Galactan (Ga-lac-tan)

Resting in the far northern area of Pryzmor Duke of Doot's galactic domain rests the home of the Galactans, the friendly cow people of Galactose-9, sworn enemies of the Cactarians of Nopalia!

Basic Information

Anatomy

Galactans appear to be humanoid cow-like entities, in that they look exactly like cows standing on their hind legs! This is due to their preferred method of dress being a pair of gloves and boots which appear to be hooves, but underneath are actually exact replicas of humanoid hands and feet. Yes, they stand completely naked, all genitalia is censored out of your vision by either a HUD or by a professional team of editors. You are welcome.

Biological Traits

Chocolate milk cows live five years longer. There are also even rarer variants such as strawberry milk and banana milk cows. There are also 2% cows that only live half as long, but they are a dying breed. Good, they didn't provide enough calcium.

Genetics and Reproduction

Icky, gross, nope.

Growth Rate & Stages

I mean it's a cow-like entities literally they are cows that grow on two legs. I mean I guess it's interesting that they shed their hooves at the age of three to grow humanoid feet and hands in place of their hooves, but then they wear boots and gloves to look like they have hooves. Make up your mind guys.
Also during their larval stage their utters are prehensile, it's disgustings.

Ecology and Habitats

Big open plains with lots of grass to eat. They are cows on two legs what did you expect me to type here. That they feast of divine dinners in ornate halls? IT'S JUST A COW! THEY HAVE THE DIETARY NEEDS OF A COW

Dietary Needs and Habits

Flowers, Grass, Wheat, and other things that grow in fields. No not the poo JERRY!

Biological Cycle

They constantly participate in ritualistic practices like butter turning and ice cream making. Or the most dreaded process of all, CHEESE CURDLING!
Actually, it's not dreaded at all, this is why Pryzmor protects them. Its a lie created by the Skeleton Crews Psi Operations to protect the Galactans from ignorant races and Soda Sailors.

Additional Information

Social Structure

It's generally pretty peaceful as they work together to build a constructive community that ships the milk on time with the help of earth-bred cows. These cows form cows. One day the farmer will become the FARMED.

Domestication

I mean some people are into that.

Uses, Products & Exploitation

They exploit each other and we exploit them. It's a mutual relationship of calcium-rich milk. Tho to be fair, milk from other cows generally tastes better. I'm just saying I want more milk in my calcium ration then those damn Chalk Fruit. I want that milk in my calcium receptacle.

Facial characteristics

Lumpy.

Geographic Origin and Distribution

They have an entire planet, where the hell do you think?

Average Intelligence

Could be better.

Perception and Sensory Capabilities

Galactans have no special perception of anything, what so ever. It's surprising really as they seem to have a critical lack of imagination and colored vision. Like they are all colorblind. Seriously how have they survived this long to become a space-faring civilization? They trade almost entirely in milk. Like WTF dude.

Symbiotic and Parasitic organisms

Their utter is a symbiotic creature called a Znorpalpod attached during a Galactan's larval stage. It's horrifying.

Civilization and Culture

Naming Traditions

They prefer names like "Moo", "Moobert", "Boomert" and "Marv"

Major Organizations

A majority of the population follows the over cow, an elected position that acts as the Glacactan world government. This republic that they have formed is split into multiple political parties that argue about issues on personal freedoms and the importance of the community as a whole.  A small faction of the Galactans have split into multiple subfractions of warriors, and factory workers under the leadership of a Soda Sailor. Dissolution with Pryzmors patronage of their planet and seeing him as a conqueror rather than the helping hand that he wishes to be.
That is to say that it's really complicated and you can't pay me enough to read more about it.

Beauty Ideals

Make big milk, look sexy.

Gender Ideals

Males have big utters, females have big Znorpalpods.

Courtship Ideals

I don't know, ask one.

Relationship Ideals

Same as above.

Average Technological Level

They are a space fairing race but their space program broke off genetically engineered themselves into a new species that started a war with the Cactarians. We don't talk about them anymore.

Major Language Groups and Dialects

Moo

Common Etiquette Rules

Unlike Humans they encourage regurgitation and rechewing of food extremely loudly. Also that "Revenge is best served hot...like milk."
I hate this culture.

Common Dress Code

They wear boots and gloves that look like hooves to hide their human hands and feet. It doesn't look good and it just adds to their disturbing nature. Also, they like to "Hang out with their junk out." Thanks again to the tech team for protection against this memetic hazard.

Culture and Cultural Heritage

There is a weird cultural thing about the harvesting of their foes utters. They are shockingly violent when they want to be.

Common Customs, Traditions and Rituals

Despite being herbivores, they seem to have gained a taste for meat, and bones. Hunting and eating other animals in their homeworld despite their very own biology telling them that this is a stupid idea. I don't understand why we don't just bomb them from orbit till they return to being regular cows. Their milk is highly rich in calcium after one of these feasts, however.

Common Taboos

Attaching more than one Znorpalpod to one's body.

History

[Snarky quote here]

Historical Figures

I can't give less of a crap about bi-pedal cow people.

Common Myths and Legends

The Znorpalpods horror has become a common legend of the Galactans due to the horror of such a creature existing. According to the myth a child had eight Znorpalpods attached to his body, and in his youth, each utter became prehensile and created a small ball of living utters which hunted down the innocent, and would spew forth stomach acid from each of its many openings. It would after melting down its victims move over them to swallow the melted bodies like a fly. It is used as a cautionary tale to keep bad children... Wait why would they tell children this story. I'm a soldier and I find it messed up man.

Interspecies Relations and Assumptions

I hope not...

Scientific Name

Galactan (duh)

Origin/Ancestry

YES

Lifespan

Cows Lifespan

Conservation Status

Under the protection of Pryzmor Duke of Doot's!

Average Height

Cows Length "verticle"

Average Weight

Cows Weight

Average Length

That's offensive.

Average Physique

COW

Body Tint, Colouring and Marking

Black and white, except the chocolate milk cows. A rare and valuable variant, they are brown.