Lillian Eagleton's Lament
I never planned to be a short order cook. Can't make a good omelet to save my life. But saving others' lives...that I'm good at. Yeah, yeah, taking them, too. I can stab the wings off a rogue birbiankin faster than they can haul away a victim, that's for sure. Mostly saving. Eight years as Meghan Kristi's cartel-equivalent of a lady in waiting, eleven years of active combat medicine during the Oracle-Tell Wars. A lot of bullet wounds. A lot of magical curses, burns, and stabbings, and I only ever lost one patient in the field, while I pumped Meghan's chest and swore at her for following her passions. I was proud of her, though. Walter Kristi is a bad man, a worse boss, and he was a lousy excuse for a husband. That day, I promised her I'd look out for their son. When Connor left the main estate and got his own place, well inside neutral borders, it was a simple thing to best my competition and make a place for myself on-staff. Every morning, noon, night, I prep enough for the young master, ten security guards, four maids, our driver, and whoever happens to be visiting for the night. It's a hungry household, and there's no end to the food preparation. Ever. In my infinite patience, I see to their cuts and bruises and food demands with ease, even giving that I'm certain I will eternally smell like a bastardized concoction of cinnamon and raw meat. You know what though, now that you're asking: my sleep schedule is...lacking, though I am trying to convince the Master that late nights are never good for quality breakfasts. He hasn't complained. With enough "accidental" eggshells, I will break him soon. Cooking's not much different than field medicine, when you think about it. Blood, guts, prepping, mixing up pastes and applying herbs, chopping--okay, the metaphor's not perfect. Screw you. No one's died on my watch yet. I should get way more credit, at the very least, for...that.
Inside an Upperclass Maliçade KitchenMost manors, mansions, estates, and castles in and around the city employ a full-time kitchen crew. Typically there is a head chef, an under chef, a handful of specialized chefs for more time-consuming preparations, at least two employed for wait staff, and a general maintenance and cleaning crew. While kitchen staff is well-paid and treated well enough to prevent poisoning of household occupants, there is a common sense of underappreciation for their skills, particularly in upperclass Kynd kitchens, where the most common request is "A slab of raw meat. Now."
Chef de CuisineHead of the kitchen, in charge of wrangling the rest of the staff, managing the menu, and completely to blame if a meal goes wrong. They serve as check and balance for all the other staff. If the staff fails, the head chef falls. Some kitchens, like Lillian Eagleton's, only have a single, personal chef. Usually these households are smaller, so as work increases, she remains on the hunt for additional, competent hands.
Sous ChefSecond-in-command in an upperclass kitchen. In Maliçade they are in charge of prep and would know all the ins and outs of the dishes being prepared, in case emergency substitutions or additional portions are required. In smaller households, they might be the only other staff on hire, so they will also function as a Chef de Tournant, filling in on every station in the kitchen where the head chef isn't.
Chef de PartieLarger, wealthy, or seeking-to-impress households typically leave the hiring of additional kitchen staff to the Chef de Cuisine. Line cooks, then, vary in number depending on the needs of the head chef. They are responsible for specific food preparations in the kitchen and have additional titles related to those stations, such as: Boucher, Poisonnier, Patissier, Rotisseur, Saucier, Grillardin, Garde Manger, Potager, or Legumier.
EscuelerieIf there is a spotless piece of silverware next to your plate, it is due to the dishwasher. If it is not spotless...the household is likely looking for a new Escuelerie. Oddly, these are some of the most respected and highly paid positions in the Maliçade kitchen due to risk assessment: upperclass of every species tends to demand perfection, and anything less than that in presentation or cleanliness necessitates grusome murders at dinnertime.
WANTED: Chef de CuisineLooking for a head chef to manage kitchens for a multi-level manor. Applicants requiring additional staff may hire as needed however all Chef de Partie must meet the same standards for Security.
- Proven experience in Kitchen Management
- Good communication skills but No Questions Asked
- Outstanding adherance to Privacy Protocols
- Hands-on experience with a wide variety of Kitchen Equipment
- Ability to remain focused and calm in a Crisis
- Advanced knowledge of culinary, baking, pastry, and butchering Techniques
- Must be able to appease numerous Strong Personalities
- Must pass extensive Personality Test, Polygraph, and Telepathic Examination
- Must pass Elite Background Check
- Capable of food preparation to satisfy guests with Highly Variable Palates and Dietary Concerns
- Exceptional compliance with Sanitation Standards
- Preparing food at Established Times
- Expected to be on call and make dishes To Order
- Serve food gracefully regardless of Guests
- Maintenance of Kitchen Equipment
NOTICE: POSITION FILLED. FURTHER INQUIRANTS WILL BE IMMEDIATELY DETAINED, VIOLENTLY INTERROGATED, AND POTENTIALLY SHOT.