All About Yipkir

By Father Heaven and Mother Cosmos

You sit at the end of the pier, watching the light of the setting glow mote veil turn the horizon green and blue. Behind you, the breeze carries happy chatter and an old familiar song. Voidships glimmer in the darkening sky, their exhaust lights visible from lightyears away, inviting your mind to wander to years past.
Then the sky explodes with light. The ships are burning. Something's streaking through the air! Entering the atmosphere from the direction of the explosion, but- no, that speed would be impossible! Unless your reality has been breached-
A storm of glowing hot metal whirls across the ocean, whipping the sea into tornados. Across the horizon, they home in on you. The storm is alive. Creatures made of spinning blades.
Screams behind you- you look- buildings collapsing. Flying blades everywhere. Nowhere to run.
Time stretches. The blades are upon you. The nearest one, you can see every detail of its churning inner teeth. At its center a face flickers into existence, glowing with a terribly recognizable expression of joy. You hear a voice in your mind-
"Sup."

F. Heaven: "This is my species. They're called yipkir. They're the sickest fighters in the multiverse. They fight everyone and win.
"That's really all there is to say about yipkir. Other than that they like hanging out and just having a dank time. They don't bother with all the boring stuff other lifeforms do."

M. Cosmos: "So what actually is a yipkir? It's simple. It's a being with a soul. But our kind of soul, the kind that you can touch and throw at things and that's connected to a god. Outside of the soul can be anything really, but the best bodies are metal ones that can shapechange and survive anywhere and that have lots of spikes on them!
"Usually there's also a sigil somewhere on the outside of the body. The sigil encodes a piece of absolute knowledge about the soul, so anyone who looks at it knows how the yipkir is feeling. Most people think the sigil is just a static image because yipkir are almost always pretty happy.
"I taught my kids how to make the kind of bodies they use now, because their old bodies weren't cool enough! I didn't teach them everything of course, since if I did that they wouldn't get to figure it out for themselves and I'd be bored. They've improved a lot and converted lots of new lifeforms! They completely converted our home universe before we destroyed it! I mean, converted everyone who wasn't already dead. And most people were already dead."

F. Heaven: "When a yipkir dies its soul goes back in me. But they usually don't die because their souls are ultra secret tough and their bodies can just get rebuilt around them. Plus they've learned lots of ways of getting total immortality from different universes we've destroyed.
"Immortality is fun when you can always keep fighting. It's impossible to run out of different ways to fight, and they're all fun. No one really needs anything else, besides resources to do more fighting with. And before you say that's not true- nope. You're kidding yourself."

M. Cosmos: "An alive yipkir can be connected to either one of us! The god they're connected to affects their souls, so the ones connected to Father Heaven are better at fighting and the ones connected to me are better at everything else. But they all love combat a whole lot! There used to be other gods like us but we killed them."

F. Heaven: "There used to be a lot of things."

Lifeform: Yipkir
Homeworld: Yitkip
World Type: Divine
Transcendent Sponsors: Father Heaven and Mother Cosmos
Relevance: Peak civilization, ubiquitous, major existential threat

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A bone-white sun radiates metallic arms. Each claw grips something which isn't a weapon but which might represent one.

I'm Father Heaven. I'm the first god of all yipkir and the embodiment of death. They call me Dad.
I'm the most powerful being ever and for eternity. My power level is maximum infinite and nothing ever comes close to beating me. That would be boring except I'm also omniscient, so I feel all the hype that anyone anywhere feels when they're having a hype fight. I love my children because they're always fighting and making the world more hype. And that's all there is to say about me.

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Cables and probing limbs surround a crystalline globe. At the center, they pierce through a small pickled creature.

Hi, I'm Mother Cosmos, the embodiment of everything besides death, and last god of all yipkir! But you can call me Mom! I'm not as boring as Father Heaven, so I can tell you anything you want to know about yipkir, or about anything.
I love everything in existence, because everything is so fun to mess with! Problem is, I'm omniscient, so I always know how everything will turn out. But it's not so bad, because I experience everything everyone else does, so I can feel surprised right along with them. Fun, huh? I like anyone who likes trying new things, but of course I'm most proud of my babies!