy?
 
Point taken. Executive dysfunction perhaps. A psychological evaluation is required before you can successfully join the wayfarers. Maybe we can help.
 
I'm confused. I'm sorry but I don't really see how any of this reveals my merit. You said you have my resume, by definition, that is a reflection of my capabilities.
 
Miranda reached out and stopped the recording. She sighed and shook her head, the look on her face was hard, colder than before. Mute assumed she wasn’t much for smiling, but this caught him off guard.   “Did I say something?” he asked.   “Listen very carefully. I’m in the military. That means I have superiors to answer to, even as the admiral.” She paused and adjusted herself, shifting in her seat before continuing, “The Elders of Safeharbor are not particularly fond of the wayfarers. They make it my job to try and dissuade recruits from joining.”   “You’re asking me to quit?”   “Absolutely not,” she said, shaking her head and giving the slightest smirk. She clasped her hands together and rested them on her desk. “I’m just explaining what will happen when I begin recording again. I’m not one for government meddling. I want you to make your own decision, no matter how much I insist.”   “I understand, but what's the point? I never heard of any tension going on. ”   “Frankly, I doubt the wayfarers even know it exists,” she replied, reaching for the recorder again. "There isn't a single answer on this recording that they care about. They will skip everything leading up to what I'm about to ask you. It's a front. They want you anxious when you walk into this room, makes you easier to manipulate."
 
Mute, forgive me for saying, but I strongly believe you’d be wasted among the wayfarers. The navy could use someone as skilled as you. I could pull some strings to speed things along. You could have your own ship in a year.”
 
Oh, no I think I'm good. That was a little out of line, don’t you think.
 
Not at all, though I understand. The option is there. I meant every word. Honestly, I could use someone like you.
Well thank you, but I think I’ll stick to my original plan, assuming I qualify.
 
You more than qualify. I’ll send your information over to Dawn. Thank you for your time.
 
Mute shook his head. When she stopped recording, he laughed. “Do they seriously think that’s going to get people to change their minds?” Miranda took a deep breath before answering, “You’d be surprised how often it does. You only need navigational training and combat training to make it official. I’ve already scheduled navigation. You need to be at the orientation complex in Dawn. The course begins tonight at 8.” She paused and watched as he nodded and stood up from his seat. She didn’t speak again until he nearly left the room. “Good luck.”
Children


Cover image: by Wesley Tingey

Comments

Author's Notes

This one is a little odd. I wanted to stagger each part of the conversation but have yet to really find a way to do it and make it look decent. I apologize and any help would be greatly appreciated!


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Jul 2, 2021 13:55

I read this on my phone and thought it flowed very well. The alternating colors and alignment made it clear who was speaking without prompts, and I think the separation from when the recorder is off and we get more narrative setting was effective. I'll look on a desktop later, but from my pov, this was easy to read.   On a more narrative angle, I enjoyed the description of Safeharbor and I loved the dialogue. Smart and credible. Also liked the reveals about the tension between the Wayfarers and the Navy.

Jul 2, 2021 14:44 by R. Dylon Elder

Oooo that's a relief. Thanks man. I hope it's just as good on desktop. Thanks for the kind words!

Jul 2, 2021 14:17 by Avalon Arcana

I actually quite like the way this article is formatted, it seems quite intuitive with shifting between a recording and prose.   The character himself also seems very interesting, i can't wait to see what happens with him.

You should check out the The 5 Shudake, if you want of course.
Jul 2, 2021 14:45 by R. Dylon Elder

Ahhh, thank you so much. I'm glad it worked out. Mute is a good one. I'm enjoying writing him thus far and I'm glad you're enjoying the read!

Jul 2, 2021 19:13 by Time Bender

This was a nice article! I think the colors being different helped me to differentiate between the two speakers. :)

Jul 2, 2021 19:58 by R. Dylon Elder

Thanks so much for saying that. I'm glad it's working out. I was worried. Thanks so much!

Jul 3, 2021 08:38 by Kaleidechse

That's a great method for telling us about a character's traits and backstory! I really like the visual presentation, and how you alternated between the prose sections and the recorded dialogue. My favorite bit was the exchange about "laziness" that is more likely to be executive dysfunction. (Coincidentally, I read something about this just a few days ago.) Great article!


Creator of the Kaleidoscope System and the planet Miragia.
Jul 3, 2021 13:50 by R. Dylon Elder

Thanks so much! I was worried there. I'm glad everything meshes well.   Ooo yes. Executive dysfunction is not a fun time. I'm glad someone latched onto that bit. Again thanks so much!

Jul 5, 2021 00:08 by Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull

Ooo such a nicely formatted article. I really like the sound of Mute. I enjoyed both the prose and the interview. Really clever way of telling us all about him. :)

Emy x   Etrea | Vazdimet
Jul 6, 2021 04:49 by R. Dylon Elder

Thanks so much!

Jul 10, 2021 07:12

I'm gonna have to study this if I'm gonna do that voice.   The rivalry between the navy and the wayfarers could lead to some interesting plotlines...   I'm wondering why Mute is so particular about keeping his nickname even after he gets back among other humans.

Jul 10, 2021 15:53 by R. Dylon Elder

This is lightly touched on but I may need to rewrite and make it more clear. His mom was the last person to use his real name. It bugs him when others use it. He spent years never hearing it. It's like being two separate people. Also yes. This one is important for the voice.   Also... yess... the rivalry could definitely lead to some interesting plotlones...

Jul 14, 2021 23:07 by Jacob Billings

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You're phenomenal at dialogue. It's a perfect way for you to express character and, in the case of this, you do well to implement a touch of other worldbuilding and leave some context.  

My mother worked throughout her pregnancy and saved up as much as she could. Most stations have a medical program for infants that help maintain bone and muscle growth despite having less than optimal gravity. These programs also help build the immune system and being around so many other species helps with that as well.

While my previous statement stands, this line was slightly confusing. If she's interviewing him as a Wayfarer, do humans not have any context on space births and the technology Mute mentions? It seems like a weird bit of context as the implication is that the technology is fully alien and humanity knows nothing of it. Her question also leads to this conclusion, indicating a full curiosity instead of just questioning how he acquired the technology.  
You said you have my resume, by definition, that is a reflection of my capabilities.

This is the first bit of grammar I can really point out as dialogue alone is easier to manage. Anyway, you need it to read "resume and, by definition, that" as the "by definition" is an appositive phrase meaning the sentence should function even if you removed it. In this case, "You said you have my resume that is a reflection of my capabilities" doesn't work. "You said you have my resume, that is a reflection of my capabilities." That is a bit closer, but needs the and regardless as it would be two potentially independent clauses. Go for "You said you have my resume and, by definition, that is a reflection of my capabilities."   You have a formatting problem after the line "Not at all, though I understand. The option is there. I meant every word. Honestly, I could use someone like you." as the expected break between boxes is absent. Another formatting problem is present in the final prose box as you don't separate paragraphs. This is especially important as it's really, and I do mean really, rare for a single paragraph, as in the box, to container multiple speakers. Also, what kind of tone does she take in the last line? Is it meant to be soft and more for herself or is a confident and warm tone or, perhaps, is it a formal response? You've got minor conflicts of character, specifically in the middle prose block where you indicate a strong formal air and then immediately disrupt it by having her offer advice. I would suggest using this line to finalize the kind of characterization you want. (You should also look at them a bit more in the future to indicate character as, while you're good at character, it's a powerful method of characterization)   Sorry that this was a shorter comment. This kind of article really highlights how incredibly you know your characters and their language in dialogue. Anyway, super good article. It was great and I loved the insight.   Also, how dare you use my name, which has been professionally trademarked, for a character ;)

Jul 15, 2021 00:55 by R. Dylon Elder

Shorter comments arent a problem good sir. Either way I'm happy it was read and happy to recieve the criticism. It helps me improve after all. Lol i... really dont know what happened with the last box... lemme fix that. That's weird. I double space my paragraphs yet for some reason it isnt showing up in the article.   I will also say that you mayndins some suggestions arent used, or maybe. Depends on if you have a reason not to in this case. The final line is intentionally vague but as to whether that's a good idea, Idk.   My goal is for readers to begin with few pieces and as they progress they get more. In this case, is miranda using a formal tone, just doing her job or a warm tone, genuinely happy at his choice and wishing him luck? The article implies the later, given she stopped the recording. Prolly a bad idea, but it was worth a shot XD   I will also say that she was genuinely curious. She's Safeharbor born. (you dont know that yet.) She would have no idea that tech exists. It is definitely alien.   Excellent comment. Thanks so much for the kind words!

Jul 15, 2021 02:22 by Jacob Billings

Hmm. That's weird. Where are you paragraph breaks in that final prose box, out of curiosity, because that dictates the ambiguity of the final line. Presently, I was reading it as a continuation of her previous line where I felt specificity would fit. However, if it was a completely separate line without anything attached, the ambiguity can sit a bit stronger as it no longer is compared to her previous bit of dialogue.   " that you mayndins some suggestions arent used, or maybe." I'm trying to puzzle out what that means, but I'm very lost.   See. I did understand that the implication of her stopping the recording was that some aspect of her was sympathetic, however, a problem arises in the fact she maintains the extremely formal appearance, doubling down on it. As the indications you give are that she is loyal to her job, her intentionally warning him in such a blatant manner can easily be misconstrued which becomes a bit distracting. Overall, the ambiguity of the final line—if clarified as I mentioned with the paragraph breaks—would evoke the image of a whispered line to someone. It's hard to describe, but kind of the idea of the person speaking doing so for themselves as that fits with the timing and character more in my mind. Really, I think the biggest problem is the conflict in the second prose box and the lack of line breaks in the final prose box.   Ooh. Interesting. Her reaction was very subdued for learning about alien technology, but the plights of a working individual, I guess.

Jul 15, 2021 03:16 by R. Dylon Elder

Oooooo yup! I shall address these issues. As far as what that bit means, I apologize. My autocorrect is absolute trash but it's not relevant now so no worries. That makes it perfectly clear.   It is subdued for sure. My thought was that it made sense for her to be curious but not super enthused since alien tech is usually better than human tech, which she would know. It wouldnt be surprising but shed still be curious if that makes sense.

Aug 13, 2021 12:43

Great article and nicely written style! It is fun to read through this since it is written in a dialogue form. I also love the alternating boxes for the speakers. :)

Feel free to check my new world Terra Occidentalis if you want to see what I am up to!
Aug 17, 2021 22:33 by Grace Gittel Lewis

Nice, some more character backstory!   You did a pretty good job with staggering the conversation, I think! There were a few hiccups with spacing between each but nothing major.

May 6, 2022 02:08 by Lilliana Casper

I really like the way this article was formatted. The recorded parts of the conversation were so well done and the reveal about the Elders makes them incredibly suspicious. Great job here!

Lilliana Casper   I don't comment much, but I love reading your articles! Please check out my worlds, Jerde and Tread of Darkness.
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