WeirD&D: The Cannibal Cusine of Elves, Master Cookbook
It is well known that elves are cruel cannibals, but one really has to admire the skill with which they prepare human meat.In elven society, death is a terrible thing - an end to the wonderful journey of life and all its joys. When such grim ends come, they treat even hated foes with respect and honor them one last time by cooking and eating their bodies. With aeons spent at war and battle for love, hate, territory or vengence, Elves have had plenty of time with which to make certain that the dead also taste exquisite. This tome contains some of the most common or noteworthy recipes and few are left out of its hungry pages, for elves eat everyone.
by Rock Cafe.info
WeirD&D: The Cannibal Cusine of Elves, Master Cookbook
Aarakocra Wings
The Aarakocra place great weight on their wings, making it the foundation of their free society. It would be a dishonor not to make them the feast when an Aarakocra falls to Elven blades, then. While the rest of the bird-men are eaten as well, the wings are a favorite.- Sever the wings and pluck the feathers.
- Marinade for a night, then bread with spices.
- Cook in oil. Serve fresh and hot.
by Rock Cafe.info
Aboleth Slime Stew
Although they are unnatural terrors from beyond the stars, some have cast off the yoke of their fell god to the point where they are worthy of consumption. The slime stew is not a meal for the faint of heart and the recipe must be followed precisely, to avoid fatal transmutation.
- Drain the Aboleth of as much mucous as possible.
- Butcher the corpse according to preference
- Prepare a broth from the Aboleth's mucus, adding Anchor-root and Flesh-wisp herbs to exact measures.
- Add spice, herbs and vegetables along with meat, cook at a slow heat for a day and night.
Deva Delights
The angelic Deva only appear when the world buckles and the veil between worlds is rent asunder. Once they do, they discriminate little in their slaughter. Honor their purpose with a feast of silver skin, cooked to a delicious crunchy crisp.- Flay the Angel and rinse the skin carefully.
- Cut into long strips, leave no more than an inch of meat attached to the skin.
- Less meat make for a crisper Delight. Season accordingly.
- Fry-cook until the skin curls and become crispy. Serve with sauce.
by Rock Cafe.info
Ankheg Shell-Baked Stew
Take great care when serving Ankheg. There are glands that fill with acid for the creature to use and if you puncture them the acid will ruin the meat - as well as anyone who gets sprayed. by Rock Cafe.info
- Cut the Ankheg into pieces along its segments
- Carefully rinse with water until it comes out clear. Save the run-off.
- Mix herbs, spice and seasoning to the meat, bake inside its own shell.
- With rinse-water, create slightly acidic sauce to go with.
Basilisk Barbecue
Basilisk meat has a tough, gritty texture and their stomach is filled with rocks. It is best to serve after a long, slow cook to make it tender. Due to its greyish-blue hue, it can be hard to tell when the meat has spoiled, so immediate consumption after cooking is advised.- Cut meat from the back and flanks of the Basilisk.
- Boil for a day, then strain any particles of stone, gem or metal from the water.
- Apply a rich rub, marinade in sauce for another day. Should the meat still feel tough, leave for another day.
- Slow-cook, then serve.
by Rock Cafe.info
Behir Bouillabaisse
Behir mix flavors of shrimp and reptile. With large enough cauldrons, a single Behir can feed many. by Rock Cafe.info
- Dice the meat - the Behir is large, so plan accordingly
- Cook it in large cauldrons together with fruit, herbs, olive oil, garlic and wine.
- Serve as a rich, thick soup.
Remember, there is no obligation to only use the flesh of your fallen foe in the dish. If it is best complimented with another taste, do so. They won't complain.
Beholder Eye-Stalk Soup
The Beholder's eyes are key to their formidable power - and deep flavor. The rest of the Beholder is inedible, with a range of unpleasant consequences best avoided.- Cut the eye-stalks and hang them to dry out over smoke.
- Create a base for the soup with herbs, oil and fruits. Add the stalks.
- For more texture, cut the eyes off of the stalks and roast them before putting them into the soup.
by Rock Cafe.info
Grilled Bugbear Head
The Bugbear hunt for heads to honor their gods and use their foul soul-trapping magic. Return the favor. by Rock Cafe.info
- Decapitate the corpse. If the larders are low, keep the rest of the body for other meals.
- Shave and boil the head at low temperature, for safety.
- Some keep the brains, other remove it - it is up to taste.
- Grill over open fire after seasoning. Enjoy.
Stuffed Bulette
Always hungry in life, fill them with as many flavors as you can in death. Bulette meat is tough, but its own juices serve well to tenderize it.- Remove the limbs, leave the armor plating on.
- Turn it on its back. Open the Bulette and cut open its stomach carefully.
- Remove inedible content from the stomach, then add herbs, mushrooms, vegetables and all the Bulette's organs.
- Sprinkle with seasoning, add the bulette meat, and put on a fire. Cook it within its own armor.
by Rock Cafe.info
Bullywug Leg
The only part of the frog-people with any real meat are their powerful haunches. Although they can be eaten raw, the taste of tainted magic lace through their flesh and is best cooked out to avoid danger. by Rock Cafe.info
- Sever Bullywug leg, getting as much meat from the body as you can.
- Boil the contaminants out of the meat. The water will be unsafe to drink, but useful against other enemies.
- Let the leg dry out, then bake with herbs.
- Serve together with sauce for dipping
Carrion Crawler Spit
Crawler taste much like any other insect, but their size offer a larger meal. Other folk are almost as squeamish eating Crawlers as they are about eating flesh of kin; best avoided in such sensitive company.- Cut the legs and tentacles off the Crawler
- Gut the crawler and remove all organs; save them for other meals.
- Boil the meat, then put it on a spit
- Roast over open fire while rotating, until the meat begins to curl and turn at the edges
by Rock Cafe.info
Centaur Flank Steak
Half-man, half-horse; either part is equally delectable in the hands of a competent chef. This dish use the horse part of the centaur, but the human part should be used in equal measure - there is no reason to let it go to waste. by Rock Cafe.info
- Skin and cut meat from the rear flank of the horse body
- Rub with spices and herbs
- Cook on each side on heated stone briefly
- Once the meat has seared, bake for half an hour to an hour depending on size
Oh my - that's so bizarre! Q - you lovable maniac. How do you come up with these ideas?
Extrapolation, a lot of the time. Take a thing, combine it with the aspects of another and see where it leads us. :D Thank you so much for reading and commenting :D
Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.