Operation Silo - Mission Report
Someone Elsewood recaps a Christmas mission in the countryside to C.A.R....
Trigger Warnings
If you would like to listen without these triggers, click here for the Abridged Version
Transcript
Mentions of unspecified trafficking
If you would like to listen without these triggers, click here for the Abridged Version
Transcript
Someone begins a report and recalls his Christmas Eve mission...
Someone Elsewood:
CAR?
C.A.R.:
Yes, Someone?
Someone Elsewood:
Begin recording.
C.A.R.:
Recording. Someone Elsewood:
(clears throat) Mission report. Operation Silo: An elusive drug-smuggling trigger censored
ring was suspected of possessing a storehouse somewhere along the Delaware countryside to avoid suspicion and prying eyes. After much tracking and observation, the general area at which many deliveries and transactions seem to have taken place was successfully pinpointed. Within this area lie three active farms. For several reasons, the government was advised not to send in large vehicles, combat teams, or search dogs if these mere suspicions were not confirmed. Doing so could cause an uproar in the community and contribute to the nation’s continuous unrest. Solution? Send a scout. A scout who won’t be suspected in the least. This scout is yours truly: Elite Espionage Agent Someone Elsewood.
Friday, 24th December, 2027, I decided to take an old jalopy from headquarters and drive it straight out. To ensure plausibility of my fabricated story, I navigated down the highways and roads in said jalopy all the way down to my destinations, as opposed to being dropped off unrealistically by some helicopter or other conspicuous vessel.
During the car ride, I was able to fortify the research I had prior conducted, while naturally cultivating a believable travelling story. I also took several photos along the way to sell the realism. (suave) If, in fact, WILLOWISP believes any of my actions to be a terrible waste of time, energy, or other resources, I have enclosed numerous arguments to further prove the purpose of my methods. (quickly murmurs) See attached files.
(resumes) I wanted to make sure that my vehicle was actually in the condition I would claim it to be, so, though my tank was near empty, I refused to fill up with petrol. My car sputtered out and stranded me on the side of the road exactly as planned. I then exited my vehicle and began walking through the harsh snowstorm on foot. I wanted to dress appropriately, but not so much so that it seemed calculated or that I’d appear to anyone I encountered as being too prepared. For this reason, I also refused to carry too many things along with me on my person.
The ruse would be that I was simply seeking a place to fill up my gas can before returning to my vehicle immediately. I wanted to seem polite but not overly so to the point that it came across as unrealistic.
After a mere three hours from the time I originally set out from Jack Pine, I finally arrived at my first farm. The farmers here were a kind lot who spoke both Spanish and English. Putting on my American accent, I momentarily debated whether or not to inform them of my ability to comprehend the language. However, I quickly settled on the partial truth that I could only say and recognize a few of its words.
Despite the fact that I insisted on immediately making the trek back to my vehicle with the petrol that was ever so graciously provided to me by Jose, the farm’s owner, I was invited inside and welcomed to warm up before returning to the road. My story was that I was attempting to visit family for Christmas, so I needed to resume my journey as soon as possible as not to be late. I quickly concluded that this multigenerational home was very hospitable. Abuela Rosa was only a tad skeptical at my sudden arrival, but after speaking a bit in Spanish with her son Jose, her fears were alleviated. There were also two children; Juan and Eva. Neither could have been over the age of ten.
Their mother Maria, and her father Abuelo Raul, were also present. They were all preparing the homestead for Christmas and allowed me to take part in some taste testing of the wares. I gratefully obliged. After utilizing the restroom, I informed them that it would be best if I then took my leave. Jose offered to drive me out to my car and so we talked a bit on the way. From what I observed, this farm appeared to be completely clear of any illegal activity, but I did not neglect to implement the proper devices…just in case. Once my car was filled and started, Jose saw me off and bid me Feliz Navidad.
For the next farm, I had to slightly change my appearance, clothing, and accent. I also changed what happened to my vehicle. Now filled with petrol, I decided to allow my car’s battery to deplete with the help of a special draining device. Wearing the new clothes I had stashed under the seat, I set out again in the harsh weather. The next family was just as kind, also allowing me to enter their home and get warm. Unlike my previous hosts, this household only consisted of an older African-American couple. Both Myrtle and Cletus were likely to be in their sixties. Over a bite to eat, they informed me that their children would like them to give up the farm and retire, as it all seems entirely too much work. The couple refused the offer, however, letting me know that they are still determined and able to tend to their crops and livestock. They also expressed gratitude for their grandchildren, who often visit and assist with chores. They told me that many of their family members were planning to visit them for Christmas dinner the next evening. As we were speaking, one of their sons arrived early with his wife and children. Myrtle and Cletus explained who I was, and began helping the family settle in. I quickly alerted them that I should be heading out to see my own family, so Cletus offered to drive me to my vehicle and help with giving the battery a jump. I set all the precautions in place while they were distracted and spoke with Cletus during the ride back, but this farm also appeared to be clean.
Once I was far enough down the road and away from Myrtle and Cletus’ farm, I discreetly deposited a rusty nail into one of my tires so that a flat could serve as my next ruse. I started off again towards the final farm when I noticed something. My detection instruments were picking up on strange signals nearby. There were no other cars on the road, so it had to be something else. The only thing remotely close by appeared to be an old, abandoned barn sitting on a large patch of overgrown land. The entire scene appeared as if it were nothing special at all, but my devices made me curious. I decided to park my car and exit the vehicle. By this time, the sun was beginning to set and the snowfall was picking up. Everything was covered in white and frosted over. It was apparent no one had been there for years…or was it?
There were several red flags that corroborated my theory. Even though the snow had covered any previous footprints, I could tell by the patchy spots of ice beneath my own feet that others had stepped over the ground recently, causing the snow to melt and refreeze before being blanketed in this latest layer. My detector’s levels increased as I approached the old barn. I could tell there really was something hiding within. I knocked, still pretending to be a weary traveller in distress. But when I didn’t receive an answer, I pushed open the ragged door. Inside, things seemed a little too neat, considering the condition of the outside of the structure. There was also a lack of cobwebs over the door I’d entered through, while other exits were practically crawling with them. Of course, this could be chalked up to mischievous kids playing games, but it seemed something more sinister to me. This barn was emitting signals, but I didn’t see any electronic devices about. There had to be a hidden cellar. After fiddling around, I found a trapdoor in the floor. It was password-protected, but I bypassed that easily enough. Descending the rickety staircase, my suspicions were confirmed. Within this hidden space were several parcels of contraband trigger censored
. I quickly trigger censored
called WILLOWISP to inform the agency of my findings.
For the next few hours, I kept watch for any perpetrators, but it seemed they all had taken the holiday off. Before long, (hesitant, annoyed) …Bruce Machete and his tactical team arrived via helicopter. trigger censored
the Cacti stormed the hidden base, raiding it of its illegal goods and collecting evidence that would prove essential in eventually tracking down the direct individuals behind this operation.
(dramatic, exaggeratory, bragging) Please note that I was not accompanied by a... (snide) partner (resumes) for any part of this mission. Nor was I being supervised by automated agents such as CAR. Even still, I managed not to cause a single explosion. Consider that your little present. Merry Christmas, Commander. And General Rigotto, too. (chuckles slyly) End report. C.A.R.:
(technological sound)
Someone Elsewood:
CAR?
C.A.R.
Yes?
Someone Elsewood:
Thank you very much.
C.A.R.
Thank you, Someone. Merry Christmas.
Someone laughs, exits the vehicle, CAR starts up recording again.
C.A.R.
Might I add that I am quite glad I did not accompany Someone on this mission. It would have been a nightmare to play the part. The poor jalopy was run through the mill. Thank heavens it was not a Computerized Alert Relay System.
Someone Elsewood:
CAR?
C.A.R.:
Yes, Someone?
Someone Elsewood:
Begin recording.
C.A.R.:
Recording. Someone Elsewood:
(clears throat) Mission report. Operation Silo: An elusive drug-smuggling trigger censored
and trafficking
Friday, 24th December, 2027, I decided to take an old jalopy from headquarters and drive it straight out. To ensure plausibility of my fabricated story, I navigated down the highways and roads in said jalopy all the way down to my destinations, as opposed to being dropped off unrealistically by some helicopter or other conspicuous vessel.
During the car ride, I was able to fortify the research I had prior conducted, while naturally cultivating a believable travelling story. I also took several photos along the way to sell the realism. (suave) If, in fact, WILLOWISP believes any of my actions to be a terrible waste of time, energy, or other resources, I have enclosed numerous arguments to further prove the purpose of my methods. (quickly murmurs) See attached files.
(resumes) I wanted to make sure that my vehicle was actually in the condition I would claim it to be, so, though my tank was near empty, I refused to fill up with petrol. My car sputtered out and stranded me on the side of the road exactly as planned. I then exited my vehicle and began walking through the harsh snowstorm on foot. I wanted to dress appropriately, but not so much so that it seemed calculated or that I’d appear to anyone I encountered as being too prepared. For this reason, I also refused to carry too many things along with me on my person.
The ruse would be that I was simply seeking a place to fill up my gas can before returning to my vehicle immediately. I wanted to seem polite but not overly so to the point that it came across as unrealistic.
After a mere three hours from the time I originally set out from Jack Pine, I finally arrived at my first farm. The farmers here were a kind lot who spoke both Spanish and English. Putting on my American accent, I momentarily debated whether or not to inform them of my ability to comprehend the language. However, I quickly settled on the partial truth that I could only say and recognize a few of its words.
Despite the fact that I insisted on immediately making the trek back to my vehicle with the petrol that was ever so graciously provided to me by Jose, the farm’s owner, I was invited inside and welcomed to warm up before returning to the road. My story was that I was attempting to visit family for Christmas, so I needed to resume my journey as soon as possible as not to be late. I quickly concluded that this multigenerational home was very hospitable. Abuela Rosa was only a tad skeptical at my sudden arrival, but after speaking a bit in Spanish with her son Jose, her fears were alleviated. There were also two children; Juan and Eva. Neither could have been over the age of ten.
Their mother Maria, and her father Abuelo Raul, were also present. They were all preparing the homestead for Christmas and allowed me to take part in some taste testing of the wares. I gratefully obliged. After utilizing the restroom, I informed them that it would be best if I then took my leave. Jose offered to drive me out to my car and so we talked a bit on the way. From what I observed, this farm appeared to be completely clear of any illegal activity, but I did not neglect to implement the proper devices…just in case. Once my car was filled and started, Jose saw me off and bid me Feliz Navidad.
For the next farm, I had to slightly change my appearance, clothing, and accent. I also changed what happened to my vehicle. Now filled with petrol, I decided to allow my car’s battery to deplete with the help of a special draining device. Wearing the new clothes I had stashed under the seat, I set out again in the harsh weather. The next family was just as kind, also allowing me to enter their home and get warm. Unlike my previous hosts, this household only consisted of an older African-American couple. Both Myrtle and Cletus were likely to be in their sixties. Over a bite to eat, they informed me that their children would like them to give up the farm and retire, as it all seems entirely too much work. The couple refused the offer, however, letting me know that they are still determined and able to tend to their crops and livestock. They also expressed gratitude for their grandchildren, who often visit and assist with chores. They told me that many of their family members were planning to visit them for Christmas dinner the next evening. As we were speaking, one of their sons arrived early with his wife and children. Myrtle and Cletus explained who I was, and began helping the family settle in. I quickly alerted them that I should be heading out to see my own family, so Cletus offered to drive me to my vehicle and help with giving the battery a jump. I set all the precautions in place while they were distracted and spoke with Cletus during the ride back, but this farm also appeared to be clean.
Once I was far enough down the road and away from Myrtle and Cletus’ farm, I discreetly deposited a rusty nail into one of my tires so that a flat could serve as my next ruse. I started off again towards the final farm when I noticed something. My detection instruments were picking up on strange signals nearby. There were no other cars on the road, so it had to be something else. The only thing remotely close by appeared to be an old, abandoned barn sitting on a large patch of overgrown land. The entire scene appeared as if it were nothing special at all, but my devices made me curious. I decided to park my car and exit the vehicle. By this time, the sun was beginning to set and the snowfall was picking up. Everything was covered in white and frosted over. It was apparent no one had been there for years…or was it?
There were several red flags that corroborated my theory. Even though the snow had covered any previous footprints, I could tell by the patchy spots of ice beneath my own feet that others had stepped over the ground recently, causing the snow to melt and refreeze before being blanketed in this latest layer. My detector’s levels increased as I approached the old barn. I could tell there really was something hiding within. I knocked, still pretending to be a weary traveller in distress. But when I didn’t receive an answer, I pushed open the ragged door. Inside, things seemed a little too neat, considering the condition of the outside of the structure. There was also a lack of cobwebs over the door I’d entered through, while other exits were practically crawling with them. Of course, this could be chalked up to mischievous kids playing games, but it seemed something more sinister to me. This barn was emitting signals, but I didn’t see any electronic devices about. There had to be a hidden cellar. After fiddling around, I found a trapdoor in the floor. It was password-protected, but I bypassed that easily enough. Descending the rickety staircase, my suspicions were confirmed. Within this hidden space were several parcels of contraband trigger censored
and even a small group of young men and women who were entirely underdressed and underfed
ushered the six of them out to my vehicle so that they could be warmed whilst I
For the next few hours, I kept watch for any perpetrators, but it seemed they all had taken the holiday off. Before long, (hesitant, annoyed) …Bruce Machete and his tactical team arrived via helicopter. trigger censored
Fee took the hostages, whilst the rest of
(dramatic, exaggeratory, bragging) Please note that I was not accompanied by a... (snide) partner (resumes) for any part of this mission. Nor was I being supervised by automated agents such as CAR. Even still, I managed not to cause a single explosion. Consider that your little present. Merry Christmas, Commander. And General Rigotto, too. (chuckles slyly) End report. C.A.R.:
(technological sound)
Someone Elsewood:
CAR?
C.A.R.
Yes?
Someone Elsewood:
Thank you very much.
C.A.R.
Thank you, Someone. Merry Christmas.
Someone laughs, exits the vehicle, CAR starts up recording again.
C.A.R.
Might I add that I am quite glad I did not accompany Someone on this mission. It would have been a nightmare to play the part. The poor jalopy was run through the mill. Thank heavens it was not a Computerized Alert Relay System.
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