The Jape

Piece is cursed I tells ya— if ya fire on oneathem witches? Yer gun's gon kid, you ain't never gon' see yer shiny piece agin.
— An old coot
  The Jape is a gun that replaces the firearms of any who attempt to attack the Laatapika Ladies, who inhabit a portion of the oil-drenched Laatapika forest.  

The Big Joke

No matter what firearm is utilized— be it a shotgun, rifle, revolver, or gatling gun— after one attempts to attack a member of the coven, they will quickly find their gun replaced with The Jape— pointed at themselves.   The Jape is simple in structure, appearing as a standard toy gun— a simple block and cylinder of brightly painted wood, carved vaguely into the shape of a rifle. There is one major difference, however, and that is that the barrel of The Jape is always pointed backwards, towards the wielder. As The Jape typically appears once an attacker has already begun to pull the trigger— most who hold it fall victim to its myriad strange projectiles.

A Partial Legacy

The very first Jape was created by the founder of the Laatapika Ladies, a former gunsmith by the name of Yiilay, who was the first Sotikaaput woman to join the profession.   Originally, the gun was created as no more than the name implies— a practical joke.   After she left the Roywalaap faith, and founded the Laatapika Ladies, however, the gun became a proper tool for defense.   The Ladies keep a stockpile of Japes on hand, ready to swap with those of their attackers at any moment.

Insult to injury

The Jape does not fire bullets, however— it fires just about anything else. It cannot be manually loaded or unloaded as there is no method through which to do so— how anything is loaded into its chamber to begin with is nothing less than magic. Once the trigger is pulled, The Jape will fire the most humiliating thing possible onto the wielder, reading their Spirit to do so. Past projectiles have included custard, manure, sand, shredded bills, and marbles.  
Is awful I tells ya! Jus' awful! One minit I's got me sights on a witch, an' tha' nex I's got a facefulla them false snakes!
— A Jape victim
 

Repurposing

  Those who don't immediately snap the wooden gun in half, or who don't continue to pursue the Laatapika Ladies, have found a number of uses for The Jape after acquiring it.
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Most commonly, it is used as a party trick, or to get a laugh out of a friend, and on occasion, get revenge on an enemy without harming them.   However, there is limited ammunition. Exactly how many times a single instance of The Jape can fire before becoming completely useless varies depending on exactly what it has fired in its lifetime. A general range of fifteen to forty shots has been recorded across various wielders of the gun.   On the other side of the transaction, the would-be-attacker's gun is left in the hands of the Laatapika Ladies— leaving them with not only a growing armory, but also a source of materials with which to create more magically-enhanced firearms.
 

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Comments

Author's Notes

Feedback is very much welcome! Whether on the content, or the formatting! Please, point out typos if you spot any!


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27 Jun, 2020 23:34

This is hilarious! I consistently love everything I read in Umqwam, it's all so entertaining and well written. I like picturing all the ridiculous things that can come out of the Jape.   The intro paragraph has me a little bit confused, though it could just be me struggling to understand it.

The Jape is a gun that replaces the arms of any who attempt to attack the Laatapika Ladies, who inhabit a portion of the oil-drenched Laatapika forest, with firearms.
  When I first read through it, it sounded like the Jape is a gun that, when fired, replaces the attackers actual arms with firearms! Now that I spend a bit more time reading it after reading the whole article, I can see that it means it replaces their gun with the Jape. I think the paragraph works fine, but it might be something to look into.   Regardless, really fun article you wrote here :)

Cathedris, the world of God-Husks and New Magic, welcomes you.
27 Jun, 2020 23:49

Glad you enjoyed it!   I was iffy on that sentence too, I just rewrote it to:

The Jape is a gun that replaces the firearms of any who attempt to attack the Laatapika Ladies, who inhabit a portion of the oil-drenched Laatapika forest.

28 Jun, 2020 06:39

Looks good! I think you made a great change to it.

Cathedris, the world of God-Husks and New Magic, welcomes you.