The Gilded Beef Building / Landmark in Malkora | World Anvil

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The Gilded Beef

The highlight of any trip to the lower city docks — that is, if you can handle all of the grease on your plate.

They've got the freshest ingredients, but you wouldn't know it from the way it looks when it reaches your table.
— Satisfied Regular
  The Gilded Beef is a tavern located in Gold Port's lower city, tucked between the docks and market, best known for its self-titled signature dish: The Gilded Beef.
Gold Port, Lower City
Tavern, Dive Bar
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The Marina's Greasetrap

Some love it, some hate it, but none can deny that the Gilded Beef is one of the most popular taverns in Gold Port's lower city. Ever-bustling, this hole-in-the-wall of an establishment seats a surprisingly large number of patrons, and regularly proves that each and every seat is needed. Patrons pack into the small space much like the tins of fish packed by the local fishermen — any comparison in smell is left to individual opinion.   Meals served at the Gilded Beef come only in one portion size, and that is healthy. Heaps of food are slopped onto plates, a callous mix of ingredients and cuisines culminating in a mountain of greasy morsels ready for the hungriest of mouths.

On the Menu

An establishment this fine doesn't have a menu — you must come knowing what you want, and declare your choice with confidence. Some examples of the finest the Gilded Beef has offered its patrons will be shown below.  
Section in Progress

More delicious meals coming soon — likely after WorldEmber. Have a suggestion? Leave it in a note below!
The Gilded Beef

From the kitchens arrives the largest hunk of meat you've ever seen served on a tavern tray, fried until crispy perfection, and dripping with more grease than a lifetime's diet might require.   Atop this greasy delight is a haphazardly slapped-on sheet of gold leaf. The locals call it fine dining.

Age-Old Traditions

Somewhere in the establishment's history, it came upon a golden cow statue, and neither the patrons nor the staff are eager to let it go any time soon. Rumors of all kinds surround the object, mostly around its origins. Did a patron bring it and leave it by mistake? Was it a gift to the tavern, as an ode to its name? Did the staff bring it in, and choose to never mention it to mess with their patrons?   Despite its unknown origins, the cow statue is often the center of celebrations and revelry within the space, and gets passed around whenever rounds of drinks go out. Many will cheer with the statue, some might give it a kiss, and some will raise it skyward as they chug their drink — anyone who makes any statement implying that the cow is not made from real gold, however, is removed from the building without hesitation or ceremony.

Cover image: by Strixxline


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Jan 1, 2024 17:30 by Absinthe

Breakfast: Samphire and potatoes fried in lemon butter with a side of grilled tomatoes and baked beans with fried eggs on top.

Jan 26, 2024 18:55 by Mikey Stevens

This really should not have made me as hungry as it did! I don't know if your a GoT (books) fan, but this sort of reminds me of some of the eateries of that world, maybe in flea bottom or the tavern where Arya meets hotpie. For menu ideas, definitely look up "Man vs Food" (probably only get old episodes on YouTube now) but he finds the most gut-busting meals to be found all over the US. I like the tradition of the golden cow - perhaps there is a particular shiny part (the head, rump, etc.) where patrons over the years have patted it for luck, or as thanks for such a satisfyingly filling meal. I'll definitely pop back to the Gilded Beef from time to time to peruse the menu!

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