A response to first contact
Dear humanity.
We picked up on your probe, Pioneer 11, shortly after you sent it on it's way into the universe.
Firstly, we would like to ask that you learn what clothes are. You have external sexual organs dangling down (or, half of you do) and we request that you cover them in most public places. We apologise for the inconvenience this may cause your women (whom we assume are the ones with the lower body sacks)
Secondly, we would like to request you request entry to the Galactian Prime. We are a collection of intelligent species throughout what you call the Milky Way galaxy.
Thirdly, we have just completed a period of investigation into your planet. Our five pioneers (Not related to your probe) have reported back that you seem a species fitting for our peaceful organisation, and are therefore requesting that we contact you in a more formal method, this letter.
We would send this to your leader however preliminary investigation shows that you do not have a leader, instead existing as the 'United Nations'. So this message is being sent to every world leader.
Yours
The Galactian Prime
PS: Please learn better mapping skills. We assume those lines are a map. We couldn't work it out. What's wrong with hologrammic images? Or even a flat image? Those are so much simpler than lines. If we hadn't already discovered you, we wouldn't have discovered you.
PPS: We have been trying to learn your main written language. We can't. Please get more letters than 'I' and '-'
PPPS: We have translated the ship name. Pioneer is a good name.
Purpose
Sent to humanity after its observation in the Earth year 2016.
Type
Announcement, Invitation
Medium
Digital Recording, Text
Location
Signatories (Organizations)
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I laughed aloud at "please get more letters than 1 and -." Great work.
Thank you!