Mother Fluffing War Hippos


A typical hippo can sustain speeds of 25 kilometers per hour with bursts of up to 50 kilometers per hour, on land and are about 30% as fast in the water. Well bred war hippos can often sustain speeds of 30 kilometers per hour, achieved prolonged 50 kilometer an hour bursts and reach astounding sprint speed of up to 65 kilometers an hour. Magic can, of course, be used to supplement these natural abilities or reduce any strain put on the animal.

Carrying Capacity

The objective carrying capacity of a hippopotamus is approximately 20% of its body weight. This translates to anywhere between 260kg/573lbs and 800kg/1764lbs depending on your specific hippo. Despite this, it is prudent to remember that carry weight affects speed and that your clothing and equipment is likely to weigh more if you get wet and plan accordingly. Additionally, it may be prudent to rest your charging hippos when travelling, if possible, so that they retain their stamina for the battle.

Hippos in Battle

A wild hippo is a formidable enough warrior on its own. They have incredible bite strength and their canines and incisors grow continuously and are naturally sharpened by their grinding. Many warriors also armour their hippos in ways that make their charge especially fierce, though some prefer to equip their hippos with specialized Ethercloth armour. As always, magical armaments and defenses ate common.

Caring for your Hippo

Hippos require a substantial amount of food. As with elephant mounts, they are permitted to graze in Morro's Preserved Grasslands, but it's important to plan for their dietary needs. Given the sheer volume of food necessary, it is recommended to acquire Magically Enhanced Food to ensure your hippo won't get hungry. Remember, one of the reasons hippos are formidable warriors is their temper, and a hungry hippo is not a happy hippo.
In addition to securing food, you must ensure your hippos have adequate access to water, both for drinking and submerging. For this reason, hippos are more suited to missions near bodies of water. If it's impossible to give your hippo access to water, be sure to simulate the environment.
Most importantly, make time for your hippo to play! No one expects you to stop for a game of "spray your friends" in the middle of battle, but play can do wonders for a hippo's mood.

Cover image: Hippo Swim by Jason Milich


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19 Jul, 2019 21:25

WAR HIPPOS! MOTHER FLUFFING WAR HIPPOS! Fantastic article, right from the Title of it alone! haha.   These things sound like absolute beasts. sustained 30km/h speed, with bursts of 50km/h?? That's terrifying, with something so huge. Do hippo riders prefer male or female hippos? Which ones make for a better mount, be it more aggressive, or easier to ride?   Also one other little question popped up near the end of the article -- "Remember, one of the reasons hippos are formidable warriors is their temper, and a hungry hippo is not a happy hippo." does that mean warriors will starve their hippo before battle, as to increase its ferocity? Or is that a bad plan, because then the hippo will be mad at everyone. I feel like either way, the hippos would be a force to be reckoned with :P

19 Jul, 2019 21:46

All great questions. So, first, you do NOT want to starve your hippo. You never want your hippos temper directed at you! Second, I based the speeds on real hippos, to an extent. In the real world, a hippo can sprint 30 km/h. As for the gender of the hippo, each has it's advantage. Females would be easier to train, but also smaller. Front line warrior would be more likely to choose males, I think. In video game terms, a male war hippo is more typically a tank mount and a female is more likely to be a mount for someone who needs a lot of fancy footwork. There's also some hippos used in the same way as wardogs, released when the archers start!