Have ya ever found yaself on the road, a cold night ahead, the fire dipped low, and all ya can think of is a fine roast quail and a strong pint back home? What good will ya be dreaming of that fine feast when some nasty bugger sneaks upmto ya and puts a blade 'tween yer ribs? Well fear not, I, Bilgen Brewstaff, have collected and perfected a fine selection of quality foodstuffs that ye can prepare on the road, tha likes of which will rival tha finest inn ye may come across.
The following is a selection from the book.
Roast Venison Haunch with Honey and Tubers
(Personally I like a good piece o' deer, but elk or moose will work. 'Tis all deer anyways aye?)
Requires:
1 haunch of venison. (Any piece will do if ya be anything like meself, but the back quarters often seem ta be a more favorite if ye be in mixed company)
1 pint honey.
Tubers. (Any will do ye fine. Potaters be me personal choice, but if ye have none ye can always forage for a nice set of burdock or radishes. Moradin even blessed me once ta fine a mess of wild carrots that made even tha Gnome we had cry.)
When settin' out for tha day, take the venison ya have and coat it in some of tha honey ye have. Wrap it tight in some space leathers ye might have with ya (Bag o' Holding could work, never tried it meself but why not says I?). Let it sit for ta whole day whilst ye be on tha road so tha honey can good and soak into tha meat. When ye settle in for the end o' tha day and ye built ye fire up nice anna hot, take tha haunch and set it ta start cooking o'er the fire. (Should take narry an hour or so, depending on if ya like some blood still in yer meat.) Take tha tubers ye have anna thro them inta a pot with a little water from one o' the louts who be sharing the meal with ya. Add the rest o' the honey, and put that directly under the meat. (Canna be wasting any drippings now). Keep that stirring for a while till tha tubers get soft enough ye can cut 'em with a knife as easy as ya please, and make sure ya boil off all tha water. Ye should be set now with a fine sticky mess of good and a half roasted hunk o' meat. Set them off to tha side, but keep poppin' them on the fire e'ery so often ta keep tha honey nice an sticky. Once tha meat is tha way ya like it, cut off a hunk for e'eryone and enjoy!
Elderberry Ale
Requires:
1 two gallon barrel.
6 handfuls of Elderberries.
Yeast. (Any will do ye but if'n ya can get ya hands on some brewing yeast it'll make it all tha better)
Water. (Enough ta fill tha barrel almost to tha top)
Honey, sugar, anything sweet really.
This is really a better idea ta make if ye will be longer spent on tha road, tha further ya go, tha better it'll be.
Take tha water, elderberries, sweet stuffs, and yeast and bring it ta just under a boil, then, put it all in tha barrel before ya leave for the road. Seal it up good an' tight, an' then head out. Give tha whole mix a good week at the least to slosh about in ya pack, an' sleep with it as close as yer own kin at night. After that, crack it open and enjoy a nice cup of fine ale. (Now, depending on who ya be travelling with, some folk may want ya ta strain the feckin' elderberries out. Now between you an' me, I canna think as to why someone would want that, but some folk just dont as know what be good for 'em. I say, give 'em a wide grin and let 'em suffer fer having poor taste, but if ya are so inclined as to
NEED ta please 'em, a run through with an old sock will do jus' tha trick for ye.)
Dwarven Road Hardtack
Requires:
1 pound of hogs fat.
1 pound of flour. (Barley is the best fer this, and i'll fight any man who says its not, including ya)
Any leftovers.
Who doesn't love a good bit of hardtack eh?
This is probably tha easiest and the best meal I have found and put in this scribble chamber of a tome. Ta start, take the pound of fat and flour and mix it up into a nice doughy mess. (I've found that a helmet or shield make tha best items ta do this in, but suit yaself if ya use somethin' differ). Add in anything else ye might've found or have left from another meal; veggies, meat chunks, what e'er ye have at tha time. Take it and mold it inta small cakes, easy 'nough ta eat in one hand, and set em by tha fire ta harden up, usually takes about ten minutes or so. Onces they don't fully crumble in ya hands, enjoy em! (Best part is that they keep for weeks, so ya can enjoy 'em again and again as much as ye like!)
For a small article, you do a well enough job packing in very useful and clear information. Given the next article I'm writing is also based off this prompt (culinary recipes), it's very reassuring! You've got a lot of room to work with in expanding the article, including Bilgen's journal, which leads me to one of my few pointers: You could definitely add a lot more information on Bilgen's travels. What lands did he travel to? What unique experiences did he have trying to uncover these culinary secrets? Another point to make, "Roast Venison," sounds a little out of character for someone who doesn't know how to spell "the" right. You could maybe change this part of the name to something more "nicknamey" or just remove it. In the second paragraph, you mention some people thought he had, "gone a slight touched." What? I understand worlds could have slang, but I don't know if touched means crazy or optimistic or successful. I'd suggest adding the definition to the sidebar. Other things is just common spellchecking. For instance, in the first sentence, "Most Dwarves doesn't actually write," should be, "Most Dwarves don't actually write," since you're referencing a plural source. Great article! Have a great summer camp!
Thank you for pointing those out. I forget sometimes when i write an article on my phone to go back and see if my massive thumbs made any huge mistakes haha. I also like your point about the Roast Venison, and I will update the reasons as to why that is the name lol