This page is an abbreviated summary of how different races and cultures in Ysireth conceptualize their most typical gender roles and sexual orientations. Most of them are flawed or limited in some way. This does not reflect the author's understanding or opinion of the vast spectrum of gender identities and sexual orientations. :)
"Assumed" "Default" Sexual Orientations by Culture
For the purposes of these summaries, I will be using the terms 'bisexual' and 'pansexual' very specifically to mean 'attracted to 2 or more gender identities' and 'attracted to most or all gender identities', respectively. This is not the sole definition of these terms in the queer community, nor am I trying to claim this definition is superior to others - I'm just using it for clarity here.
Sol'Aeldvari
Sol'Aeldvaren culture is passionate, romantic, and sexual. Physical affection in public is absolutely commonplace and acceptable, though more intense sexual activities are regulated to private quarters. Poetic declarations of love, devotion, and adoration are a part of standard romantic practices; sol'Aeldvari are often called "hot-hearted" for their quickness to fall into lust and love with each other. Relatedly, a significant percentage of sun elves are lifelong polyamorists in both courting and committed partnerships; an elf's participation in polyamory should not be presumed in either direction. Family trees are usually robust and many-branched with non-bloodline partners being as integrated and "adopted" as any of those who bear children.
For sol'Aeldvari, the assumed orientation of other sol'Aeldvari is pansexual until stated otherwise. There is no shortage of gender identities and expressions in sun elf culture, and the average individual tends to be open to any of them in a potential partner. If one expresses that they are not pansexual by declining interest in a certain gender or sex, the next level of assumption is that they are bisexual; monosexual (whether heterosexual or homosexual) individuals are the least common "major" sexuality in sun elves.
Lun'Aeldvari
Lun'Aeldvaren culture has a set of layered and nuanced social etiquettes around a profound but performative romantic nature, while expressions of sexual interest and acts are kept very private. Sex and sexuality are not taboo but simply considered to be intensely personal and so not for display or discussion in a public forum. This has resulted in a tradition of romance that relies on subtlety and tact to offer and establish interest in a potential partner, making conversation more of a chess game or ballroom dance than a frank conversation. (Despite this convolution, gender identities of those involved do not have a noticeable impact on the process of courtship.) Moon elves tend to prioritize one romantic relationship, rather than engage in polyamory, but they maintain many deep friendships throughout their lives that can match or surpass their romantic relationship in emotional intimacy and mutual dedication. There is a swath of "romantic" etiquette that is frequently co-opted for friendships and non-romantic partnerships. Oddly, family trees tend to be extremely literal and only include blood relatives of a given individual, with little to no mention of lifelong partners of family members.
For lun'Aeldvari, the assumed orientation of their fellows is biromantic and demisexual. There is a prolonged period of courtship before any statements of unconditional affection or attraction, let alone devotion, can be shared without causing a stir of "too much, too soon." Most lun'Aeldvari are presumed to have some preferences in their potential partner's gender, and monosexual individuals are usually more common than pansexuals. Physical intimacy usually occurs only after a personal, emotional relationship has been established between individuals. A mutually-agreed-upon "one night stand" may be surprising but is not taboo, whereas an affair followed by willful neglect or misleading intentions is absolutely shameful. Sex is considered deeply intimate on a personal as well as physical level and is treated by most as a delicacy to be protected against carelessness and accidental harm.
Gran'Duovari
Gran'Duovaren society is typically demiromantic and grey-asexual - at least, based upon what is publicly commonplace and acceptable. Excessive displays of affection (whether romantic or sexual in nature) are frowned upon in public settings and often even in semi-private situations when in the presence of friends and family uninvolved in the relationship. Gran'Duovari tend to verbally downplay the intensity or extent of their emotional involvement with others, considering actions to speak more loudly than declarations of love. An attempt by non-Duovari to suss out the web of relationships by inciting someone to protect or defend a loved one will fail; gran'Duovari in stable relationships implicitly trust their partners to be able to handle themselves or to call for assistance should they need it.
Gran'Duovari have one of the most complex family structures of the commonest races, being traditionally
quadgamous and having extremely dense family trees as a result. Heritage and inheritance is considered social and cultural, more than by blood, and the intricacy of gran'Duovaren relationships is often incomprehensible to those outside the clans. To simplify gender identities for the sake of an example: a "parental quad" is a mother, her wife, her husband, and her husband's husband. Gran'Duovaren marriages are contractually binding politically, socially, and personally, and they govern inheritance and the "official" four parents of a given child. (And yes, divorce is also an acceptable process that can exponentially complicate family trees and inheritance.) For stone dwarves, marriage is a deliberate commitment not only to a relationship with an individual but to that individual's family, including past and future children. One may have romantic, sexual, and/or lifelong partners that are not bound by lawful marriage; these are seen as different than married partners but not taboo.
As a result of their family structure, gran'Duovari assume each other to be bisexual and demiromantic. One's position on the allosexual-to-asexual spectrum is, notably, not assumed in any direction; for all the fuss about family trees, plenty of dwarves are aromantic and/or asexual and do not marry at any point in their lives. Additionally, many other dwarves who fall on the asexual side of the spectrum will choose to marry but not bear/sire children directly, helping parent their partner's children instead.
Tem'Duovari
Tem'Duovaren culture is quietly but genuinely romantic, typically monogamous, and has a remarkably low rate of "assume someone's default sexual orientation." In percentage of population, tem'Duovari are usually not pansexual, so having a preference (as either bisexual or monosexual) is common enough that other tem'Duovari simply ask if a given gender is of interest to another. Public displays of affection and devotion are common and accepted, though public displays of physical intimacy are frowned upon (yes, even kissing). Tem'Duovari place a significant emphasis on one's personal emotional relationships, which tend to be few but deep. While gran'Duovari have expansive and intricate family trees, tem'Duovari are much simpler, with smaller family units and more direct bloodline-based relations between generations.
Hymvari
From an Aeldvaren viewpoint, Hymvari have simply too many overlapping cultural and social identities to comfortably generalize
anything about them. A single hymvar may come from a bisexual family line in a monosexual region, but participate in a line of work or study with a tendency towards pansexuality, then follow a philosophy of demisexuality and make a promise of asexuality for political reasons. For non-hymvari, it is best to assume nothing at all about an individual hymvar until specifically told otherwise. (There is, unfortunately, a common derogatory opinion of hymvaren dedication to reproduction, especially given their comparatively short lifespans and the number of children one may bear or sire over the course of their adult lives.)
For hymvari themselves, many fall prey to the common line of thought that other hymvari share their particular preferences and cultural expectations. Those who are more widely-traveled or educated, however, do their best to make no assumptions about others and ask, rather than guess, when the subject comes up. Hymvari are usually fairly willing to be straightforward and honest about their personal preferences and the societal and cultural influences upon those preferences, provided the information is requested politely and in a safe setting.
Most Common Gender Roles in Cultures
Sol'Aeldvari
Most elves are matriarchal, but sol'Aeldvari are "more patriarchal" enough that they really don't have gender roles. They've reached a good neutral ground where everyone's just a fire poet.
Lun'Aeldvari
Moon elves have two genders: "woman" and "elf." In this bad summary, "elf" is the default elf-ness required to be a lun'Aeldvari, and "woman" contains an extra layer of identity, characteristics, and responsibilities that woman-identified lun'Aeldvari bear. (No, men do not have a separate-but-extra set of characteristics. Yes, lun'Aeldvari are probably the most matriarchal elvish race.)
Gran'Duovari
They really don't have gender roles. Truly. Everyone is short, muscular, beardy, and no-nonsense.
Tem'Duovari
Tem'Duovari do have a fairly persistent male/female dichotomy throughout their societies. Men have the role of "provider," venturing outside the home and clan to hunt, forage, trade, and travel. Women have the role of "maker," staying within the community to craft, build, farm, and defend. Both sexes have hands-on parental roles, since both stay home and care for the infant with the support of their communities, and when the child is old enough, it will accompany and learn from both equally (regardless of its sex).
This dichotomy does result in many firmly transgender individuals who refuse one social role in lieu of the other; even adult children who still live with their parents are considered to not be part of the male/female role distribution and will contribute and participate in whatever areas they can and choose to do. It is not taboo for a woman to do a "man's work" or vice versa on occasion; women are not forbidden from traveling, and men are not forbidden from farming; they are simply a minority in the role, with all of the challenges that may bring. (A social/personal gender marker is considered to be wanderlust vs. homebody, which is a frequent reference point for transgender identities.)
Hymvari
Gender roles? In
this economy?
(Hymvari have gender roles to some extent in most of their microcultures, and those roles and genders vary so widely that it's useless to try to summarize or generalize them. If you've met one hymvar, you've met one hymvar. Assume nothing about any other hymvari.)
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