The Novices

“Oh it went terribly.” She shook her head with a rueful laugh, leaning in across the table so her colleagues could hear her over the noisy mess hall.
“Absolutely terrible. We went for a walk through the King’s Garden which was fine, I suppose, then decided to have an ale in the King Suddon.” Her two male colleagues nodded knowingly but the other female looked confused.
“With the barmaid?” one of the males asked, illustrating his point by cupping his hands a substantial way from his chest.
“With the barmaid” she cupped her own hands some substantial distance from her own chest. “Well, I might have been invisible. I swear he was literally standing up to crane and watch her. Then he asked if I could pay for the drinks because…” she smiled and shook her head “…he wanted to use his money to leave her a tip” Speaking louder over the resulting laughter she expanded “She hadn’t even served our table!”
“I swear, if reciting the Precepts could hold the sort of attention this tavern’s wench’s tits can then…” she paused for a second “…Yes, an understanding of the Precepts is important but I think the actual recitation is more important” Her colleagues frowned in confusion for a moment then made various “ah”-type faces as the one of the Masters of Novices sat down at their table holding a bowl of porridge.
“It was a brave attempt, Novice, but I head the bulk. Further, I have been a Master of Novices long enough to find novices discussing their lessons outside of lesson time to be suspicious in its own right. Redeem yourself Novice. Use them to preach.”
She froze for a moment then tentatively asked “Use her ti…use the woman’s breasts to preach?”
“Quite. You wish to be an Orthodoxer if I recall correctly. This is an important skill. Use their everyday experiences to make them understand the Faith. Ogling a tavern wench’s ti..breasts” he smiled slightly, softening the mockery “is likely something they can understand, preach from it”
“Oh…Master…I can’t think of…” “I can!” One of the males spoke up. “Well, you will have your opportunity in a moment, Novice, have no fear. But first, I wish to hear this young woman.”
The Passive Blessing
“Errrrm. Use them to…I mean…people…breasts” she was talking more to herself, running through ideas semi-audibly. “I guess he liked looking at them…oh wait! Wait, I’ve got it! OK, so…” she closed her eyes for a moment while she collected her ideas and when she spoke again it was in the careful diction she felt appropriate for preaching.
“Imagine a tavern wench with a shapely bosom.” She blushed slightly but powered through. “Seeing her brings a certain amount of happiness to many, it is broadly an enjoyable experience. But crucially it is one that is available to all without any input from the woman or actions by the viewer. All that is needed is to be in the appropriate place and meet some basic requirements – vision, an interest in…in bosoms.” She glanced around the table briefly and got a few encouraging nods.
“This is how the Passive Blessing works. Land provides his blessing to the whole of the Diarchy in the form of increased crop yields, more fertile soil, fewer crop diseases in the area and so on. And just like the woman’s chest, this blessing is provided with very few caveats. It is not necessary for a farmer to recite the Precepts or grant Veneration or anything similar or even for Land to be particularly aware of the existence of the farmer. All that is needed is for them to be farming in the area that Land blesses.” She looked satisfied with herself for a moment then was suddenly struck by a thought.
“And, also, the benefits of the breasts are according to their nature, we say ‘Natural’. So they can make people seeing them a little happier, perhaps, but they can’t, for example, cure diseases or make a meal tastier. In the same way the passive blessing for Land, or any god, is Natural in that it can only provide a blessing in line with the nature of the god. Land blesses agriculture and farming, his passive blessing does not cause bones to set faster or babies to be born healthier.”
She looked proud of herself and the Master gave an approving nod. “Excellent work, Novice. Now, your turn.” He nodded his head to the other male, the one who had not spoken up before. Who shook his head in horror.
“Master…I don’t even want to be an Orthodoxer.”
“Regardless, novice. Perhaps you could discuss the active blessings? Your friend seems to have given you an easy way in to that conversation.”
“The active blessings of…” he cupped the air in front of his chest for a moment then looked down in horror at his hands and quickly moved them.
“Don’t be coy, Novice. I suspect you know what they are.”
The Active Blessing
“Errrm. Master I…” but one glance told him mercy wasn’t to be forthcoming so he studied the bowl in front of him studiously while he talked. “The Active Blessing is a choice given by the god making the blessing. So, it’s like…Master, please?” He glanced wildly at the Master who smiled but shook his head; he moved his gaze back to the porridge and continued with obvious discomfort. “It’s like the serving girl can choose people to enjoy…to…errrm… Land…to receive the benefits more actively. And they have some choice as well, in what they....” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“OK. So people she chooses can do more than look at her…you know, her… and they can choose, to some extent what they do. And it’s like that with the Clergy. We enjoy the Active Blessing and can choose what Blessing Land gives us. But it has to be Natural, still. The people she chooses can’t do unnatural things with…” he froze in horror to the amused laughter of his colleagues. “I mean…can’t fly…” he mumbled at the porridge.
“Indeed Novice,” the Master finally took mercy. “Indeed. The Active Blessing must still be within the nature of the god. Land can grant us great abilities as an Active Blessing but he cannot caulk a ship or make a person grow horns as neither of those are Natural to an agriculture god. Others would be able to give an active blessing of a caulked ship but would be unable to, for example, remove vermin from a field. Just as the Active Blessings of this woman’s chest would give various potential benefits to those she chose but, as you say, they wouldn’t be able to make the recipient fly. Further, the more powerful the god the further from what is strictly Natural they can bestow. In the north we have used Land’s Active Blessing to raise fortresses from the ground. This is not Natural to an agriculture god but with the justification that these fortresses protect fertile farmland and given Land’s power it was possible. There is perhaps an analogy with the size of the woman’s chest permitting more actions or similar but it is a little tenuous and, frankly, I think you might take your own life if I attempt to make it so I shall refrain.” He steepled his fingers and thought for a moment.
“You will be required to advise people, Novice, on a number of topics. Why they are unable to conceive is a possibility. I know you feel I was cruel but this is part of life and you must be able to discuss such matters fluently and to things that aren’t a bowl of porridge. Consider that a target for improvement.” “Yourself, Novice?” This was aimed at the other female who nodded briefly – she’d seen this coming and had had time to think.
The Malediction
“Mena” she nodded at her female colleague whose bad date had initiated the conversation “will probably not be returning to the King Suddon any time soon. Further whatever…” she smirked “…Passive Blessing Mena can deliver…” Mena scowled at her jokingly “…if she did would be overshadowed by the serving woman’s. This is called the Malediction – Passive Blessings interfere with one another and a very strong Passive Blessing, like the one Land gives, can all but block out that of any other god in its active area. So deities in the Diarchy that aren’t Land are a lot less powerful in the Diarchy than they otherwise would be for the same amount of veneration because of the power of Land, if they are able to form at all.”
“Competent and fluent, Novice. Well done. Now, I believe you had an idea how to proceed?” He raised an eyebrow at the male Novice who had volunteered in the first place, who shook his head quickly. “I was going to talk about the Active Blessing and I can’t think of anything else.”
“I admit it has become a little harder, but follow the analogy through, Novice. Your friend very chivalrously claimed that only those the woman chose could receive the active blessing but that is not totally accurate is it. If one were strong enough and had few enough morals?” He met each pair of eyes in turn to check they had understood what he meant.
“Now, the analogy becomes a little unpleasant here so I suggest we abandon it. But what would happen if I attempted to use Land’s Active Blessing to remove all fertility from a field, ensuring crops would never grow there again?” There were frowns and attempts at forming a sentence: “Well, I suppose…” or “I…I guess it would….” – the assorted noises of people saying “I don’t know” without saying “I don’t know”.
“Unsure? Very well. It would almost certainly work.”
Abominations
He nodded. “Indeed. Almost certainly. But – and I realise I said we would abandon the analogy due to unpleasantness but let us bear the parallels in mind at least. First, it is vanishingly unlikely I would ever be able to enjoy the Active Benefit again, in any form. And Land would do his best to ensure that I didn’t realise the Passive Benefit either though, as you have correctly said, that is somewhat outside his control.
“Further, everyone high enough in Land’s favour to receive the Active Blessing would be informed. This happened, oooh, three years ago? Before you became Novices, certainly. I’m not sure what led to it but I…ah, it is difficult to understand. There was a person, south of here, whose position I was suddenly intensely aware of and who I…I hated? The word is insufficient. Whose very existence was a deeply personal affront to me. It was difficult to concentrate on other things, even to sleep. I knew exactly where this person was and their every breath was…wrong. It is, as I say, difficult to explain. I was acutely aware that this person just shouldn’t exist. This lasted a little over a day and then it suddenly ended. I assume one of my colleagues…ended the problem. I am not a violent man and have little combat skill but I have no doubt I would have fought this person until one of us were dead. We call them abominations.”
He stirred his porridge for a moment then shrugged. “It doesn’t happen often. And the strength of the distaste is proportional to the strength of the god. If we five here and now were to create a god and then one of us seized the Active Blessing in this way we might simply find that person a little irritating. Maybe have a mild preference they didn’t sit with us at lunch. An abomination against Land though, well. As I say, I would have hurled myself at them with only teeth and fists without a second’s thought.
He shrugged again and stood to leave. “Just be wary of what you are discussing in public, Novices. People respect the clergy and common chatter about such matters hurts that. I promise you it does.”