Grand Department Lead Adminstrative Assistant Torture Applicator
Nudity Friday is Mandatory
Welcome to Eternal Correctional Assistance Limited Corp. Your only choice in your eternal torture. We look forward to your hubris bringing your business here.Gloxnor walked into his cubicle, his massive muscles glistening in the light of the fires of the nether realm. He was wearing a dress shirt, and black slacks--with a comical tie that he had gotten as a gift. Comical ties had kind of become Gloxnor's thing. Not because he liked them--a friend just had him wear one that had frogs on it--and then people just started giving him gifts of comical tie. He now had a whole collection given to him as gifts. Today his tie had piano keys on it. He started up his computer. It was an ancient desktop, that was out of date when it was made--and the company bought it up in a lot used. There was parts of the case being held together with Bandaid brand Bandages. The monitor's case was held together with stretch cords--two going over the viewable part of the screen obfuscating what was on the screen. Robbie, his neighbour to the cubicle next to him pipes up, "hey, how is your day so far." Gloxnor just grumbles and sighs, "I... just don't know." Robbie, "ah yeah... did you find out if your wife was cheating on you with the Milk Demon." Gloxnor, "Yeah--turns out she wasn't. Which I really don't get or understand. I mean, the Milk Demon is freaking hot--if the milk wasn't borderline cottage cheese already his ability to cook eggs on his abs on abs would pasturise it into nothingness. I'm all depressed--going to the evil therapist of doom... and... I just am not feeling it. I mean--she cannot be happy with me--and it is just like weird. I mean, the Milk Demon has been fucking my neighbours... like both husband and wife." Julie, the Administrative Assistant walks by, "Oh, looks like somebody has got a case of the Mondays." Gloxnor eyes at his calendar. Everyday was Monday. Sometimes he checked in case a day happened to be Thursday. Thursdays were a REAL wild card day. Though, luckily it was only Mondays for the next few months. Julie smiles, "cheer up, at least we get nudist Fridays. I think about that when looking at you." Julie then winks at Gloxnor. Julie was a chubby demoness girl with horns, a snaggel tooth and an overbite--thick rim glasses and a hair style that has always been used as an example of an out of style hair style. Even in the 80s. Her armpits were unshaved--even more unshaved where her forearms. Gloxnor admitted that should Friday ever occur and happen, Julie would be wholy undistracting and not something to be worried about at work. Gloxnor was about to sign in to get his first sinner to do acts of eternal torture upon when he heard the throat hum of his manager and his coffee mug that said, "Hell's #5673489213656th Best Manager". IT was an enchanted mug that kept track of his ranking in Hell's Typical Managers League--called "Hit Mel" because for some reason anytime these managers find somebody named Mel they smack them. It is a weird verbal tic. "I got your TPS reports... but they didn't have the company header." Gloxnor new this was going to be a standard day of applying torture to people here to burn eternally.
Career
Qualifications
Infernals qualified poof into existence as they are needed. They are given lives and memories and knowledge like they have been there the whole time. Entire childhoods are fabricated--even rewriting the past for such a position.
Career Progression
Absolutely none. Save for getting another meaningless title or description added next to their name.
Payment & Reimbursement
They are spirits of the land. They exist purely to torture the formerly living who have committed arbitrary acts that were written down in a book. They are given something that looks like a salary and money--but it is an illusion that only applies to them. They take no goods or services from anyway--it just looks like they do. It is really annoying when they buy something from a convenience store, and the item is still on shelf after they left and no new money is in the register.
Other Benefits
Your existence is your benefit -- Eternal Correctional Assistance Limited Corp.
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