How Not To Get Eaten by Various Phoenixes Item in Hesli | World Anvil

How Not To Get Eaten by Various Phoenixes

A Possibly Useless Handbook for The Aspiring Phoenix Master

Littered with tidbits, drawings, and notes, this handbook is a must have for everyone who wants to attempt to obtain the rank of Phoenix Master. The booklet contains all kinds of information regarding the Phoenix and the experience of the anonymous Phoenix Master who wrote it. Their, sometimes sinister and cynical, sense of humour also makes it a fun casual read for those who want a secondhand experience of the adventure.  
Bryan! Bryan! I finally bought the book to become a Phoenix Master! Want to tag along on an epic adventure?
— A very excited adventurer


The Phoenix Master Handbook covers every topic an adventurer would need during their journey to accomplish the honoured feat of becoming a Phoenix Master. While the tone of the book certainly conveys humour, many people praise the author for clearly disclosing the dangers and safety precautions of the journey, if the reader decides to embark on the adventure.   The first pages of the handbook contain a lenghty introduction from the author warning the reader about the dangers they will face during their travels. In this introduction, the anonymous phoenix master is adamant that this journey is not for the faint-hearted and one should not go unless they have the necessary experience to undergo this undertaking. Furthermore, the author has dedicated a whole section on safety. This section contains safety of oneself, of ones fellow companions, and of the travel itself.  
Welcome to the adventure of a lifetime! So, you have decided to become a phoenix master? That is a very brave decision of you.

Or are you here just for fun and you do not intend to walk this epic path? In that case:

Shame on you!
Just kidding, I get it.

The path of the Phoenix Master isn't one to tread lightly after all. If you think you're already 100% sure on your decision, please continue reading. I have some extra information that I want you to take into account, before you go out running to the nearest volcano to find your FlamePhoenix.
— A snippet of the Introduction
  After all the warnings and safety lessons, the real fun begins. The handbook goes in great detail about the several environments where each Phoenix resides and how to find these locations; whether that be through reading the intricacies of maps, or inquiring information from the local population. It also covers all the equipment the adventurer needs to survive these conditions and how to best use them. Furthermore, the books details how best to earn the trust of each phoenix in their environment and what one might need to accomplish these tasks.  
'How Not to Get Eaten by Various Phoenixes; A Possibly Useless Handbook for The Aspiring Phoenix Master' is a brilliant book for everyone. It contains great anekdotes about adventuring and heaps of information about phoenixes, all sprinkled with a healthy amount of humour. Definitely recommend this to the casual reader and the serious adventurer.
- Markus Bronzebeard

  Read book. Book good. Me much laughing. Like his humour.
- Barnabas Stripepaw

  Anyone who is looking for a nice read wins with this book. I especially applaud the author that they care for the audience. The safety section, while long, clearly show the dangers of this trip and warn the reader about the possible obstacles they can face.
- Maya Trunbar
Table of Contents
Item type
Book / Document
225 grams (0.5 lbs)
12 x 18 (4.7" x 7.2")
Base Price
Where to Buy
Kobold or Kohome
There are two versions of the booklet on the market: an old, hand-made version and a more mass produced version. While both are very similar in looks and feel, there are a few minor differences that makes the hand-made booklet stand out a little more. The most prominent difference is the lettering of the text inside. The old version uses a stamp from the early days of bookprinting for all the letters, giving it a much older yet elegant appearance.   The handbook primarily consists of foxed parchment paper. Thin strings of sackcloth binds little bundles of sheet together while also strenghtening the back. On the front and the back, a sturdy yet slim wooden planks form the bookcase. Beautiful green leather encapsules the entire cover, giving it the perfect and durable finish to be taken along on an adventure.

Cover image: Hesli Banner by ShadowPhoenix


Author's Notes

Many thanks to Verti for coming up with the name for this handbook: 'How Not To Get Eaten by Various Phoenixes; A Possibly Useless Handbook for The Aspiring Phoenix Master'.

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Dec 10, 2022 17:03 by Aster Blackwell

This is so much fun, I love the reviews at the end!

Dec 15, 2022 11:41

Thank you! ^^

What do you want to discover in Computer Adventures?
Dec 10, 2022 21:23

What a fun article. I love the reviews.
  "Don't take advice from someone who hasn't experienced the hazards of a phoenix for themselves."
"Exactly. Listen to Johnny Teuwilliget; he knows what's up ever since he got burned. Ain't that right, Johnny," she says to a jar.

Dec 15, 2022 11:42

Thank you! ^^   That quote is absolute gold x3

What do you want to discover in Computer Adventures?
Jan 10, 2023 04:24

I want a copy of this book, it may be useless, possibly. I still want it!

Jan 21, 2023 12:03

While it may be useless to some, I am under the impression that most would make good use of this book. And the reviews are hilarious! I had a good laugh with this article, very good work!

Hoo~ Hoo
Jan 28, 2023 08:42

Useless or not, the reviews make me want to buy the book, and the article was enjoyable to read.