Misko and the Jewels of Amberrage
Misko Eskako, also known as Misko the Great Bandit, is a legendary thief among the Hylians. He is well known for having stolen dozens of artifacts and valuables from many dangerous places, and his exploits have become legendary adventure stories for wide-eyed children and adults alike. Not much is known about Misko, and who he is and where he comes from varies by the story, but what everyone does know is that he famously and successfully stole almost 300,000R worth of jewelry from the noble House of Amberrage. How he managed to pull this off also varies, but the most famous variation involves the seduction of the lady of the house. While the story has been sensationalized, it is a true story that happened not long before the Calamity in 110 E.A. And while no one from the story is still alive, the House of Amberrage managed to survive, and they are tight-lipped about the events to this very day.
After all, who would want to admit that their great-grandmother was seduced out of some family heirlooms by a Gerudo woman?
No matter the Misko story, the legend always begins with a lavish description of whatever it is that Misko steals by the end of the story. In this case, the Jewels of Amberrage were a jewelry set that had been passed down by the family for what they claimed to be hundreds of years. The set included a necklace, a ring, a set of earrings, and an anklet all gold and set in diamonds, rubies, and sapphires. The jewels were considered to be historical and a pride of the House of Amberrage, and showing them off to their envious neighbors and friends were among their favorite pastimes. When Misko caught wind of these jewels, as well as how boastful the House of Amberrage had been about them, he knew immediately that he had to steal them. At the time that the story allegedly took place, the House of Amberrage was a great and ancient noble family that was close to the King of Hyrule, so being caught stealing from them would have been seen as a grave and personal insult to the king himself: an automatic death sentence. Even though he was warned of what fate awaited him if he got caught, Misko reportedly laughed at such a notion and said:In this particular variation of the story, Misko reportedly set his sights on the lonely lady of the house and used his charm to begin a torrid affair with her that lasted for several weeks. He practiced sneaking into and around the house to meet his lover and would practice sneaking out every night after they were done. He learned the working schedule of the lord of the house, as well as all the other family members and the servants, and even how to get around the family dogs. When he was confident that he knew as much about the house as possible, he struck. After a typical night of passion with Lady Amberrage during a week when her husband was away for business, Misko made his way over to the safe where the jewels were kept, constantly ducking out of the sight of the night staff. Whether he knocked out or killed the guards depends on the teller of the legend, but either way, he incapacitated the guards before swiping the jewels and making his escape. When Lady Amberrage woke up the next morning, she reportedly found a note by Misko thanking her for the jewels and that they made up for what a terrible lay she was.
"I am a wanted man in many places, and I will be a wanted man in many more."plain text transcript
"I am a wanted man in many places, and I will be a wanted man in many more."
-Misko the Great
-Misko the Great