A Food-Lover's Guide to Omelets in Hyrule
Traysi Walker, the owner and editor-in-chief of the pop culture magazine, the Rumor Mill, decided that a fluff piece was needed to pad out the pages of the month's magazine, so she assigned her daughter, Wini, to write an article that was informative yet inoffensive. Wini decided to write about omelets because it was the most universal and inoffensive topic she could think of at the time (it also helped that she was eating one for lunch).
The Article
Hello there fellow rumor-mongers, your favorite reporter Wini Walker here for another piece that'll get you absolutely salivating -- literally! As you no doubt already guessed from the title, today's piece is all about omelets! Love 'em, hate 'em, gotta have 'em, omelets are all over the land. Whether they're cheesy, meaty, spicy, tangy, or sweet, there seems to be an omelet recipe for every household.
To celebrate this wonderfully delicious and ubiquitous food where the only thing it has to have in common is that it's made with folded eggs, I've decided to go all over the land to see just what's eating Hyrule.
Central Hyrule
There's no place like home as we all like to say, so our first trip keeps us right here in the Rumor Mill headquarters of Central City where the reigning champion of omelets is none other than...the Champion Omelet!
The Champion of Hyrule's favorite omelet type according to legend, this particular recipe is packed with all the protein a hero would need to save the day. Hyrule's signature Hylian cheese give those fluffy eggs its signature orange-tint and binds all the venison, poultry, and hearty bass together for a mighty meaty meal!
Now while it's alleged that this omelet, good as it may be, is the Champion's favorite, I decided to track down the Legend himself for an official word. Unfortunately, he wasn't available at the time this article was being written, but fear not fellow rumor-mongers! I was able to snag an equally scrumptious quote from his most trusted military general:
The Commander will literally eat anything, so who even knows. I witnessed the man down half a bowl of cake batter before someone stopped him. I would never claim to know what his favorite food is. Whatever it is, I fear for it. He doesn't eat, he consumes.
Ooh, scandalous! You heard it here first, folks!
Next up is a classic that I'm sure that all my readers that live here in the city eat at least once a week: the Quiche Omelet! Combining the average Hylian's two favorite meals, its the perfect dish if you ask me. This omelet takes any kind of egg and combines it with the quiche staples of cheddar, goat cheese, spinach, Hylian shrooms, onions, and last but certainly not least, beef bacon to make an easy quiche-tasting substitute that skips all the hassle of making an actual quiche.
Our last showcase for Central Hyrule is bound to be a treat! For a whopping 250 rupees, you can purchase the Romani Ranch's very own Berry Romani, one of those dessert omelets that have started to become popular as of late. The Berry Romani is made from Cucco eggs with their signature, alcoholic milk drink, Chateau Romani, and stuffed with sweet cream cheese, sliced strawberries, blueberries, and wildberries. While it may not be what one would normally think of when it comes to omelets, it is no less delicious and has the Wini Walker stamp of approval. With apologies to my waistline, I happily had two!
Necluda
Moving away from Hyrule, I traveled to our neighboring region of Necluda to sample their wares. My first stop brought me to the forever creepy and haunted hills of Deya Village, where everyone does two things: whisper and eat snails. Now I know what you're thinking, fellow rumor-mongers, "Snails? Come on, Wini!" But please, hear me out! While the poor saps of Deya don't have much going for them, they do have the paradox that is the Deya Snail Omelet. Made with duck eggs, plenty of sneaky river snail meat, and "Deya greens" (cheese optional, but highly recommended -- I had mine with cheddar), once you get over the fact that you're eating slimy little pond creatures in the most depressing place in Hyrule, this omelet is actually quite appetizing! Trust me; would I ever lie to you, good people?
On my way to my next stop, I had myself a little rest at the Dueling Peaks Stable. While there, I helped myself to a Stable Special omelet. Most certified Stable Association stables have their own variations of the Stable Special, but they all have Cucco eggs, Hylian cheese, and sliced beef in common. Dueling Peaks happen to use Hylian herbs and stamella shrooms in their own, making it a simple yet effective meal.
After I was all rested up and full of energy, I pushed on to the sleepy little village hidden in the rolling hills of Kakario where a young chef by the name of Koko Satami resides. She's been cooking since she was 10 years old, and her food has been wowing her village and travelers alike since she first opened her food stand at the still tender age of 12. Talk about ambitious! I hadn't even penned my first article until 15, and by that age, Chef Koko had already served 1,000 customers! One of her most famous dishes is, of course, an omelet, aptly named Koko's Omelet. It's made with Cucco eggs and filled with Sheikah cheese, boiled spiced pumpkin, and baked apple slices with honey drizzled on top. A little on the pricey side at 175 rupees, but for Chef Koko's amazing creation, it's well worth it!
Kakariko Village was going to be my last Necluda destination, but then I realized something: how could I leave without stopping by Hateno Village? Correcting my egregious oversight was handsomely rewarded with one of the best omelets I've had yet: the Hateno Omelet! The secret was definitely in the swiss cheese; it perfectly blended together the duck eggs, tomatoes, onions, and Hylian shrooms for a surprisingly handsome and savory meal. Compliments to the chef at The Great Ton Pu Inn; you really put your foot in it!
Faron
Maybe it's because I'm still young, but I do not have many regrets. As you all know, I'd do anything and go anywhere for a fresh scoop. But "go anywhere" should never mean "go to this perfectly safe place in the most dangerous way possible"! And such is my folly, dear rumor-mongers, for I have stupidly decided to travel to Faron directly from Hateno. Is it doable? Certainly! Should it be done? Not unless you're an experienced adventurer or the Champion himself; my poor photographer almost lost his camera and I almost lost my life several times! But you know what? In the end, it was all worth it because the Seafood Omelet that I had in Lurelin Village was as incredibly tasty as it was incredibly spicy! The omelet is stuffed to bursting with fresh crab and porgy meat, as well as the fierce Lurelin snapper pepper, and the palm fruit milk that they use in the eggs makes them fluffier than anything omelet I guarantee you've ever had. However unlikely it may be, if you ever find yourself in Faron, do yourself a favor and try one. And for the love of Hylia, do not skip on the rice; it's the only thing keeping you from burning your mouth into oblivion!
Unfortunately, Lurelin Village could not provide me with any other omelet recipes, much to my disappointment, but I can say that I tried the Stable Specials at the Lakeside and Highland Stables, and they're both pretty tasty. Lakeside's omelet is basted with banana paste, which is better than it sounds, while the Highland's own is a carrot lover's dream.
Gerudo
After my excursions in Faron, I traded its sweltering heat for the blistering cold of Gerudo Desert as I had decided to go there at night for the poetic symmetry of this article. All jokes aside, despite the Gerudo not being known for their omelets, I was surprised to learn that they enjoy them all the same. At the Kara Kara Bazaar, I was treated to the Desert Mushroom Omelet, made with whatever eggs the Gerudo can get their hands on, sunshrooms, chillshrooms, zapshrooms, and their delicious (and underrated, in my opinion) gouda cheese. Because I'm not a man, I was invited to try the exclusively Gerudo version of the omelet which included the mysterious Bakadu mushroom. It's good without it, but I'm telling you, that extra mushroom really makes the difference! Since it was technically illegal for me to have it, I will not disclose how I managed to acquire the omelet or who made it for me, but I will say that if you ever find yourself in Kara Kara and you're feeling adventurous (and you're female), tell someone that you'd like an omelet and that Wini sent you! Sorry men, but I promise you that you'd rather have the standard version than be dead.
As a world-renowned journalist, I occasionally get tips leading me to great scoops, and boy did I get a doozy this time! While I was talking to some of the locals at Kara Kara, I was told that if I stuck around for another couple of weeks, I would be able to get a truly special omelet in Gerudo Town. Any excuse to go to Gerudo Town was good enough for me, and of course, I was dedicated to giving my fellow rumor-mongers a complete story, so I took the advice. Full disclosure to all those reading at home: this article is about to get a little saucy for the next paragraph, so make sure no kiddies are still reading. Are the children gone? Good, because this next omelet is shaped like a penis.
No, fellow rumor-mongers, you have definitely read that right. As much as I would have loved to provide a photograph to back up my claims, I cannot do that for both legal and moral reasons. The omelet is known as the Omuvet'Orr'Kori, which literally translates to "omelet of the night-stick" or the penis omelet. I promise you that I'm not making this up, folks. It is served as a treat during the Gerudo's Vatnu Orr'Kori, or "penis festival" where they celebrate, among other things, the importance of men in their all-female culture. So I am 100% serious when I say that during this day, there are penises literally everywhere in Gerudo Town. From the crude paintings on the walls to the decorations in the streets to the food, everything is phallic and embarrassing. I witnessed little children sucking on Orr'Kori-themed lollipops, for Hylia's sake! And the omelet, dear readers, the OMELET! It, too, is expertly shaped like the male anatomy, and it's filled to bursting with sweetened cream cheese and served with a side of sliced hydromelon. A little hole is put at the tip. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. Instead, here's a picture of me holding my 3rd place medal for the Dumpling Slurping Contest, with apologies to my poor parents.
The West
So where does one go from here? What could possibly top the Gerudo's shamelessness? Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on the kind of person you are, nothing. After getting the shock of my life, my traveled to my final destinations in Western Hyrule where the weather is cold and wet, but certainly not their omelets. I had my first omelet of the region at Shikashi Town, which in hindsight makes sense since it's considered the capital of eggheads. While there, I was treated to the West Hyrule staple of the Spicy Jack Omelet. Who is Jack and why is he so spicy? No one knows, but the omelet gets its name from the spicy jack cheese found in the eggs, as well as the liberal use of spicy peppers and Goron spice on the meat in this recipe. It's the perfect meal to have in a region where the temperature has been known to dip as low as -15°F! Here in Shikashi Town, the omelet is usually served with a frothing mug of Chateau Romani of all things to temper the overwhelming spice, and boy was it needed!
Speaking of spicy, another omelet enjoyed by the denizens of West Hyrule is the Curry Rice Omelet, a recipe that stuffs eggs with curry rice made from Goron spice, spicy peppers, onions, endura shrooms, endura carrots, black pepper, and any meat, usually deer. Grab that glass of milk, because you will definitely need it!
Last but certainly not least, my travels finally end in frozen Tabantha Village where I was treated to scrumptious and welcome Tabantha Salmon Omelet. Made with the Rito's famous and freshly caught Tabantha salmon, and their equally-famous smoky mozzarella cheese, as well those spicy peppers that I've grudgingly learned to love.
I hope that this piece was as fun for you to read as it was for me to write, folks, and I hope that it encouraged you to get out there and travel and taste all the wonderful foods that our beautifully diverse land has to offer. As always, this is Wini Walker for the Rumor Mill signing off!
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