APRA: Anomalous Parks & Recreation Areas
Now. I hear you, "Bin, why are you releasing ungodly horrors into the world?" Well, I'd say that our lawyers will be with you shortly, that's supposed to be classified information. It is very, very expensive to contain a world-ending horror from the world. So maybe the local-ecosystem-ending ones can be let go, it can't hurt for us to make a little profit along the way too, can it?
That, my friends, is why I propose to you APRA— a less clandestine subsidiary of our own Anomalous Containment Foundation. The public will love it! And there's nothing like seeing those bug men suffer when toddlers tap on the glass...I'll never forgive them for biting off my second ex-wife's left foot...
Now, I know you'll approve this idea because you have to— and hey, maybe your kids will get a kick out of some of the less horrible spots we release to the public. Ever watch the undead bodies of past presidents play football? They're tripping and splitting themselves open constantly. Hilarious. Maybe not that one— but there are plenty of kid-friendly venues I've got planned. Like an island made entirely of candy that's poisonous! The kids'll love it. Alright, meeting over, get to work.
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