Etrenga Yatt'reng: Yattau's Finest

"You think we provide lodging here? Sir, we make our own ale; think of the smell!"

Image cropped from Adriaen van Ostade's Tavern Scene, which is public domain artwork.

There's a Tuhran man at the bar. He was born in Yattau, and he's known no other city. He sings as he works in a mellow baritone: ballads from his childhood, patriotic songs, drinking songs, and tunes of his own. He keeps an inventory of the fine spirits behind him, ready to turn around and give anyone advice on the night's festivities. He knows the best places in Yattau for anything, but the best place of all is right here!

When you walk into Yattau's Finest, you are greeted by a giant waitress who fills the doorway. She's a kauaru come from the Wlitowai town of Tereta, just across the strait. She wanted to explore the world, but the hostile relations between Wlitowa and Tuhra means she'll never go back to see her family again. As sad as that is for her, she at least has a roof over her head and a bit of pocket change. She'd shake your hand, but she's currently carrying four separate pints for the patrons. She doesn't want to have another spilling incident, you know.

There's a werai there, too. She does a little bit of everything: serving, inventory management, dusting. Her passion, though, comes from the chemistry of ale-making. She's devoted her life to replicating Tusso's formula. She's not quite there yet, but she thinks she's just a few steps away from a breakthrough. She's been a few steps away for the past several years, but that hasn't stopped her yet!

Purpose / Function

The building for Yattau's Finest was originally intended for storage. As trade goods came from Tereta in the west, merchants needed a place to keep their imports between journeys. In addition, the city needed a place to maintain their food supply, in case of a particularly poor crop season. It failed on both accounts. Without adequate security or administration, trading goods would end up missing or severely damaged. Further, the humidity of the area in which the building was located caused the food inside to age even worse than normal. A separate building was constructed on the outskirts of the city, and the building was sold.

The new owner was a private entrepreneur by the name of Tusso Selris. He had complained to the town government that there was no good eating in Yattau in the late hours of the night, but his complaints had fallen on deaf ears. What's more, the old city sector had at that point long since fallen into decay. "Give me a small property," he thought, "and I'll revive both the business sector and the nightlife of Yattau!"

There is no lodging in Yattau's Finest; the building isn't big enough. The sound of customers eating and the smell of hops fermenting would be enough to drive any potential guest insane. Even so, Tusso established good connections with the local hospital. He'd send wandering travelers there, and they'd send their guests to his place for food in return. The symbiosis cost him nothing but still brought his establishment a great amount of business!

Alterations

The building cordoned off three grain silos in a small room to the side of the building. Tusso was tempted to demolish them entirely, but he then realized that a few small modifications could turn them into fermentation tanks. He coated them with tar and filled them with water, yeast, and all the other ingredients necessary for craft ale. Tusso didn't even like alcohol; he just saw an opportunity and took advantage of it. For his first time, thanks in part to the lack of craft breweries in town, the spirit was met with popularity and surprisingly high praise. Tusso capitalized on his success; his foolhardy experimental recipe became the most well-kept trade secret in all Yattau. His small diner earned a reputation as "Yattau's Finest," and he adopted the namesake rather quickly.

Tusso had a long bar installed in the back of the room, with a host of cabinets built behind it. In the latter he would store imported Wlitowan wines from across the channel, in as many variants as he could acquire. Local produce supplied him with meats, cheeses, and vegetables; everything necessary for a deli. He served sandwiches as well as fresh fish from the market. He secretly preferred crafting sandwiches to crafting alcohol, but he never let anyone else know. Local historians only found out from a few choice journal entries that they discovered after his passing!

Along with the building, Tusso acquired a great amount of unclaimed cargo from the building's storage period. Tusso repurposed the furniture and crafted the other wooden products into additional furniture. Most of the rest was allocated for decoration. Strewn across the walls were old swords, odd uniforms, and all manner of tacky knickknacks. It gave Yattau's Finest a unique charm, though similar establishments wouldn't dare repeat the process.

History

Yattau's Finest was a great critical and commercial success. Business and nightlife in Yattau were not improved, but what little nightlife there was centered around that small diner. The only problem was the diner's prospects. So caught up with running a business was Tusso that he never married. He took no one for his apprentice, and his employees usually didn't stay in his service for long. When Tusso died unexpectedly in his sleep, then, there was a local crisis in Yattau. Perhaps out of shock or habit, townsfolk continued to frequent the establishment for weeks. The servers and chefs continued to work there, and the business continued to operate. When the front door was slammed too abruptly and fell off, though, it became clear that someone needed to lead the operation.

After public outcry, the very town government that had ignored Tusso's pleas chose to adopt Tusso's work as a local (eventually national) landmark. Ownership was passed over to the Gra'estar of Yattau, who passed management on to the most experienced employee there. The door was replaced, but no elements of Yattau's Finest were ever improved. Tusso took his secret recipe with him to the grave; the successor recipes were adequate but never equivalent. Local pride kept the customers silent over the noticeable drop in quality, though the patronage fell year by year.

Tuhra's wars against Keyrit and Wlitowa brought a strong semblance of national pride all across Tuhra. Demand was high for places of historical significance to the people of Tuhra, and Yattau's Finest was one of the foremost. In an effort to save its dying business, Yattau's Finest bought into the national politics of the time, running directly counter to the duties and policies of the Gra'estar. It offered discounts to soldiers and members of the garrison, and business returned for a brief time. When the war ended, though, business ground to a halt, propped up only by the patronage of the city council. The business and nightlife of Yattau returned to what it always was. The people, however, were grateful for the small glimmer of glory that they held for a fleeting moment.

Tourism

Yattau's Finest has its own drinking song, fashioned during its Golden Age. No one knows exactly who wrote it; the patron was likely drunk while writing it and couldn't remember writing it the following morning. Even so, it stands as a song that makes the diner unique! It was originally sung in Tuhrau, but it has the special unique Yattau blend of Wlitowai and Keyrityi words.

Opadj! Opadj! Eyeke opadj!
A dulea possate, dulea badj!
Opadj! Opadj! Werwosse etring?
Abur pat, keyako, ahiango ahing?

Opadj! Opadj! Korroto opadj!
Akassi-kossoa, Senbat kera nadj?
Opadj! Opadj! Ivigor werai,
Abur pat, keyako, owyeke karai.

Opadj! Opadj! Weraiyo opadj!
Sotitak tastatseng, tara singka, dadj?
Opadj! Opadj! Beyarko lora,
Abur pat, keyako, issango piska.

Opadj! Opadj! Terau ter opadj!
Es tutaya bengtsatu ere ekadj!
Opadj! Opadj! Koi ter tuhrayo!
Abur pat, keyako, oango ero.

There is often much mirth as the considerably drunk singer tries to pronounce the word "tostatseng" in the third verse. It is said that the singer who can get that line on the first try gets a free round. A translation has been provided in Traveler's Tongue:

The drink! The drink! I fear the drink!
The horrid addiction, the horrible stink!
The drink! The drink! Who'd fall for its charm?
Well maybe, just maybe, a little won't harm.

The drink! The drink! I loathe the drink!
The bittersweet taste! Oh, how low did I sink?
The drink! The drink! Well, now that I'm here,
Well maybe, just maybe, there's naught more to fear.

The drink! The drink! I stand the drink!
I'm tasting the subtleties. Hm, is that zinc?
The drink! The drink! I'll have to explore.
So maybe, just maybe, I'll have a bit more.

The drink! The drink! I love the drink!
I love it so much that I can't even think!
The drink! The drink! It's wondrous, I said!
Well maybe, just maybe, I'll go off to bed.

Type

Pub / Tavern / Restaurant

Ruling/Owning Rank

Gerai'aru: Garrison Command