Kobold's Crockpot

"I don't know what I was expecting from a monster themed restaurant. This certainly caught me by surprise, but in a world full of magic, I should've known better. Upon entering the building I was greeted by a disgruntled, pale elf with the name Greg embossed in gold letters on his nametag. I was seated in a corner booth. The interior had dim mood lighting and a black and red color scheme. At first I thought all the monster food names were for fun. Until I tried the sea spawn tacos. After consumption, the sides of my neck began to tingle. I had grown a pair of gills!"

— Food blogger Essie Prixo 

Edgy and only a little suspicious, Kobold's Crockpot first appeared as a new eatery at the Midnight Kingdom. Adventurous eaters of all ages flocked to try their monster of a menu. Seeing the instantaneous popularity, the owners turned it into a franchise with only a handful of select locations across Omari. These cities saw a notable increase in tourism and the restaurant remains a popular attraction.
The franchise itself is owned by a group of friendly kobolds with an enthusiasm for the culinary arts. They employed a family of elves; one or two members are stationed at each location. No one actually knows why they chose these elves in particular. All the siblings know is that one day out of the blue, their parents gave them all a "stable job opportunity".

Monster Menu

• Stardust Pie (Superior darkvision)
• Mighty Kobold Burger(+5 str to all checks)
• Blood Wine (+5 temp hp)
• Ochre Jell-O Jiggler Shots
• Flail Snail Fritters (Magic resistance)
• Shambling Salad
• Unicorn Ice Cream (+15 temp hp)
• Jerk Harpy Drumsticks (5ft fly speed)
• Beholder Dumplings (Advantage on spell attacks)
• Full Moon Vodka
• Sea Spawn Tacos (Water breathing)
• Gnoll Stew
• Violet Fungus "Steak" (Poison resistance)

Grim Ingredients

Patrons will notice that a majority of the menu items are named or themed around different creatures. Most items are, in fact, made with meat and other parts from hostile creatures. They are restricted by laws passed to protect sentient and/or peaceful creatures. Many of their supplies come from adventurers selling them or receiving parts from natural deaths that would otherwise go to waste. No matter the source, each drink and meal is enchanted to grant people various abilities that last 24hrs.

Keeping Stocked

It's not easy or glamorous work obtaining the ingredients needed for the menu. Low ranking members of the kobold clan are tasked with procuring the materials and bringing them back to their home den to be processed and distributed amongst all the locations. The scour Omari and different realms far and wide to hunt down the creatures needed to make these meals. As long as they're not protected, any critter is fair game. There have been allegations of using protected species. No concrete evidence for this has surfaced.

"Oi, boss we got a problem over here! We're outta sea spawn meat and those tacos are flying off the stove this summer. Whatcha suppose we do? The dinner rush will be in soon."
"Just pull some imitation crab out the back and mix in a lil' white fish. I gotta spice blend that'll give it a similar flavor. These suckers don't know the magic doesn't actually come from the ingredients. We hired that old mage for a reason. Now, back to work with ya!"

The restaurant offers adventurers an incentive to hand over any unwanted, fresh, monster kills. There is a number they can call to have a team teleport to their location and take it away. All items are paid a small price for and the adventurers are offered a single meal if multiples were made from material. As a back up, the restaurant has a couple contacts via the Artisan's Guild that can sell them supplies. During periods of low supply, chefs are told to supplement items with ingredients closest to the original. This is also done for items themed around restricted species.

Founding Date

900

Type

Pub / Tavern / Restaurant

Owning Organization

Artisan's Guild

Hours of Operation: 11am-9pm
Current Locations: Shimmerwick, Port Prismo, The Midnight Kingdom, Onflume, Kwati, Port Darzal, Scuttledale, Dusk Harbor, and Skywatch.

What am I Eating?

Stardust Pie: Sold by the slice, this whimsical sweet is light and airy. It has a graham cracker crust infused with edible silver glitter and dried blueberries. The filling is a cream base. It is a mix of blues and purples swirled to resemble a galaxy. The flavor is a berry mix and star shaped sprinkles adorn the top. 
Mighty Kobold Burger: Dig your teeth into this thick, double stacked burger. No actual kobold meat is used.  Each patty is well seasoned, made fresh each day, and juicy. The buns are a hearty whole wheat. They are topped with lettuce, red onion, tomato, and your choice of condiment. 
Blood Wine: A dark crimson wine. It's dry and peppery with a subtle note of iron. You can buy a glass or full bottle. (Drinking more than one glass does not increases the daily effect.) 
Ochre Jell-O Jiggler Shots: Made from vodka and filtered slime from and ochre jelly, these jiggly shots pack quite the punch. It is a semi-opaque dark yellow and leaves your mouth tingling for an hour. Sold by the shot. 
Flail Snail Fritters: You'll get four, fluffy fritters with this dish. The main component is flail snail meat. It is marinated overnight to make sure it's soft and not too chewy. The batter is corn meal based and lightly seasoned so not to overpower the flavor of the snail. 
Shambling Salad: A large bowl full of mixed greens and...are those vines and flowers? No two salads are the same. It is crafted from the various plant parts that make up a shambling mound. Different dressings and mix-ins are available if requested. 
Unicorn Ice Cream: This frosty treat is made from high quality unicorn milk. It's a swirl of bright pink and white. The ice cream is cotton candy flavored. You can get it in a waffle cone or regular bowl. It comes topped with a light dusting of rainbow sugar.
Jerk Harpy Drumsticks: Drool over these two large legs of meat seasoned with a spicy jerk rub. Harpy meat is not always available due to restrictions so other large avian meat may be used. Either way, they're always super juicy and so tender the meat has a hard time staying on the bone. You may request how crispy you want the skin or even have it removed. 
Beholder Dumplings: One of the more exotic offerings, these dumplings are packed full of flavor. A meat mince is mixed with diced onion, green pepper, shredded cabbage, a little egg, and spices. This mixture is stuffed into a dumpling wrapper and steamed. You get six per order alongside your choice of dipping sauce. 
Full Moon Vodka: A rare vodka blend with a hard kick. It's pearlescent with white and silvery swirling glitter suspended in the liquid. There may or may not be werewolf saliva infused into the drink. Sold per shot. 
Sea Spawn Tacos: These soft shell tacos come four per order. Sea spawn meat is baked and then lightly shredded. The tortillas are filled with the meat, sautéed onions and peppers, thinly shredded lettuce, and a lime compote. 
Gnoll Stew: Hearty and warm, this stew is perfect for a cold day. Chunks of gnoll meat are cut into cubes and cooked in a slow cooker after marinating for several hours. The chunks are added to a thickened broth along with potatoes, carrots, baby onions, green beans, and mushrooms. 
Violet Fungus "Steak": Two slabs of this pseudo steak come with this meal. The fungus caps are cut down to size and well seasoned before they are grilled to perfection. A light butter sauce is drizzled over top and the steaks are served with a side of mixed vegetables and mashed potatoes.