Ilm and the Everlasting Cheese
An oral tale passed down in the dwarven societies of the Kor Mountain Range areas detailed one absurd scenario involving the dwarven patron and god of catastrophes, Kraite, orchestrated by, Ilm, the god of fate. Dwarves have often pointed to the tale as to why they lack a general sense of deference for Ilm, more so than any other deity, and for why they hold dwarven traditions of cheese making in particular esteem, as well as a culture-wide distrust of imported dairy products.
"Why bless the animals?" the trickster asked. "Would the mortals not gain more from blessings to the land and soil?"
The harvest goddess responded, "Some would say so. But bountiful animals may provide more to them than the boons of one season's harvest."
"Oh?" Ilm continued, intrigued, "Are the livestock slaughtered for their meats more oft than not?"
"Often, yes," the goddess replies, "Though not always. Chickens are kept to lay eggs. Cows provide milk which they drink and use to make foods like butter and cheese."
"Would the mortals not gain more from blessings of such food instead of blessing the animals which must be worked to be turned into such food?"
"That would not teach mortals how to subsist on their own merits, Ilm."
"The world could be fed with cheese, Lady Terevi!"
"Ilm, that is not sole the intention of my blessings."
However, the trickster had already left.
Ilm then visited Aizur's realm, carrying with him a wheel of cheese.
"Goddess Aizur! I have a request!" he declared.
The mother of magic regarded the trickster like a parent would a child. "Your excitement has piqued my curiosity, so I shall listen, trickster Ilm."
"I wish for magic to make this cheese last forever. No matter how much is eaten, it shall always return to whole. It shall fill and fill, so as to feed the world, but never will it run out."
"A strange request," the goddess mused. "Why would I grant it?"
"How about a wager?" Ilm summoned a coin in his hand with a grin.
"That wager is ill-fated, cunning Ilm. How about instead, a trade? I shall enchant that...cheese for you, in exchange for that bit of fate that would have been spent on that wager instead?"
Without missing a beat, the trickster god held up the cheese instead. "A fair trade!"
The mother of magic thus granted the trickster his request and enchanted the cheese wheel, and he bid her farewell before returning to the realm of mortals.
When Ilm returned, he searched for the best place to test the eternal cheese.
"Where could I find a place to test if this cheese wheel could feed the world?" the trickster asked himself. Though, the thought lasted only a short while before he headed to the north, where the clouds swirled and the earth rumbled.
As the trickster appeared before the god of catastrophes, Kraite bellowed, "What brings you to my realms, trickster? Speak swift before the winds blast you whence you came!"
"Kraite! In all your might, I find myself in awe and offering a gift in your honor." Ilm offered the everlasting cheese to the tumultuous Kraite.
"Strange gift it is that you have brought, trickster Ilm," the god of catastrophes declared. "Yet might shall not render the absence of gratitude. I, Kraite, accept and offer my hospitality in turn."
The trickster grinned. "It is a fine delicacy of the mortal realms, mighty Kraite, and I would wish to witness your consumption of it."
The god of catastrophes regarded the trickster god before nodding. "I extend an invitation to my realm til the time of the full consumption of your gift then, Ilm."
"I am certainly honored, most gracious and mighty Kraite!"
So then Ilm remained in the mountainous realm of Kraite who was served the cheese in generous portions. Yet, the everlasting cheese wheel never lessened. The days passed into weeks, then months, and Ilm remained in the realm, conducting mischief with free reign.
Kraite demanded to know how much cheese was left of the gift, only to find that the wheel was as full as it was when the trickster had first offered it. Finally wise to the deceit, Kraite felt enraged but still not willing to break his hospitality and devised a plan to expose the ruse of the other god.
With Ilm present, Kraite made a gesture for the cheese wheel, "Trickster Ilm, your gift has brought much to me and my realm. So, now, I ask you to partake in its bounties with me."
Ilm, unsure of what the god had to gain, agreed, "Of course, my kind host!"
So, the two gods sat to a meal of cheese with the wheel present at the table. Yet, it never grew less, as the wheel's enchantment made it so.
"Strange that your gift never ceases, Ilm."
"Yes! Fine that you bring it up, mighty Kraite, for this wheel is a gift which shall keep giving!"
When the trickster Ilm grinned at Kraite, the blunt admission sent the god of catastrophe into a rage. Though, he did not lash out at Ilm but instead took the cheese wheel and in one swoop swallowed the thing whole. With the gift utterly consumed, Kraite then banished Ilm from his realm, at last, done with his schemes.
Removed from Kraite's realm as he was, Ilm took only pleasure in seeing the everlasting cheese work such wonders for himself and the trick he pulled over Kraite. Laughing, he went about his way, content to not hear of his gift until much later.
Over time, the cheese wheel remained in the stomach of the great god. While Kraite did not require sustenance as mortals do, he still took pleasure in the indulgences of good food and wine. The cheese, everlasting and everpresent in his belly, gradually made all foods impalatable to the god.
Word of this happening reached Ilm, who took it upon himself to relish in the effects of his scheming. One day, when Kraite went to survey the great seas, Ilm sent a lone bird as messenger with a slice of cheese and a note for the god of catastrophes. The note said: "May this quell your queasiness."
Kraite took the presentation with a great anger that shook the rocks and seas around him. In his fury, he regurgitated the cheese wheel and tossed it into the tumultuous waters. Ilm once again took great merriment in the distance.
The trickster god, though disappointed to see the cheese wheel not feed the entire world, gained much pleasure from the farce with Kraite. The cheese became a source of sourness for the god of catastrophes.
Ilm would occasionally search for the cheese wheel, flipping his coin to see if fate would be on his side. The coin would always land on its side, and the trickster could not help but think of that sliver of fate he had traded for the everlasting cheese. Yet, it did not weigh on him too much, for he trusted that it would find its way to someplace that could use what it provided.
Ilm and the Everlasting Cheese
During one harvest's cycle, Ilm witnessed Terevi blessing the livestock of a village that had been."Why bless the animals?" the trickster asked. "Would the mortals not gain more from blessings to the land and soil?"
The harvest goddess responded, "Some would say so. But bountiful animals may provide more to them than the boons of one season's harvest."
"Oh?" Ilm continued, intrigued, "Are the livestock slaughtered for their meats more oft than not?"
"Often, yes," the goddess replies, "Though not always. Chickens are kept to lay eggs. Cows provide milk which they drink and use to make foods like butter and cheese."
"Would the mortals not gain more from blessings of such food instead of blessing the animals which must be worked to be turned into such food?"
"That would not teach mortals how to subsist on their own merits, Ilm."
"The world could be fed with cheese, Lady Terevi!"
"Ilm, that is not sole the intention of my blessings."
However, the trickster had already left.
Ilm then visited Aizur's realm, carrying with him a wheel of cheese.
"Goddess Aizur! I have a request!" he declared.
The mother of magic regarded the trickster like a parent would a child. "Your excitement has piqued my curiosity, so I shall listen, trickster Ilm."
"I wish for magic to make this cheese last forever. No matter how much is eaten, it shall always return to whole. It shall fill and fill, so as to feed the world, but never will it run out."
"A strange request," the goddess mused. "Why would I grant it?"
"How about a wager?" Ilm summoned a coin in his hand with a grin.
"That wager is ill-fated, cunning Ilm. How about instead, a trade? I shall enchant that...cheese for you, in exchange for that bit of fate that would have been spent on that wager instead?"
Without missing a beat, the trickster god held up the cheese instead. "A fair trade!"
The mother of magic thus granted the trickster his request and enchanted the cheese wheel, and he bid her farewell before returning to the realm of mortals.
When Ilm returned, he searched for the best place to test the eternal cheese.
"Where could I find a place to test if this cheese wheel could feed the world?" the trickster asked himself. Though, the thought lasted only a short while before he headed to the north, where the clouds swirled and the earth rumbled.
As the trickster appeared before the god of catastrophes, Kraite bellowed, "What brings you to my realms, trickster? Speak swift before the winds blast you whence you came!"
"Kraite! In all your might, I find myself in awe and offering a gift in your honor." Ilm offered the everlasting cheese to the tumultuous Kraite.
"Strange gift it is that you have brought, trickster Ilm," the god of catastrophes declared. "Yet might shall not render the absence of gratitude. I, Kraite, accept and offer my hospitality in turn."
The trickster grinned. "It is a fine delicacy of the mortal realms, mighty Kraite, and I would wish to witness your consumption of it."
The god of catastrophes regarded the trickster god before nodding. "I extend an invitation to my realm til the time of the full consumption of your gift then, Ilm."
"I am certainly honored, most gracious and mighty Kraite!"
So then Ilm remained in the mountainous realm of Kraite who was served the cheese in generous portions. Yet, the everlasting cheese wheel never lessened. The days passed into weeks, then months, and Ilm remained in the realm, conducting mischief with free reign.
Kraite demanded to know how much cheese was left of the gift, only to find that the wheel was as full as it was when the trickster had first offered it. Finally wise to the deceit, Kraite felt enraged but still not willing to break his hospitality and devised a plan to expose the ruse of the other god.
With Ilm present, Kraite made a gesture for the cheese wheel, "Trickster Ilm, your gift has brought much to me and my realm. So, now, I ask you to partake in its bounties with me."
Ilm, unsure of what the god had to gain, agreed, "Of course, my kind host!"
So, the two gods sat to a meal of cheese with the wheel present at the table. Yet, it never grew less, as the wheel's enchantment made it so.
"Strange that your gift never ceases, Ilm."
"Yes! Fine that you bring it up, mighty Kraite, for this wheel is a gift which shall keep giving!"
When the trickster Ilm grinned at Kraite, the blunt admission sent the god of catastrophe into a rage. Though, he did not lash out at Ilm but instead took the cheese wheel and in one swoop swallowed the thing whole. With the gift utterly consumed, Kraite then banished Ilm from his realm, at last, done with his schemes.
Removed from Kraite's realm as he was, Ilm took only pleasure in seeing the everlasting cheese work such wonders for himself and the trick he pulled over Kraite. Laughing, he went about his way, content to not hear of his gift until much later.
Over time, the cheese wheel remained in the stomach of the great god. While Kraite did not require sustenance as mortals do, he still took pleasure in the indulgences of good food and wine. The cheese, everlasting and everpresent in his belly, gradually made all foods impalatable to the god.
Word of this happening reached Ilm, who took it upon himself to relish in the effects of his scheming. One day, when Kraite went to survey the great seas, Ilm sent a lone bird as messenger with a slice of cheese and a note for the god of catastrophes. The note said: "May this quell your queasiness."
Kraite took the presentation with a great anger that shook the rocks and seas around him. In his fury, he regurgitated the cheese wheel and tossed it into the tumultuous waters. Ilm once again took great merriment in the distance.
The trickster god, though disappointed to see the cheese wheel not feed the entire world, gained much pleasure from the farce with Kraite. The cheese became a source of sourness for the god of catastrophes.
Ilm would occasionally search for the cheese wheel, flipping his coin to see if fate would be on his side. The coin would always land on its side, and the trickster could not help but think of that sliver of fate he had traded for the everlasting cheese. Yet, it did not weigh on him too much, for he trusted that it would find its way to someplace that could use what it provided.
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