Onobpa of Dataf

Disclaimer: I am using Magmer language words where I can. I will list all the words used in the side bar.   Once there was no time. The years did not go. The anardag were quiet. They were barely tafu'onom Their peeks were blank and sharp. There was no tof coming from within them. It is unknown if they were sleeping, sick, or even dead, but they were cold.   The Onobpa of the time were cold as well. They had hearts as cold as rivers, eyes as cold as the night sky, and skin as bright as kukt. They had fur on their heads, and the fur of animals on their skin to protect them.   That was the Onobpa of Dataf.   They were a weak Onobpa, even weaker than our current day Dataf, with physical power not even enough to hurt a simple pebble, and were much more than we are in need of physical food. We can not imagine nowadays, how much they ate. They were monsters. They ate entire animals, thrice the size of a scale mouse, in a single day. And they could do the same on the next day as well. And on every day of their lives.   Not necessary not say, the mountains did not like this. It is said that a loud noise woke them up. A noise coming from the sea, that traveled across the whole world. It reached the Mountains and took off their white nightcaps. But the anardag were not tofrur, they were toftofrur. Incinerated by the brutality and weakness of the Onobpa of Dataf, they created this land.   First, they took away these huge plants. The legend says, the toftof stood hundreds of meters high until the grass and wheat was all burnt down. The land became white and grey from the ashes.   Next, they built the magmer. They did not build them perfectly, and sometimes we still get a dataf or two within our ranks, but it is never as bad as it used to be. The anardag gave us strength, and a better skin, and they took away all this burning fur.   At last, the anardag went all the way to the sea, and warmed it up. Now they are giving us everything we need. Their kukt holds us alive, and we are independent of the wheat and grass and work of ancient times.   This is why, my children, every year some of the young adults decide to go to the anardag to offer them a tasty scale mouse or two. Because they pleased us with far more.
anardag volcano, mighty mountain tafu'onom mountain, big rock tof fire, warmth; comfort Onobpa people, civilization dataf albino onobpa of dataf Albino-people kukt sulfur tofrur warm, warm-hearted (person), comfortable (place) toftofrur energetic, motivated, heated, passionate toftof wildfire, uncontrollable fire; explosion
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Cover image: by Samuel Zeller

Comments

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16 Jul, 2018 20:47

I like the way this was written in first person, as if we are hearing it from someone within your world. Nice touch. :)

16 Jul, 2018 21:11

Thanks ^^

17 Jul, 2018 00:36

This was a really good story! It definitely felt like it came from within your world, and the use of their language added quite a bit to the experience! Nice job!

17 Jul, 2018 00:53

A very interesting tale, and take on the creation of an environment. It was very interesting reading it with the built in language to give a unique cultural feel of the story being delivered.