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Baah. I beseech thee.

Baah! Thaaank the heavens thou hast returned, Baaalthaaazaaar! May thy fields forever be fertile and may thy beard grow'th greatly!
— King Aahaahwuh to Baalthaazaar, Duke of Baahcelona

Basic Information


It's a goat. A talking goat. Some of 'em got magic. Got any more questions for me, bub? Hmm? Frogs? Oh yeah, frogs scare the heck out of 'em. Shame too, Goatworld's full of 'em but the little fellas don't wanna spook anyone.

Genetics and Reproduction

Woah! Some things are private, man. Mind your business, jeez.

Dietary Needs and Habits

Goat's eat a variety of foods. Actually, they eat anything really. Grass. Leaves. Swords. You name it, they'll devour it. This act of eating created the Deadlands. A wasteland North of the Iron-Goat Empire's lands, completely void of plant life. It is where young magi go to train, so that they don't damage infrastructure with magical accidents.

Additional Information

Perception and Sensory Capabilities

Some of the goats, referred to as "Runehorn's, have telekinetic abilities received from the planet's natural mana. Their horns have blue. glowing runes on them. Otherwise, they are ordinary goats with speech capabilities.

Civilization and Culture

Major Organizations

Ahahwuh's Order
Named after King Ahahwuh, fourth of his name. Their soldiers wear knight's armour and live in castles.
The Iron-Goat Empire
Sworn enemies of Ahahwuh's Order. They value viciousness and savagery. They make use of 'Goatlems' metal constructs that they use in battle


The Goats of Goatworld have always existed. Scholars have theorised that their very existence began at the exact same time as Goatworld itself and is linked with the life-force of the planet, but there is no true way to be sure. Once Goatkind lived in harmony, building a great civilisation in the Livelands (now the Deadlands). But there's always a divide. That is the nature of Goatkind. Kaah, Queen of the Iron Goats believed in a conquered world, where the plant-life was burned and shredded and used for food, and Ahahwuh believed in sustainability and preserving nature for their children.   Ahahwuh's faction split from the others, becoming Ahahwuh's Order, dedicated to honor and sustainability. Meanwhile the Iron-Goat Empire kept devouring the plants of the land they lived in, killing it. Now the Iron-Goat Empire claims their lands, moving from place to place and devouring it as a mark for their Empire.
Scientific Name
Capra Intelligenti
Immortal, they cannot die.
Mood Music

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27 Aug, 2018 10:36

This is great! I love the humorous style you've written the article in. Is the Iron Goat Empire expected to triumph over Ahawuh's order?

27 Aug, 2018 10:41

Only time will tell. Ahahwuh's magi are still finding ways to counteract the Goatlems, they're a real problem in battle.

11 Jan, 2019 18:43

Are the Runehorns going to get their own article? It's a bit confusing when you add at the end that the Runehorns have speaking capabilities, it feels like it's supposed to be special but in the beginning, it says that all goats can speak? If they cannot die then why are they afraid of the frogs? If more Goats are born but they don't die then will the world be overpopulated soon? Funny article! <3

12 Jan, 2019 01:55

The whole Runehorns speaking thing is a bit of confusion from my old notes, originally they were supposed to be the only one's that spoke. I never actually thought about why they would be afraid of frogs. I guess maybe they look too much like angry grapes and that might make the goat feel threatened. Overpopulation is definetely a threat that they are unsure of how to handle.

12 Jan, 2019 03:30

Ah, I see. But they can all speak now? ...hehe, angry grapes XD yeah. <3

12 Jan, 2019 04:14

They can all speak, yeah :D

12 Jan, 2019 17:55

Nice :3