Sailor Limerick

There once was a sailor from Wales An expert at pissing in gales He could piss in a jar from the top-gallant spar Without even wetting the sails …
There once was a Sailor from Tulass Whose balls were made out of brass, when he clanked them together they played stormy weather and sparks shot out of his arse…
There was a Young Sailor from Kent Whose Rod was so long it was bent So to save him some trouble He bent it in double And instead of coming – he went!
There once was a Sailor from Bel-Air Who was doing his wife on the stair But the banister broke So he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air…
A strange young Sailor from Leeds Rashly swallowed a package of seeds Great tufts of fine grass Sprouted out of his ass And his balls were covered with weeds…
There was a young Sailor from Brighton Who thought he’d at last found a tight ‘un. He said, “Oh my love, It fits like a glove.” Said she, “But you’re not in the right ‘un.”
There was a young sailor named Bates Who danced the fandango on skates. But a fall on his cutlass Has rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates…