My Life As A Creator - Chapter 2

But what really was a couple of minutes in the grand scheme of my life? Well, if I had to dedicate my life to making this experiment a reality, I want to save every second as much as possible. But. The thought crossed my mind. I am willing to sacrifice everything around me but myself. I was putting myself on this pedestal that my life means more than anything else. I'm going around and changing the life of these beasts for my own gain. The gain of my people. But will those people actually want this? What if I'm doing all this for naught but myself? What if my finding were to be rejected, that no one actually wanted to benefit the people as much as myself? Was my aim to benefit the people? Of course it was, it was to give them the opportunity to learn something new. The mastery of Light and Dark... Do I fear that this long exertion will have been led for nothing...? "Improve yourself to improve the people." I will give myself these masteries before returning and open many doors for the people. It'll take many generations till the Shaji race of Fenzoshu will all have access to these masteries. But I have some nagging feeling. The rejection that it could bring. It's a different feeling from telling people we can potentially have these masteries and them rejecting my theories. And them outright rejecting these masteries that we-, I can provide. I couldn't find what I wanted to do anymore. This shouldn't have been a set back, and yet, there I was. Standing there. Going back and forth on something that should be uplifting the people, or just giving up. My life long plan. My dream. Now on the edge of my own rejection. A feeling brushed by my leg.
It was Niki. The smoky fur with patches of pitch black and snow white that glinted in the light. It looked up at me, with its clay coloured eyes. Even if it wasn't for the people. It was for me. To find the True Light and Dark. I had finally found a name in which to address my companion. I couldn't help but to smile. I knelt down to pat it before it jumped away and ran to the firepit. Yes, this was a goal I had to see to the end, I couldn't give up part way through from a small setback. With a deep breath, the makeshift cane I was using, I held it up and set it a fiery blaze. Gazing into flame before tossing it in and watching the fire erupt. For what is spare time if I didn't use it, just a waste really. Just like all life, the burning passion, it may take a different shape, but it's all the same. The same light to keep us going to reach for the shadows to be uncovered. Ah, but enough sentimentality, it was something that I didn't want to weigh me down.
While the flames roared in the firepit, I decided now was as good a time as any to deal with my shoulder. Taking in another deep, I prepared myself. A simple Shape to bend the metal over and off, with little blood trickle. Ah, this must have been why I've been so tired. My body must have been Shaping to keep the blood in while under the metal I placed over it. Sigh. If I would have thought that my body was going to end up doing this, I wouldn't have bothered giving myself a stiff shoulder. You never fully know about your body, I suppose. The unconscious effects you have on yourself and your environment can be troublesome from time to time, but, it can also prove to be beneficial. "Let's have a decent meal today." I said to Niki.
After that it was just recovering my Ishu and resting. I had a decent amount of food stockpiled so I was able to take a break from going out and doing more physical experiments. This did give me the chance to examine the crystal that I had taken from before. Turns out it was just salt. It wasn't going to get any closer to Light or Dark, but at least it'll preserve food longer. Well, not the tiny crystal I had. That I used to make some food at least a bit better some night. At some point I did go back to that cave and get some more, enough to fill half of a small pot with it along with a decent sized block for cooking on.
I didn't do much for, hmm, maybe a couple of months. Approximately I'd have to guess around 5 months to a year. Well I say I didn't do much when it was the daily in and out of food, sleep, Shaping, physical workout, and such. Nothing exciting to my research. Winter came and went which I still pretty much did the same thing, the physical work outs were shorter though since I didn't have a winter outfit. Really I only came with about 3, and they were all pretty much the same. One top and jacket were tattered and shredded here and there because it was the one I'd go out to do research in. I did bring a small sewing kit with me in case of tears, but some of these were a lot bigger and not recoverable. I did think of leaving and buying cloth. But I didn't exactly have a way off the island after thinking about it. I was kind of trapped here in a sense. I could try to water Shape my way, but the nearest continent to memory was a week away by boat and I'd be moving much slower than a boat. You know, in theory, Shaping cloth should be possible since it's natural and should carry a small amount of Ishu in it. Armour and weapons can be Shaped because they're made of metal, so what's stopping use from Shaping cloth? Or maybe we can and it's not worth the effort. Hmm. Certainly something to think about. Too bad I never thought about doing that while I had that free time. But I did get to spend more time with Niki in that time.
One thing I did was study the flora and searched through that cave some more. I guess I never did point it out, mostly because of how focused I was on my research and having a sustained living, compared to Fenzoshu it was very different. Because Fenzoshu isn't natural, well it is because it was made by Shaji long ago and they simply Shaped the island into existence from parts of the world around them, but it isn't in the sense of having its own native flora. It's all planted there by Shaji who specialize in plants. Though I believe it's only in certain sections with certain plants and other areas have to be clear for the military section for their warfare and siege training. I haven't 'explored' the island despite living there for 80-some years because I had no interest in the island itself. I should've taken Yè out for a scroll during the night. I'm sure he would've enjoyed the nature and the stars in contrast to the 'fake' night that Fenzoshu has. It's real sunlight, or as real as it gets I suppose, but Fenzoshu never truly gets dark like night since there are those that still have to walk those streets at all hours. Those nights in Xocha were certainly something else. It was actually dark dark, and it was wonderful. On this continent, which I don't think it was named when I came to it, it still gets dark like anywhere else of course, but it's not like that dark of Xocha.
Ah, sorry to get off topic. Where was I? Oh right, the cave did have more than just salt, and yes I did taste anything similar looking to salt to make sure I wasn't grabbing more salt, no the other minerals I found did not taste good. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that no one should be eating minerals in their raw form or really any for that matter, salt being the exception here. Anyways; further exploring it, I did find there to be a system within it. I'm not sure how long I was exploring it, but at some point I did become uncomfortable with how long it felt like I had spent in there. It wasn't claustrophobia, as the first night I spent here was within a shell made of dirt and rock, but something about the creatures in it. They were all blind. Light didn't mean anything to them. Something about the thought of losing my sight and living in total darkness forever made me uneasy. Sure the darkness would help for the True Darkness part, but I also wanted True Light, and being completely unable to see if I've been able to accomplish that would be a disappointment, to say the least. I did find some glowing mushrooms within, but I didn't dare grab them. One section in the medical field that I didn't learn was the PDC, or Poisons and Disease Control. Which is mostly why I have only cultivated my own food and fished. Mushrooms are notorious for causing illness, and being that I'm seas and continents away from anywhere medical, it's not a pleasant thought of taking the risk of adding texture or a flavour to my meals. That first trip in and out had me a bit short of breath, something about being down there from the middle of the day to early night had my chest a bit tight. Just dark to not as dark, especially with those creatures. At this point I just wanted to be home again with some light from my furnace.
It took a few trips but I did manage to find something rather nice. Aurourline, Safs, Suloxyhyte, & Tugillby. All in small quantities, but nonetheless this was a huge find. If I had any talent in Shaping jewels, I could've probably found more, but with Pure Ishu Shaping I was able to find the surface oddity in Ishu with them. Suloxyhyte & Safs could be the actual catalysts that I was looking for. For those that don't know. Aurourline is a jewel that has a very unique appearance in that it's a rainbow, every angle you look at it, it'll always show all 8 colours. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Cyan, Blue, Purple, & Violet. Tugillby is a semi-transparent hazy white. Suloxyhyte is a transparent black. And Safs is a nearly clear jewel. You could be fooled to think it was glass until you've felt it. Now when I say 'surface oddity' I mean that it was different from the rest of the cavern walls, like how you can feel the difference in texture, that's all. My recollection on Toshuto isn't great, but I can't think of anyone using jewels as catalysts. Well I guess except for the lights. I feel like those were made with jewels. Hmm.. There had to be more, right? They simply wouldn't have just made lights and coloured lights then stopped there, there had to be more practical applications that jewels could be used for. Ah, but this isn't my field so maybe I just don't know what I'm talking about.
Before I decided to destroy these jewels with some ideas of my personal theories, I gathered a few stones and cut them down to be more slim and pillar-like. From the two years I had been here, it made me realize that I cannot do it just on my own. Well, I mean, I can, but not in the sense of just myself. I needed tools and I needed the world itself. And if you're of the servitude of the High Deities, I guess their favour as well. Here were my ideas; Various points of Ishu to be drawn in and 'sent' to a center to accumulate. A singular point of high concentrated Ishu. An area of smaller points of various kinds of Ishu. It would be easier to show diagrams of what I'm talking about but you'll have to take my word on it. So, on these Ishu points were to draw in Ishu, it would either have to be the Ishu in the world; Such as anything on the ground and in air, along themselves. Using beasts, since living things tend to have bigger Ishu sources than something like a field of grass because of their general makeup. Or using Cores. Which would mean keeping the beasts alive to drain them of their Ishu. Which isn't a pleasant idea but then there is time of day; Twilight and Dusk seem to be the most appropriate times as both Light and Dark are present. But there is also Midday and Midnight where the presents of Light and Dark are at their peak. Worst case scenario was to go through each variation of this. I really didn't want to have to go through each variation to find out they all didn't work. Also I would have to figure out what to do with the jewels. A hypothesis would be to use the Aurourline as the very center gathering jewel for Ishu to 'burn' off of, with Tugillby & Suloxyhyte, being the represented Light and Dark, used as catalysts. And the Safs being a connected bridge and filtration of Ishu, since I wouldn't want to pump these full of Ishu with the will of ground or something, effectively changing their properties to something I'm not going after. Anyways, the stones would be used as mock versions to test a few of these ideas. Now the scale on these ideas are incredibly large and would take anywhere from a week to a month or two. So I would have to make a very small scale version using existing properties as a proof of concept. Though I guess not entirely true because I wouldn't be doing something new. Well I guess it'd make more sense to me than it would be if I was showing it to someone else to work on it. And being that I want to work with Pure Ishu as opposed to stones moving stones, the analogy only goes so far.
Before setting up the small scale field test, I tested the flow of Ishu through each of them and their retention, or if they had any. If they couldn't do what I was planning on having them do, there wouldn't be much of a point to a field test, now would there? I had to be careful with this research. If I used up all of my jewels then I'd have to go hunting for them once again, and leveling that cave system. Well, it'd be too much trouble to go to that level of effort, honestly. Anyways, I did end up ruining my supply, kind of. Aurourline was able to retain a very good size of Ishu and radiate it. Though it took a few attempts to actually figure out a rough limit on it. The ones that failed happen to shatter and dissipate into, what I could only guess is, Ishu. Oh, I should mention my trial runs with stones as well, as I learned how to make and use Glyphs, or what could be an imitation of them since this wasn't a thing I did back in Fenzoshu. They, uh, didn't go well. Imagine a rock about the size of your palm and thickness of your hand, if not bigger. Got it? Alright, now imagine said rock exploding in a volatile... well explosion. Lucky for me Niki wasn't around and I could feel what was going to happen so I was able to shield at least my collarbone and up thanks to the metal I have constantly wrapped around my metal-blessed arm. though my non-blessed arm and stomach got rained on, or rather penetrated, by rock shards. This is when I learned I shouldn't do Glyph & Ishu research inside my home. Tugillby & Suloxyhyte was more of a tougher thing to test. As I'd have to infuse these nonexistent Ishus into a living thing and then have it Shape them. So at the minimum I needed at least 3 good size jewels of each of them. I believe that having them 'fill' during peak day and night, along with dusk and twilight, would be the best. Having them laid out in a hexagon pattern going from, clockwise starting at the top; Midday Tugillby, Dusk Tugillby, Dusk Suloxyhyte, Midnight Suloxyhyte, Twilight Suloxyhyte, and finally Twilight Tugillby. Having them 'fill' with, essentially the essence of, Light and Dark based on time of day didn't make the most sense to me in some regards, but it was the first logical thing I could come up with. Now it actually 'filling' with said Ishu, or representative of it, would be another thing to come. Etching the Glyphs into jewels without breaking them was certainly a challenge. If I was able to Shape jewels, I could easily carve the symbols I desired. Having to begrudgingly head back to that cavern in search of more of these jewels was something I wasn't looking forward to. But I was delighted to have most of the components working after struggling for nearly a year. Probably closer to 4 or 5 months. Still hard to accurately count time and just basing it off of seasons.
I don't want to bore you with the trial and error of setting up the field test. But I eventually found a configuration that would suit my needs. It didn't look anything too grand, just a bunch of jewels sticking out of the ground. Except for the Tugillby & Suloxyhyte, those I had propped up with a very thin metal structure. I wanted as little other existing Ishu as possible near them. This took about half a year to get all set up and kind of running. Certainly enough time had passed from the previous canine beast experiment that I could check to see if the Shaping knowledge trait that I was able to grant it could be passed down. In theory it should have been because Shaji & Half-Magi do. Though the problem with this after searching for a few days. I only did it to one beast. Not only that, but I quite possibly critically injured the beast as well. So it may have died years ago and was unable to pass it down. At the very least I know I can grant the knowledge with some possible side effects of making them more agitated but that might have come from my distaste for them. Maybe after all this time spent with Niki, it will have improved that. So I decided that it would be the best course of granting Shaping to more beasts and try to do it more of the same kind to increase the chances. It struck me. My first encounter with the boar a few years ago, or I believe was a few years ago during this time, was able to Shape. Or something similar. It was able to harden its tusks. This could have been from inexperience from handling tusks or live beasts. The best theory I came up with is that beasts are able to Shape, just not traditional Shaping that we would consider to be Shaping. What we could call an Incident, which is Shaping your surroundings through emotion with no direct control, they are able to use their instinctual reaction to Shape. Possibly with some or all direct control. Though if this extends to their surrounds is yet to be seen. In theory it does because the canine was able to Shape a breeze, though it may have only been itself and its rapid movement that caused the breeze. Which is a monumental finding if so, because if we Shapers could control Incidents to be less chaotic, we could harness such emotional states for higher Shaping. We could draw out so much more potential putting ourselves in such situations that we could become like the supposed Mystics. Now do I believe in their existence? Not entirely. But I've heard rumours from the other staff, Yè didn't seem to believe they existed. Shaji who could Shape the entire world if they wanted to. Absurd. No Shaji ever has had that strength. Not even the ones who made Fenzoshu. Could a Shaji reach such a height? Plausible but highly unlikely. I mean, being able to move an entire continent? Impossible. Moving an island? I guess that could happen, but a singular Shaji doing it just doesn't seem possible without a massive scale Incident. But even then, they would most certainly kill themselves doing so. I partially believe they exist, but not to the strength that they've been rumoured to have. They could be stronger than your average Judge.
Hmm? Ah? Oh. Sorry, I didn't realize I had gotten off subject. So I went around and did my usual Pure Ishu Shaping to various beasts. These I didn't stay around to see if they could. I trusted that I was able to grant them all the knowledge. This one took some time as well. I want to say it was close to 10 years, maybe 15. Honestly by the time that I started doing this I had lost track of the time I had spent there. While I don't want to skip around the time frame so much, I feel it's necessary because nothing really happened to be entertaining enough for a story. While in the beginning I was telling you day by day, because it was new. These were new things that I was doing for the first time. But these. I'm doing the same repetitive motions day in and out. There was nothing special about these days. Think about your life. Can you exactly recall what you did everyday for a year? Or do you only recall moments or days? I see no need to repeat these meaningless days as if they were a new experience. Yè would be upset at me for saying that though. He'd berate me for saying that everyday was meaningless if it didn't have something new and special in it. No matter the context, he'd say that everyday had meaning. Like the crops we raise, we grow everyday. Everyday means something even if it's the same thing. Haha. Yè... I wonder what he did all this time I had been gone. When I lost track of the days, months, and years. Did he remember them all? Did. Did it hurt Yè? The separation for so long. Did you question if this was your fault? Did you question yourself? Were you good enough? Did you do everything you could? Was this the right path? Well. Don't worry Yè. Nothing about you was wrong. Nothing was your fault. If anything I should've taken you with me. Yè... I missed seeing your face everyday. Even on our off days when you'd come over unannounced. Even if you found your way in. I'm not sure if I was good enough to you. This was selfish of me.
There was a day within that 10-15 year span when I saw a stranger on the continent. I had granted knowledge to a beast when I heard someone behind me say something. "What's going on here? You don't normally see anyone out here." They looked like they'd just come from a city, their clothes were neat, Fenzoshu and Iastea fashion from what I remember. I couldn't tell if they had any visible Blessings, so I wasn't sure if they were Human or Shaji, or mixed. But they didn't have anyone else with them. Seemingly no way here, no one around, doesn't look like they've been out here for longer than an hour.
"No. You don't seem to be from around these parts either." I didn't want to say that I've been here, but I could only imagine from my roughed up clothes and unkempt hair that I couldn't have looked like I've only been here a short time.
"I was simply checking the land, I hear no one has been here for many years." I'm sure.
"I don't think anyone's had a reason to come here. There are plenty of rich resources everywhere and no existing settlements would make it difficult for trading."
"Of course. But if you wanted to be alone, this would certainly be the place." There was a silence between us. Neither of us wanted to show our hand. I wasn't sure how to get more info out of them without revealing more of my own, but there is always a gamble.
"Anything in particular you're looking for? I've only been here for awhile but I can tell you what I know." Just feign ignorance, we weren't near the home I had built, so I would count myself as lucky.
"You haven't happen to have seen anyone else out here?"
"No. Just you."
"What are you doing out here? I don't believe I asked."
"Nothing particular, just examining the beasts." Not entirely false but should be good enough.
"Oh, are you a researcher of sorts?"
"No. Just an artist. I'm compiling all the differences of various similar beasts from around the world." As long as they don't probe it too much, this should be a simple lie.
"An artist but you've been out here for some time, doesn't seem like the kind of place an artist would be."
"Art is pain, as they say."
"How did you get here?"
"By boat of course. There really isn't any other way to travel to such an unknown land."
"This is true, but I didn't see any boats docked here, nor is there any place to dock them."
"Well, it's a small one, I came in from the south."
"Funny that, I came in from the south as well." Yet you came from the north. "If it was a small one, it might've gotten washed away. Do you need a way back?" I could leave for a short time back to Iastea or Xocha and pick up some supplies. Only problem is that I don't have any money for either. Though being away from Niki might cause her some alarm, but it wouldn't be anything new to be gone for some stretches of time. seemed like I could only disappear from people's lives for periods of time. Maybe this is why I never really made connections.
"Ah, I guess a trip back to Xocha would be appreciated but if my boat was washed away then so was any money I was carrying with me."
"Strange to have money with you but be based out of Xocha." Great.
"Ah, well, it'd be for supplies, I'm not done here yet and my supplies are running low, or rather, they're gone now, and Xocha would be the closest place. I'm actually based out of Omadoriand." I just wanted them to stop asking questions and let things go. "Are you from Iastea?"
"Yes. I am just a simple land owner looking to expand." I doubt that, the Fenzoshu clothes don't exactly say you're a land owner of any kind, but there wasn't much I could have gotten out of them.
I noticed their face suddenly had a faint expression of surprise, the next thing I knew, a splitting pain through my lower left gut. Instinctively putting my hand down by the pain, I wasn't sure what had happened. Did I catch something? I was then lifted and thrown to the side. The boar had awakened. I had taken my mind off of it and completely forgot about it. I could hear the sound of wind cracking, did I give it some kind of wind knowledge? Suddenly my mind was just blank of what I did with it. How silly of me. This person, what I could only assume is a Shaji, was light on their feet and holding nothing, but it would appear that they had a grip on something in their left hand. The boar charged at them, back and forth, I could see blood slashed into the air with the sound of a sharp crack. It was like they were using a whip. The boar had flames coming from its mouth with each breath. Its tusks began to glow a faint orange. It was just like the other one. Beasts had to be self Shapers or Augmentors. Standing to my feet, I got ready for when the boar came closer to me. Throwing a small crystal of blood into it, I quickly Shaped it to expand and amass with the blood within it to make a large crystal blood spike forth. I knew the only way this was gonna stop was with it dying. It fell to the ground with some speed at the Shaji, who in response to me because it might've looked like it was an intentional attack, whipped me. I didn't have the fastest response to this, there was now a lash from chest to shoulder.
"H-hold on!" Raising my hand, waving. "I'm not a threat! It was to stop it!" Great. Now I had two things to deal with.
"This was your doing! Did you make this thing?!" I didn't want to call attention to myself.
"No, I said I'm here to study the animals." If I killed them, I wouldn't have to worry about that attention. But if they are a part of Fenzoshu in the government somewhere. There might be an issue. But why did I consider this? This isn't illegal by Fenzoshu standards, these are just beasts.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Niki running in. In a flash, she went down.
"Niki! No!" Scrambling to my companion. She got whipped in the neck. Even stopping the blood flow, I could still feel her fading. It would be too dangerous to transfuse blood to her. Mixing blood from different races would result in rejection. I didn't want her to leave, even in her older age, I knew she didn't have much time left. But this isn't how she would've wanted to go. I had an idea. I didn't have much time with the slow death that she was experiencing, but it was enough. It had to have been enough time. It took some time but, running back to the site that I had ready for capturing Light and Dark. I was going to use the jewels. not the Tugillby & Suloxyhyte, but Aurourline & Safs. This was a last ditch effort. Normally no one would go this far for a beast. But Niki meant so much to me that I couldn't let her go to something like this. I had to add a few new etches into a 2 Aurourline & a Safs. I was going to link our spirits together. In theory it would keep the other alive and keep their body alive to regenerate like normal, but it would stress both of our spirits. I'm sure I had enough spirit for a beast of the size of Niki. We should be compatible as well from the time spent together. Only Pure Ishu Shapers would be able to accomplish such a task like this. I know I had emotions flowing out, There could have been an Incident if I wasn't careful. But this may have been categorized as an Incident.
"Don't panic Niki, this'll hurt a bit. Take slow breaths and don't move. You have to trust me." Making a small cut into Niki's chest, I could feel her trying to squirm. "Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be... Please..." Then pushing the jewel in. With Pure Ishu Shaping, I connected the Ishu from the jewel into her core. Then I sutured the cut as best as I could. Now I just had to do it to myself. Deep breaths, clear mind. I kept telling myself over and over. Nothing will go wrong. It'll work out. Pushing the jewels into my cut wound. It was painful. Our cores are located in the chest. Just right below where our collarbones are. Incredibly painful to push through bone. I'm not sure how it all worked. But I was able to get both in, and somehow still be able to move. I cannot Shape bones or jewels. Maybe it was the Higher Deities. Maybe it was the world. Whatever it was, it let me keep Niki and myself alive. This now meant that I couldn't stray that far from Niki nor vice versa. I was overjoyed to see Niki able to get up and move again, like there was no issue. And now I could feel her emotions and partially her thoughts. I couldn't tell if she could grasp our language. But I could make out what she would be saying to me now. One of those things was being idiotic and not letting her die. I'm sure Yè would say the same if I did the same for him or if he knew about this.
Now the few tops I did bring with me I had to cut a section into them for the jewels. A very minor thing to trade out in keeping my companion alive.
It was from that, I could feel the Ishu around me. Shapers can normally feel the Ishu around them. Pure Ishu Shapers specially. But this was a different feeling. It was like a sixth sense in a way. I was able to 'see' in a small field around me, or rather feel. But just in my mind I could see the blurred, partially distorted, rough blocks of things around me. Well, it was more like after years of simple existing it became like that. At the start when I noticed it, it was more like extra white space in my mind that I was able to notice that didn't seem right.
At the end of those years, I did see the fruits of my labor. This knowledge can be passed down. Though I may have inadvertently messed too much with the beasts of this continent. Because now they're all gonna have some kind of ability to Shape, or rather use their Reactionary Shaping. I never did find a good phrase to name this.
But then came the worst day of my life that has ever happened.
It began like any other so my daily expectations were set for a normal day. But part way through the morning to midday, I heard a familiar voice. "Beixi?" One that I couldn't have mistaken for any other. "Is that really you, Beixi?" It had to be him. "You look so... different." I was skeptical because I didn't think I would have actually seen him again. "How did you end up this way?" I turned to look, and. I didn't believe it. It was him. Yè... "Life must have been tough out here for your blessings to continue as they did. And that jewel in your chest. What did you do to yourself?" Yè... I'm so glad to have seen your face again. "Beixi..." It was hard to say, I was overcome with so much joy. "It's been almost 30 years Beixi."
"Yè..."
I wasn't sure what to say or do... Nearly 30 years... I had lost track of so much time that it felt kind of unreal. I wanted to see them up close again, so I took my step towards him. He responded by taking a couple of steps back. I was confused by this reaction. He always came to me in the years we knew each other, in the 40 years that we knew each other and nearly 10 that we worked together, this was a very different reaction than I would have thought from him.
"I'm.. I'm sorry Beixi. Are you still.. you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are you still the same Beixi from years ago? The one that would always work with me?"
"Yes."
"The one that would always buy us wani?"
"Of course." I didn't understand. I was still me, it's not like there was some other Shaji out studying the effects of Shaping and Beasts.
"Always talking about True Light and Dark.. Did you find it?"
"I've come close. Studying the effects of Shaping of-"
"Beixi. Have you looked at yourself?"
As a reflex, I looked at my metal blessed arm. 30 years ago there were only small metal-like jagged protrusions. But now my entire arm has become metal-like. It's still all organic, so it's not like someone with a metal preferred Shaping would be able to control my arm. But, I never noticed how much this particular blessing has advanced through the years. I never really kept up with my appearance since there was no one around. I know I had scars here and there. Washing off dirt and filth only does so much. My few clothes could only take so much before they started to deteriorate from everything that has gone on.
"I ask again. Are you the same EnbiTerra Beixi?" Yè's breath steadied and their words grew cold. I could feel the temperature starting to drop, even though the sun was reaching its peak without a cloud. Yè's Shaping had grown much more. He was never a fighter, but 30 years can change someone. I could tell by the stance he took that he was going to go with soil. But I was stunned by his actions that I didn't get ready myself. I never would have thought that he'd raise his hand against me. I had always thought that we saw eye to eye. Even in our disagreements, we'd always yield to one another for we never held any malice to each other. We cared about each other too much too. He didn't say a word but I could read what he was saying. I'm sorry.
He pulled the dirt under my foot to the side causing me to fall to a knee with the dirt coming back in to bury my leg. I countered with raising a dirt wall in front of me and releasing my leg. I could feel his Ishu in it. Trace amounts, but I could get more of how he felt from it. This isn't what he wanted. So why? Ice crystals forming all around and falling with incredible speed. This is new, he couldn't shape Ice this well before. Shaping the wall in front of me to also cover above me. Standing to my feet to be ready what was coming next. There was a delay before holes started to be punched through in the wall. I pushed back on the wall with my Ishu, unless he's gotten incredibly stronger, he shouldn't be able to push through my Ishu. For a moment I didn't feel anything. Then I could feel a huge force against the wall. Like it was pushing me down. Then it came in pulses. The wall was starting to crack, same with my Ishu that I was putting in it. One pulse broke through on the side, a terra fist. He was using Augmentation Shaping. Before the next pulse came in, I threw the wall back, or what remained of it. With a hard thud, it fell with no resistance. I could see hands on the side of it. Yè lifted the wall and hurled it back at me. Deflecting it out of the air to the side was easy. I grew used to Shaping things in mid flight. But I saw too late that Yè was running at me in a full sprint. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to hurt him. With his fist back and ready he landed a direct hit to my chest, pushing me away slightly, with the follow up of more punches. I tried to block or parry as many as I could, while a bit short on breath there were some still getting in. Every punch I could feel he was pulling them. I could feel in the Ishu around us that he didn't want to hurt me, this isn't what he wanted to do when he saw me, he doesn't want to kill me. So then why was he doing this to me? Yè. What happened to you to cause you to do this? He grabbed my wrist and pulled one of my legs out, throwing me to the side. Was he combat trained now? If so then he has learned a lot more than I have and must be from the military of Fenzoshu. Before I could get up, he was on top of me. Grappling each other, I didn't want to be fully pinned down, he said to me "If you are the same Beixi, then why haven't you answered me." The air around us felt wet. Yè hadn't changed that much, still wore his emotions on his sleeve. It left a bitter taste. Pushing back with all my might, I managed to get my feet under him and kick him away. Giving me a chance to get up. He landed on his back and I took this opportunity to take a quick breath, nothing damaged, just bruised.
"Of course I'm still the same Beixi, Yè. You know this." I can't discern reasoning and thoughts through Ishu, so whatever was causing Yè to act this way, was only going to be told to me. The only thing that I can find with his Ishu, that he is thankfully wearing on his arms, is the constant reinforcement of sorrow, reluctantness, and apologetic. Yè... I do forgive you. Whatever reason you're doing this, it's not in your nature and you hate that you have to do this. I don't put any blame on you for this event. I wanted to talk to him, but it wasn't the time, and it pains us both.
Back on his feet, Yè threw his fists forward, launching his Augmentation at me. I was able to avoid one of them, but the other grazed my shoulder, making a shallow cut. Charging me once again, ice forming around his fists, with them raised, but this time I was ready for him. Bringing his fists down, I pushed them away, immediately he pushed himself away from the ground with a knee to my abdomen. Clenching his teeth with a deep breath, he followed up with a solid headbutt. It knocked me back and down to a knee and hand, everything was a bit dizzy from the blow for a bit. He's gotten stronger for sure. I can't keep up with his hand-to-hand abilities, he certainly didn't have this level of close quarters combat when I left. Quickly standing up, I rose the ground beneath him entombing him within and crashing back into the ground at a distance away. The case exploded with chunks of dirt and stone flying in all directions. Ice spears quickly following the destruction in my direction. Grazing me more, I hurled more rock and ground at him. I wanted to use my metal, flame, anything. But I didn't want to kill him nor hurt him, the only thing I could think to do during this was to use slabs of dirt and rock to try and incapacitate him.
"Why Beixi?!" Yè cried out, his ice Augmentation melting into steam. Grabbing one of the rocks, he Augmented Shaped it into fists once again, this time much bigger, punching the rest of the rocks with such force that they shattered to pieces. Slamming his fists on the ground, causing a rift in my direction. Jumping to the side and out of the way, yelling again. "Why do they call you the HuntedAugmentor then?! If you’re the same Beixi, then why?!!" I could feel the entire ground starting to quiver. So, that's who that was. That mysterious Shaji must have been an Agent. That would explain how Yè found me.
"I only did what I had to! My research hasn't even finished! I haven't be able to-"
"Is that why you came out to such a barren place?! To break laws?!"
I was stunned, he wasn't wrong, but he wasn't right either. "Yes! That's why I'm out here! I didn't want to test on Shaji from the start without knowing the effects it would have!"
"A Third of my life is gone because of this!" What? What did he mean by this? "Do you understand the pain I went through for these past thirty years?!" He closed his eyes, hands on his head, shaking. The Augmentation Shaping falling from his arms.
"I-"
"No!" Ice crystals spiking up from the ground in all directions around Yè. "Of course not! How would you understand when your mind has only been set on this one thing?!"
"Yè. Please. Let me-" Taking a step forward. The terrain was shifting.
"I never wanted to see you go! What kind of life did you have planned for me?! Did our time together mean nothing to you?!" The Ishu in the area was becoming wild, fluctuating. He was about to erupt. There are small incidents like this, a Shaji's emotions getting out of control to such an extreme degree that the environment around them starts to disrupt and cause irregularities.
"Of course it meant something to me Yè!" Sparks in the air, puffs of flame sparking in and out.
"Did you ever love me Beixi?!" Yè jumped forward to me, tears streaming down his cheeks. Anger in his expression.
Before I could answer, a beam of energy shot past me and through Yè's side. I looked on in horror. The one person I cared the most for in life. The one I loved. Shot down before I could settle down with him.
"Y-"
"YÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈ!!!"
"YÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈ!!!!!!!"
"THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!! YÈÈÈÈÈÈÈ!!!"
Everything became a bit hazy, I watched on as Yè's body fell to the ground, no movement to catch himself. Running to him, nearly tripping over myself.
"Yè... Please... This can't happen... Not to you..." I fell next to him, turning him over, looking at his freshly made hole. There was too much damage. His lower rib, lower part of his lung, half of his stomach, half of his elbow and part of forearm, it was all incinerated. He had suffered too much damage. I couldn't save him. I couldn't even Shape even if I wanted to. Holding his hand, my other hand under his head. I couldn't hold it in anymore. He had trouble breathing and couldn't move his arm. "Yè.. I loved you. I have for a long time. I did so much for you. I wanted you to live a comfortable life while I was gone. I'm sorry it took me so long.. Yè please.. Yè... It can't end like this.." Pained in expression, Yè tried his best to smile. He couldn't say anything back. "Please don't die.. Please let this be a dream.. an illusion.. anything.. I- I can't lose you Yè.." Curling up to him, I didn't want to move him as best as I could, but I wanted him close to me. I could feel his spirit starting to dissipate. This wasn't how I wanted our last day to be. I wanted to Shape his spirit still. I wanted to grab onto him. I didn't want him to leave me. Not like this. But I didn't want him to suffer any more than he already was. I could feel another presence near me. I could tell it was Niki, asking me what had happened. I couldn't say anything to her, but she could feel what was going on. She laid her head on Yè's chest. I couldn't keep this inside anymore. I cried out.

"YÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈÈ!!!!!!!!!!"

I couldn't see anything after that. It was both simultaneously too bright and too dark to see anything. The catalyst-link in my chest shattered, my link to Niki was gone. When my vision returned, so too did the feeling of being somewhere. I could barely tell that there was any Ishu around. I was laying on my back. It was hard to sit up. There were 2 figures in front of me. Standing tall. Rubbing my eyes, to try and make out the figures. They were covered in fur on most of their body. And they had a tail. What were these things? Were they always here? Looking around I could see the damage to the ground all around. Chunks of the ground floating. The geography didn't look the same anymore, everything was upturned. Large parts of the earth were sticking up like someone had dug in and started to lift. Panicking, I looked around for Yè's body. "Where did you go Yè..?" I wanted to hold him near me again. I wanted to look at him again. I wanted him again. One of the things knelt down and patted me on the head. I didn't understand.
"Here. Bai. chi." The thing had trouble speaking, like it was its first time saying these words in a tongue that it had never used before. Everything was hazy, it was hard to tell some things apart. But just from feeling the Ishu in the surrounding space, whatever this Thing in front of me was. It wasn't something I had seen before. Rubbing my eyes didn't really help, but upon doing so, I could tell that something was wrong with me. My Metal-blessed hand felt different, my eyes didn't seem.. Right. I was still confused about the whole thing that was going on, I couldn't parse some things correctly. The other Thing, which I'll refer to as 'Creature' to make things easier, put their hand on the Thing's shoulder. Following their gaze I could partially see two figures in the distance, along with there being various kinds of spikes, floating terrain, and speckles of some kind of light and darkness. Why was my sight fine only a bit ago but now wasn't? But the Thing and Creature started to turn transparent and took off at incredible speeds, sprinting towards the other two. I couldn't parse what was happening in the distance that well, so I staggered to my feet to look around me. Something happened here and I didn't know what had happened. I was a bit panicked since Yè & Niki were missing, my sight was partially robbed, and the catalyst-link I had in my chest was gone. I did a quick examination of my body to see if anything else was wrong. My clothes were as they were. My Metal-blessed arm didn't feel right. I couldn't fully feel like I was standing on my legs. My body had this phantom feeling, it's hard to describe the feeling exactly. I felt like I was in two places at once. Like seeing an afterimage but instead of seeing, it's entirely a feeling. At any moment I was going to fall through the ground into an endless void of nothingness or something. I wanted to relax, but as best as I could, I couldn't. There was too much on my mind to even try to relax and assess the situation. Moving was kind of taxing to try and do. Just the way my body and mind felt, was so different. It's just very hard to try and describe how it was at that point. I don't know the right words to put into feeling how separated yet whole I felt physically, and yet some kind of metaphysical state, that I was in. Honestly it was fascinating. But I had to find that Thing and Creature again. They appeared to be friendly enough. I took a deep breath and concentrated on Pure Ishu Shaping. I just needed to throw a very faint field to 'see' where to go. It was tough to try and do it. My core didn't feel right either. Like my body and spirit were on two different.. What are they called, planes? realities? existences? I never did study that kind of area. But I instead went with a different method of tossing more like a net in a given area, though not really with Pure Ishu. Instead, I was able to use the Ishu in the surrounding space. It felt familiar, like it was a part of me. Like it was also Yè's and Niki's. Two people in my life that meant the most to me.
I can't very well say 'there' even though that's what I thought. Trying to run over in the direction that I felt multiple bodies, I must have looked silly, like I was exhausted but still trying to run. It was also odd that I could feel everything around me at a much larger distance than I could before. Has my partial sight loss extended the talent of being able to feel Ishu of everything further? There was destruction happening before me. Flames, sparks, lightning, crystals, rocks. Even if my vision couldn't make out the figures exactly, I knew one of them was that Agent, and the other had to be some upper military. That must have been the one that shot the energy. Angerly, I tried to shape the dirt under them, to sink them into the ground. But they were moving too fast, or I was Shaping too slow. But the Thing and Creature seemed to give them a run for their abilities. They looked like they were phasing in and out of existence as they rained down blows and tossed them around almost like they were nothing. The military one was thrown near me, their metal armor clunking to the ground as they failed to recover. The Thing came back in, leaping down onto them and smashing their chest, I could hear the metal crack and what must have been bone breaking. It stabbed into their abdomen with its hand. No. Claws. It didn't pull anything out, but it did pull their arm, stomping onto their head and pulling it out of its socket. This Thing didn't want the quick kill, it wanted them to suffer. "Why are you doing this to them?" I don't know why I said it, maybe a brief bit of shaji-ity. The military Shaji wanted to cry, I could feel their emotions, they were in intense pain. Like the thing became impatient with this Shaji's response and it picked them up, by the head, squeezing on it. The helmet slowly starting to crack. It ended it swiftly. It roared as it stabbed into the Shaji's throat and ripped out part of their spine. I was a bit sickened by it's display of brutalism. I didn't want them to die, just to suffer. Or maybe I did want them to die. Because they were the ones that killed Yè. I wanted my revenge, but I wasn't the one that did it. "No! You shouldn't have kill them!" Why was I speaking out about them? I wanted them to suffer and die. The ears on the top of its head went back, like a child being scolded by their parent, it must have felt a bit guilty. Looking for the Creature, I saw it throwing the Agent around like they were a canine's toy. Tossing, throwing, and slamming them into the ground. I don't think they had as much malice for this Shaji, but they took part in what happened, so it wanted to hurt them. The Agent put their hand up, most likely to defend themselves with a Shape, but the Creature grabbed arm and squeezed down onto it, till it broke. It was growing impatient as well, but Agent let out a cry of pain. So it was entertaining the Creature more than the military one did the Thing. "Stop! Don't kill that one! Let them leave." I let out, trying to get over to them. The Creature let go of them and seemingly blinked out of existence.
Tears in their eyes. "Y-you'll pay for this B-Beixi!! Y-you've made yourself even more of an e-enemy of Fenzoshu."
"What do you mean? I didn't do anything wrong."
"Y-you’re now known as the Hunted A-augmentor because of what you've done to these b-beasts!"
"But they were just beasts. They live much shorter-"
"That doesn't m-matter! You gave them the a-ability to S-Shape! That's in clear v-violation of the law! And now you've made t-these things, along with the m-murder of GengealPyro Lín. Your t-title will become F-Forbidden now!"

Holding their wrist, the Agent fled. "Do not give chase to that Shaji." Directing my words coldly to the Creature looking at the Agent running away. staggering back to a sitting position. I couldn't keep myself standing anymore. The thing leaned in for a hug. It felt soft and nice. I couldn't help but to start crying. Yè.. Yè, I miss you. It went even further and I started to break down even more, my body felt limp. Nothing felt real anymore. Yè. I loved you and now you are gone forever. Trying to return the hug, I couldn't lift my arms, my body rejected everything I told it, my mind was filled with nothing but sorrow for Yè. The other one came in as well for a hug. It was all too much for me. Whatever these things were, was all I had left now.

I could never return to Fenzoshu again.

Never to see my old home again.

Buy wani again.

Yè again.

Again.

My mind drifted off after that and everything went black.
In, what I could guess to call, my sleep, it felt like an eternity of reliving that day. But the ending was always the same. There wasn't anything I could do to have stopped Lín from killing Yè, and Me. But why did Yè come? Did he put in a missing person's request? It seems like something Fenzoshu wouldn't bother with. Maybe it was my position that nudged them in looking for me. But that Agent. Yè. I saw them, what had to be quite a few years prior to this happening. Why the delay then? Certainly that Agent could've brought Yè to see me shortly after the meeting. Did they train Yè to detain me? Did I look like I lost my sanity and their only connection in bringing me was through someone that knew me? Hunted. The military was already considered after me, so why try to detain me instead of killing me on the spot? I don't understand their motives or why they acted like that. Yè. None of it made sense. If the military wanted someone dead, they'd do it, that's what they do with Hunted and Forbidden titles. Did they want me for my research? Don't they normally kill people like me? Yè. Those Things. Just what were they? Yè's body and Niki, I couldn't feel them around after that... Whatever that event was. How could something be so bright and yet too dark at the same time? There was nothing certain about what had happened. Yè. Nothing seemed real because none of it made sense. It had to be a fever dream. I was going to wake up and everything will be normal. Yè and Lín will be alive. Those Things don't exist. Yè. my sight will be fine.

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