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The Hustlin' Bustlin' Tip Top Ultimate Fun Time Tavern

The Hustlin' Bustlin' Tip Top Ultimate Fun Time Tavern, or as it is known the other half of the week, The Wharf's Rest, is a tavern on the southern docks of Septa. It is run by the sibling pair of Eli Uptabee, a Gnome, and Ruth Uptabee, a Goliath. Yeah. They were both adopted. They bought the building that would later become the tavern as a joint business venture, but due to a lack of communication they didn't realise until it was too late they they had vastly different ideas about what the tavern should be. Ruth wanted a place that was a sort of nightclub, catering to the more youthful minded and adventurous sort, while Eli wanted to run a respectable and ordinary pub with more of a wide appeal that could become a stable part of the community. Their solution, after much arguing, was to alternate days between the two themes, changing the decor, atmosphere, and even sign on the front of the building every day before opening.   This compromise satisfied no-one.   .

Purpose / Function

The Hustlin' Bustlin' Ultimate Tip Top Fun Time Tavern is the coolest place on all of Septa. You can come and join us straight off the boat thanks to our great location, and we have karaoke, and game nights, and we have colourful cocktails and super fun times and bright colours and it's just the greatest place in the whole archipelago!   Actually, The Wharf's Rest, is one of the best locations on Septa to conduct one's business. We have a quiet and respectful atmosphere, which makes it ideal to have a nice dinner with friends, or perhaps to grab a quick drink and a meal after a hard day's work at the docks.   And then you can have more drinks and get crazy with us all night long!   No! This is a serious and upscale establishment, not some nightclub!   Aw, but you can find those anywhere. This is the only place where you can see peacocks dancing the foxtrot while you drink - you won't find that anywhere else.   You won't find it because it's tacky, unhygienic, and costs too much to turn a profit at the end of the day!   Heh, with the amount that people are willing to spend on our cocktails, I highly doubt we're losing money.   I don't - I'm the one that keeps our books! You spend way too much on ingredients!   No, the problem is you spending all that money on the fancy furniture that looks like what you'd find in a funeral home.   It's sophisticated, Ruth! Anyway, sorry about that. As we were saying, our award winning chef -   Oh yeah, I do agree with that one, he's great. You should really try the lasagne, it's to die for.   - yes. Actually, maybe that's a poor choice of words, considering. Regardless, our menu is truly exemplary, offering a wide range of items that are suitable whether you want a quick bite, or a holiday dinner with all the family.   But anyway, come and check us out! We're right on the water, so you can't miss us.     .


Turning what was previously a very ordinary pub into the type of location that could facilitate daily changes between two entirely different styles required that a lot of major changes be made. Half of the guest rooms were converted into storage space for all of the furniture and decorations that wouldn't be used half of the time, while the bedrooms that remained were given major redecorations, with half matching the cosy inn aesthetic, and the other half being brightly coloured and meant for partying.   The main common room in the downstairs of the inn also went through some major renovations. The floor was made into a series of interlocking panels on hinges that can be rotated depending on the theme of the evening, with a choice of what appears to be an oak hardwood or a glistening dancefloor. The lights can be removed, placing coloured lamp shades in place, and even the fireplace can have a cover placed over it for when the tavern in in club mode.   While the outside of the tavern had little work done, the sign above the entrance was made double sided, with a rope system that allows it to be flipped around to display whichever name the tavern is going by on that night.     .


So, the problem with The Hustlin' Bustlin' Tip Top Ultimate Fun Time Tavern / The Wharf's Rest is that it just doesn't work as a business. The two ideas are basically incompatible, because there are very few people who see the appeal of both a quiet pub and and what is essentially a nightclub - and if they do, they typically don't care for both being set in the same location. Furthermore, because the building might as well change into a different building entirely every night, most people are unwilling to stay for more than one night.   There are a few loyal customers who have learnt the schedule and come in only on the days that are appealing to them, but these are unfortunately not enough to build a solid customer base. Most of the revenue, such as it were, comes from the people who are new to the island and wish to try the place out. While the food receives excellent reviews, and a good number of people enjoy the atmosphere that was present on the day when they happened to go, the majority do not tend to return upon learning the tavern's gimmick.    As a result, the tavern only breaks even about half the time, and that is not ideal when the siblings are in debt from their expensive refurbishments in the first place. And at this point, if it weren't for the legendary quality of the food incentivising people to come back, the place likely would have closed down long ago.
Founding Date
Alternative Names
The Wharf's Rest
Pub / Tavern / Restaurant
Additional Rulers/Owners


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Mar 16, 2022 23:44 by Michael Chandra

... Frickin' idiots, dig out a basement and have that turned into the nightclub!!! I swear they deserve to go bankrupt for not only doing a ridiculous compromise but also the very worst way of handling it... -_-

Too low they build who build beneath the stars - Edward Young
Mar 18, 2022 13:31

Siblings compromising in a constructive way? Sounds fake

Mar 18, 2022 14:01 by Michael Chandra

... I feel called out.

Too low they build who build beneath the stars - Edward Young
Mar 18, 2022 20:38 by Mikael Jokela

I would LOVE to present this location to my party one day! The dynamic between the innkeepers would be hilarious and maybe even eventually include a plotpoint where the characters can influence for the bar to end to one of the two owners! Absolutely love the amount of character you have given to the tavern!

Mar 19, 2022 18:02

Well if you do, I hope that your party enjoy it