My Life as a Creator - Chapter 1

Well that title isn't entirely correct, nor is it wrong. I am a Shaper by birth, so I create with my will, but most importantly the largest Shape that I've done defied the Higher Deities. But is it really defying? I have made something in the same vein that they have. I have imitated them in creating new life. No. That's not correct. I've changed something that they've made. Just like how they changed us many centuries ago. Just like how we were once humans, unable to shape this world. I have given a non-Shaper the power to shape, but in a different aspect. Well, it's not really Shaping in our sense. What they create is fake, while ours is real. But, that's not true either. It is based on their Will just like ours, so does that make it a Shape? It's not a World Shape as it's not natural, but it's concept is natural as any other. It's tough to say as it's unique. It is both real and fake at the same time, quite a conundrum I'll admit and I'm the creator of it. Ah, listen to me ramble, it may be my postmortem and yet I still don't have answers to even my own questions. Well, let's begin shall we.
It first started back in Intermediate schooling. I had become obsessed with the Light and Dark aspects. The two that we were taught were out of our control. We are taught that the Higher Deities created essentially everything within the universe and pretty much everything that ever existed. That everything has Ishu within it, except for Void. I would argue that even a basic Fire can create Light. And Solid can create Dark. But their answer back was always the same. "It is a byproduct. It is not True Light or Dark." But they were right, I was foolish and blind. I argued with my studies and with myself. Our Lightgiver surely had to have manipulable Ishu. Just like the wind that carries Ishu, we are able to manipulate that. But try as we might, we cannot manipulate Light, Dark, or their Disciples. Perhaps Light & Dark don't actually exist, and the Shaji gave them a name and image to try and explain things. And it's just been so widely accepted within Fenzoshu that no one bothers to dispute it without the risk it carries to question our entire society's view on what is Light & Dark. I may have questioned it as a student but that is viewed differently than someone on the streets going around telling people what they know is a fallacy, as trivial as something as Light & Dark is. This concept that you can't control and has very little affect on your life because you live within the safety of the tower built by our ancestors long ago.
I always held onto the idea of being able to manipulate Light & Dark. I won't claim that I was the first to have this idea, because of the invention of the Toshuto we were able to go from lighting our great home with fire and flames with some actual light, a copycat of the Lightgiver. Fascinating things. I was never an inventor myself, never had the talent for it. It takes a special kind of person to make those things, let alone make them work. But we're not here to talk about the inventors. I earned my titles. Few from mastery tests, others from positions. I'll give myself the credit of being talented with Shaping, it might not sound like much coming from a Shaji, but comparatively to all those on the lower levels, I had more of a talent. Mastery tests in Blood, Metal, Water Aspects. Positions for Medic and Agriculture.
Being a Pure Ishu manipulator though, that is not something I would have seen within myself. We are very special people. Now. Being a Pure Ishu manipulator is very different than your average Shaper. As mentioned before, everything has Ishu in it yes. So manipulating an aspect is manipulating the Ishu within it, that Ishu is bound to it's aspect or object. But, those of us with the talent of being a Pure Ishu manipulator, we can grab that Ishu and we can Shape it without touching the aspect or object. Let me give you an example: Say you have a ball in your hand. And you stick your hand into a jar of syrup, release the ball inside, and pull your hand out. It's a simple way to look at because your inserting or retrieving an object and some of the syrup would stick to your hand when pulling it out. Which is similar in it's own way. But in this scenario, the ball is your Will and the syrup is anything in existence, provided it has Ishu that is. That may sound like it doesn't do anything, but you've just inserted extra Ishu into it and there many possibilities that may happen, because Ishu and Aspects are not like balls and syrup where there's only one outcome, the syrup gets displaced. Now with extra Ishu in this Aspect what would happen? Well, what could happen? That is up to whatever influence you put into it to be merged into the surrounding Ishu. Hmm... I guess that makes the ball analogy not make as much sense, as it would be closer to something dissolving and mixing into it, but you're still holding it and inserting it within and pulling your hand out. Metaphorically speaking. But that is the interesting thing of being a Pure Ishu manipulator. It's not as pure as you're lead to believe. Because you're inserting your influence, your Will, your Ishu. It's no longer pure and it never was to begin with because it's bound to it's aspect. The whole study is very messy with it's documentation and trying to teach such things to those without the talent is very difficult. Why does this all matter? What does any of this have to do with my punished title of ForbiddenCreator? Well, it's all buildup of course. To understand how they came to be, past whatever story you probably heard.
Whenever I would talk to Colleagues and friends about grasping Light & Dark, they'd give a generic response of something "Sure you will." and "Non World Shapes aren't meant for Shaji hands." It was annoying. We are mere steps away with these Glyphs. We can make Light and possibly Dark. We might even be able to make their disciples' Aspects as well. No. They wouldn't assist me. But they would realize that I did it. That I was the first Shaji to truly make True Light & Dark with my own hands without the need of Glyphs. That's to say if my work wasn't destroyed and my name wasn't smeared, which I would assume the former didn't happen, but that the latter did. That's to say if they even bothered with naming me past my punishment Title. But I know and that's all that really matters doesn't it? The Shaji teachings of self improvement. Well I improved so far that no one will be able to compare to me. Now if only they'd learn from my improvement. Well that should be enough setup, correct? Let's begin the story, shall we?
The first day that it started I would have to say is when I set out to Rinite Yenusho, but at the time it didn't have a name. The day before I left for my travels, I had a conversation with the lead. I didn't need people to look for me because I disappeared. I remember that conversation between the Lead and I, hahaha.
"You can't be serious." He stared me down.
"Very much so. I will achieve what I've been saying for years."
"EnbiTerra Beixi..." Index and middle finger rubbing his forehead "I know you've been told this since we were in Intermediate Studies, but those Shapes aren't ours to control."
"So you should know this time I will be leaving." I turned away, no longer facing my superior, but I could still see him out of the corner of my eye.
Shocked. "Wait, what? You're just leaving your position and the Tower?"
"That's right."
Head in one of his hands, the other hand waving away in a dismissive manner. "Beixi... Beeeeeixiiii. You're kidding right. Someone of your talent should go into Invention Studies or even Advance Studies. Your Shaping is incredible and you're a Pure Ishu Shaper as well."
"And that's exactly why. I believe I have figured out a way to truly Shape Light and Dark."
"By leaving everything behind."
"Correct." I pause for a second before turning to face him with a small smile. "We could keep having the same conversation if you want, we could also be productive at the same time if we're going to be talking in circles."
"Sorry," He waves his hand in disagreement "this a bit much that my closest friend for the past 40 plus years and colleague for the past 10 years is suddenly going to leave and I'll most likely never see them again."
"Hmm... I see. Would it have been better then if I just left without telling my superior of my whereabouts?"
"Ehh... I- I suppose you are correct."
"EnbiTerra Yè, you should have known that this day was coming. We're in our 80's now. And what have we contributed to our beloved tower? I've improved myself and took two positions that assisted the people. Neither of which has improved our culture. And yourself?"
He pauses, suddenly having to recount his life. "... I guess I haven't really thought of it. I've been in this position for quite some time."
"Exactly. Our people's saying only seems to apply to those with the talent."
"'Improve yourself and improve the people with it.'..." He mutters to himself.
"And what knowledge have we passed down?"
"The knowledge to grow crops?"
"But that knowledge already existed before us."
"Hmm... Then what?"
"Oh come now. We're passing down knowledge that already existed without improvement."
He scratches his chin with a small sigh. "I get your point, we're living purposeless."
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're the lead after all. Not even I, a Pure Ishu Shaper, was able to take your position in these 8 years."
"Yeah. Can't imagine the more talented one isn't in a leading position for some reason, like they've rejected every opportunity to take the position or intentionally self sabotaged themselves during exams."
"Hahaha, you paint me in such a light."
He points his, soil blessed, finger at me. "I've seen you at your best, and I know you're more talented than me, even excluding your Pure Ishu talent, your liquid and soil compositions are much better than mine."
I shrugged. "Well before I leave, allow me to buy you wani."
"Huh? How's this any different than any other day?"
"Well, it'll be our final wani together."
"Hey! Don't say that! I'll see you again!" I could see the flash from anger to anxiousness.
"Haha. I'm sure you will."

And we continued our day. Just like normal till we were off shift and made our way to his favorite eatery, can't say I recall the name. He was right, I'd always buy us wani even though we would be granted about the same amount of currency. I was doing it for 10 years. And that was our final one together. Hotpot. That was our final meal together. I could tell he was holding back his sadness as we conversed. It's not hard to tell when you're around a liquid Shaper all the time, especially during a meal. Emotion affects the Ishu around you, and when you're close to one. Well your drinks don't taste how they normally do. It might be easy to unconsciously hold back tears because of your talent, the controlling of liquid, but you might not notice that suddenly your drinks are more bitter than how they normally were. Every sip, it was almost like liquid sadness. Even a part of that, I know he was putting up a good front. We've been around each other for so long, and suddenly we weren't going to be seeing each other anymore. Now, I'm not a monster, I also felt some sadness that I was leaving him behind. But in case something terrible were to happen, I didn't want to drag him into it. It was almost like leaving a lover behind for your own selfish goals, you feel the sadness and regret, but this was something that I could only do. He was a good fellow, a bit too grounded. Having your head in the clouds isn't necessarily a bad thing. Big ideas have to come from somewhere, certainly not from thinking in the now.
Then I set out. I didn't make a straight line to Rinite. No, I traveled around the world for awhile. Looking for a suitable spot to start my experiments. At first it was going to be in Xocha because of how bright and dark it always felt. The bright hot days and cold nearly pitch black nights. It seemed the most suitable to obtain True Light & Dark. I needed critters though. As cruel as it may be, sometimes progression requires sacrifice. I know that doesn't look good on paper, but some evils are necessary. Xocha didn't have much for wildlife that wasn't immediate dangers of scorpions of various sizes, sand tunnelers ready to prey on the unexpected, birds with metal-like claws & beaks, and the rare large but slender felines. I wasn't very good at moving around on the sand nor good at handling it. Most of the time I spent cutting myself with my metal blessed arm to draw blood to be used as self defense. They weren't big or deep cuts, no, just enough to draw blood out. I needed creatures that weren't immediately hostile to my presence. After three month there I left. Now this was the time I headed to Rinite.
Wild and untouched. This is what I needed. I would spend the next few months securing a sustainable food and water source. I knew this wasn't going to be a few quick experiments and then back off to Fenzoshu to show off what I've been doing. No, this was going to take a good amount of time. Those months were rough. The soil was different than back in Fenzoshu's Agriculture Sector C-6. Before I was able to figure out the right composition of soil to liquid for excellent growth of crops, I was mostly eating what fruits and vegetation grew around. I could have hunted creatures for food. But I didn't want to scare away the creatures that I'd be using for my experiments. It's not uncommon for Shaji to eat meat, our diet is mostly based on fruit, vegetation, really any kind of crop that can be grown, and fish. We did not house any animals within the Tower or on the continent to my knowledge. One thing I did have to find was metal. If anything I was able to create something, I would like my aspect to be close by in case it were to turn on me or go out of control. Because again, Ishu can react differently in similar cases.
My initial landing was into some forest. It would seem like forest covers a large part of the continent, or at least from what I could gather from wandering through was forest. It was a shame that I wasn't more mastered in plant nature. Would have made it more easier to traverse through. The first night I had to find some sort of shelter, in such an untamed wilderness I would have figured that sleeping out in the open would have been death. I could have made some kind of mud/dirt mixture shell, but I didn't want to risk a creature that would dig through and leave me exposed or whatever might be found in the dirt. A cave would be ideal, but no such luck. So I found a decent clearing and shaped a shallow perimeter around me and pulled what liquid I could out of the soil into a moat. Then raising the walls for protection and laid large leaves across the top. Not something I wanted to do, as I had to restore it all back to the way it was the following morning, or at least as best I could get it. The next week was about the same. Just a lot of resting, traveling, searching, eating what I could find on my travels. Nothing special to note. But finally reaching the mountains, which I found some caves along the way, but none with metal that I was adept at using or able to pull from the surface. Hearing a strange sound, like running, I turned to see a rather large boar charging at me. It was too close for me to make any defenses, the best I could do was brace for impact. I got lost in thought from scanning the surface for any metal. I was flung up and behind, it had to be 5 meters in the air and 6 meters back, landing hard on stones. The initial hit knocked the wind out of me. Now, I'm not trained in combat, and during my time in Xocha was mostly spent running with defending myself. Defending yourself and being trained in combat are very different skill sets. You get sloppy. Staggering to my feet with a deep breath, ready for the boar this time, I pulled water from the soil and air, something I couldn't do in Xocha. I just wanted to scare it off, so I was going to break a tusk and wound it. It charged at me a second time, I wrapped the water around a tusk and forced it to the side while trying to break the tusk. It was much more tougher than what I expected. Shaking its head, trying to get the water off, it's tusk hardened. I could feel it becoming harder and more solid. Was this beast a Shaper? Was this a natural response? Fascinating. Simply fascinating. So I moved the water from its tusk to across its face and forced it down. "My my, aren't you an interesting creature." I moved closer to it. Carefully keeping my stance to keep its head down. I just needed to get close to it.
There. That was the first time performing some kind of Pure Ishu Shape on a living creature. I couldn't observe it if I had killed it. So I put pressure onto its face, forcing it to submit and stop resisting. It's rather hard to tell something to stop when it doesn't speak the same language as you and has knocked you down at least once. It stopped before I had done any serious damage to it. For what I had planned to do with, It had to keep still. The only thing I could really do to stop it from running was to encase its legs in stone. It started up again with trying to get free, but a quick reminder that I was in control kept it in-check. I put my hand on its back, assuming its 'Ishu core' is about the same place as it is for us Shapers. Taking a deep breath with full concentration, I could feel my arm sinking into it. Through its tough skin and muscles. This was different than Pure Ishu Shaping on something like soil, water, & metal. I could feel the flow of Ishu changing. I wasn't sure if I was pushing through its organs or moving around them in a separate space. I hadn't Shaped like this before on a person, not even during my time as a Medic. The feeling, it was unexplainable. The Ishu flowing separately from the blood flowing. I could feel them both simultaneously but separately. The muscles pulsing and tensing up where my arm reached through. I knew where to go, but I was lost searching for its core. I had to try to not leave my Will within it or pull out its Ishu. For then it would be a lifeless husk. I couldn't tell at first if I had found it, but I could feel a much larger amount of Ishu flowing. This had to be it. I knew it was a bad idea to touch it, but I couldn't help it. I had to find out what would happen. I grasped it. And in that moment I could feel its thoughts and its life. I could tell everything it was feeling in my hand. It startled me, and certainly scared the beast. I don't know if it was able to feel my thoughts and life. But I pulled back quickly, and that was a mistake. It yelled. It tried with all its might to escape. I staggered back, completely lost in what had happened. It ripped one of its legs in half and out of the stone and started bashing its head into the rocks beneath it. What had I done to it? What was going on in it? In all my life. This was the time I was probably the most scared. I couldn't comprehend what I had done. It turned to me, mouth agape, one eye not quite looking in my direction, blood flowing from it's face, eye, and mouth. I couldn't tell what it wanted from me. Without thought, I ripped out some of the blood out from its head before making it into a spike and impaling it back in. As I did so, I collapsed to my hands and knees. I don't know what I did, I couldn't leave it alive, not with how it was acting. Tired. Sweating. I rolled to my back. I was so exhausted. I didn't want to pass out. Not here. There was too much risk. I used too much Ishu that my stamina couldn't keep up with it.
I must have passed out, because I woke up in a panic of what had happened. It was starting to get dark. And I had barely recovered any Ishu, so I was still nearly as tired as before. I felt incredibly weak and out of body. That feeling though, of being in the boar. Trying to comprehend once again what had happened. That feeling of experiencing everything that happened within it. Did my hand actually pass through and into it? I staggered to my feet and brushed my hand around the area where it was. There was no opening, no forceful entry, nothing. The only thing to note is that there was a small patch where the skin was softer than the rest, that it had some give when pressing onto it compared to the rest. If I had the stamina and Ishu, I would have started a fire and eaten that boar then and there. Instead I staggered to what I could only guess was a fruit bush. I couldn't tell what it was, I could only think about eating and recovering. And that's just what I did. I grabbed every fruit off of the bush and just ate it raw. It's a good thing it didn't have any serious repercussions or I might've not attained my goal, hahaha. I awoke the following morning next to the boar. It was strange, almost like an unconscious connection to it. My best guess is that I may have ripped out part of its spirit when I pulled back. This was my plan though, It was to use Pure Ishu Shaping on a creature to test imbuing new knowledge or capabilities to it. That was the theory at least. Again, using Pure Ishu Shaping on a living creature was something I've never done before and don't recall anyone having done it before either. But this got me an idea. One I wouldn't use for quite some time, because of my lack of knowledge on it, but an idea nonetheless. Anyways, I had recovered enough to traverse around the mountain to find some metal. It took an entire day, but I had found some. Just enough that would coat my forearm and enough to form a good sized spike. I had considered if I wanted to set up my new home near the mountain side. Though ideally it would be better somewhere flat with a decent clearing to grow crops, along with a water source not too far away.
It took about a week to search for an ideal spot. I traveled up some hills, where I could see a lake in the distance, followed by forests down below with hills on the other side. Not good enough. So I traveled across to the other hills. Ah, there was a good spot down below, by another lake with what looked like a stream coming to an end. There, that is where I'll make my spot. A good amount of plains to start a farm. Or at least attempt to grow crops till I got it right. You would have thought that being in agriculture I would have some talent with nature, especially crop growing. But alas, I left it to nature and gave them just an extra bit of Ishu. It was an optimal environment after all. I had bought some seeds during my time in Xocha. Rice and Wheat. Maybe bland but it is a renewable source. So long as I didn't kill the crops that is. I had grown rice before, it takes a few months and I didn't have a calendar with me to mark the days. So at the minimum I'll at least have rice to eat while rationing what I can find.
This is probably the boring part of the story, haha. Only simply because it consisted of many months of setting up a place to live, growing crops, fishing, and whatnot. So I won't go into much detail about it. I set up my little homestead over the course of 3 days. That was after a few days of gathering wood. If I were going to set up my home as somewhere to live for quite some time I'd rather it not be a mud house as I'd be keeping food within it. But there wasn't much in it, just a secure place to sleep and eat indoors, a small amount of baked mud pots for storage. Half of the metal that I found in the mountain went to making a crude furnace. I wasn't much of a metalsmith for having a metal mastery. I ate once a day every other day while the rice grew. While gathering wood for the furnace, I noticed that a lot of trees on this continent produced nuts of some kind. I remember while in Akri there were some nut spreads, mainly combined with fruit spreads on bread. Unsure how they made it a spreadable paste, I mainly ate them raw or toasted them. I could've spent the time experimenting with how they did it, but I already had my schedule full. While gathering water by the lake, I noticed a school of fish. I don't know the name of fishes by looking at them, as I'm more used to eating their cooked meat. Though the good thing about a mastery in water and blood is that I happen to be decent at fishing by happenstance. I didn't want to shape often as my life was once accustomed too, since I have less food intake, but this would be a good opportunity to get some meat in my diet. At this point I was thinking of preserving perishable food. Though I was on my own, so It's not like I had to stock up on food, So I only got what I needed for myself. Two fish every four days. Pull a fish out by Shaping, cut it's throat with the metal I've shaped into a small knife, and pull out it's blood with shaping. Carefully using a small amount as possible. After a month of doing this, I noticed that the grass I usually did it at was noticeably taller and a brighter shade of green, albeit a bit crimson tainted at the bottom. This gave me the idea of using the blood and bone as a fertilizer. But what would it do to the rice that I was growing? During the next batch I would use half of what I was cultivating as a test. Risking half my food wasn't that bad of an option considering the other food source I had around me. I had to start tracking days somehow at this point, some days were starting to blend together, and keeping mental notes of how long things have been going on with keeping a schedule of how often I was doing things was beginning to be much. Especially living out here where I have to watch for predators or animals coming to eat my crops. I had been here for two or three months now. Possibly four. It was hard to say when you're not keeping track and on some of the days where over exerting myself Shaping has caused me to pass out for some unknown amount of time.
I had the brief thought. How was Yè? I was used to seeing his face nearly every day. and now, for possibly over a year or so, I haven't seen him since or heard anything about him. I wasn't worried about his situation at all. He was good. He most certainly had to be in a good position. He has saved money because I was constantly buying us food. But it's not like he was ever in a bad position, at least not one I would recall. He worked for the government for many years, providing food. In his off days he would water paint. I never saw any of his finished works. He must have had a reason for that, but I rarely did visit his place. He'd mostly show up to mine, mostly unannounced, but I never turned him away for I had no reason to.
It's too bad I wasn't much of a survivalist before setting out, it would've made my life easier. I made a small simple dirt and rock calendar to track 30 days and call that a month. I didn't know where I was exactly on it. Now, mind you, that the calendar I'm referring to is a Fenzoshu growth calendar for crops, which is something you learn in either nature, plant, or crop studies in Intermediate Studies or in Agriculture work. As at the time there was no globally accepted calendar, which is something I learned on my travels. Everyone went by their own calendar regionally or even locally. I should have had the forethought to make it before I set up the experiment. Now these next measurements of time will be guesses. Some days I slept longer, some days passed out, and whatnot. 30 days passed. Both crops still growing. Reset the calendar. 20 days passed. Both still growing, though the fertilized one looks slightly bigger than the unfertilized one. Over the course of the next 10 days, I would design and set up a small storage. Somewhere to keep water, food, wood, and the fertilizer. I used some of the metal to make a chain, something I could easily undo with a small amount of shaping but enough to keep out most beasts. Day 78, the fertilized rice looks like it was fully grown. So I harvested some. And so my experiment was a success. Before replanting it, I waited out to see how long the non-fertilized one took. Roughly 30 days later. That will cut down the waiting time by nearly a third.
I believed I was ready. I had a safe place to live. I had a renewable food source. I had a small amount of meat. I had clean water. Now was the time for beast experiments. First experiment was to induce sleep. I can't have a repeat of what happened with that boar. Well, really it was the start of several experiments. Sleep, not taking their spirit, implanting knowledge or ability, and teaching it to use that ability if it's not actually natural to them. I would start with something small. A rodent or bird. The problem with birds is that they might fly away without demonstrating what I've given them. So I would start with a rodent. Starting with the simple thing, subtly imposing my Will onto them to induce sleep without taking their spirit when I leave. The first few I caught bit my non-metal blessed hand causing me to drop them out of reaction. Any blood that was drawn from the bites was immediately hardened on the surface. I initially didn't want to use my metal blessed hand because it felt like it might be too uncomfortable to them. Having them be calm while I Pure Ishu Shape would be desired, less likely they will move and cause unforeseen consequences. A few days passed. I would try a different area, hopefully I won't catch one of the ones that I picked up before. Later that evening though while I lay remembering that feeling, I heard a sound. The sound of something digging. Letting out sigh, I got up to check on my rice. And sure enough there was a small canine digging at it. So I yelled at it to scare it away, It backed away to an open spot after it heard me. But then it froze there, staring at me. I couldn't really make it out at the time from how dark it was and the moons not producing much light that night. I Shaped a bowl around it and lifted it up and away from my home and crops. I had no reason to hurt it, so I let it down gently and let the ground reform into a natural state once more. I believe it was puzzled and scratched at what it rode on before leaving. Hoping that this was a one-off experience, I returned to my home to sleep yet another day. The following morning I had remembered that I moved dirt, so I Shaped it to be flat once again and went on with my day. I believe it was a fishing day. Nothing too exciting going on that day, really more of a personal day. Fished, checked crops, checked storage, did a bit of physical exercise, ate rice and fish, and then slept. A routine day. Back to rodent searching. One I had caught within the dirt was a mistake, no clean way in without having to pass through soil. But for experiment's sake I tried anyway. Clearing my mind and closing my eyes, putting my hand above it. Cold. Going through the soil felt cold, as it should usually. But I couldn't find the warmth of a living body. Strange. Surely I put my hand in the correct spot. Pulling my Will back, though I will admit a bit carelessly, I created a spike with my hand leaving. Only leaving a small puncture hole on my hand, nothing to consider. But the rodent though, did it escape? It was there, kind of. It would appear that I wasn't fully Pure Ishu Shaping and I started to push soil into it, crushing its hind legs and back. Or maybe this was the reason why I wanted contact instead of trying to go through something. It might have been a painful death, but I crushed it with dirt and pushed it underground. Walking away, shaking my head and hands. That had to be the reason I told myself, it was the only logical reason why it would happen. Contact is necessary.
After a few others that I could catch by hand with some food, I was able to calm one. I sat with it in my hand and began the process once again. Clear Mind, no visuals. Only feeling through Ishu. It was more difficult to imagine a much smaller representation of my Will than the size of my hand. I didn't want to Pure Ishu Shape through the entire thing, at that point I may have been ripping the Spirit out of its vessel. Enter its body through a small means. Feel the Ishu flow through it. Feel its blood pump. Feel the Muscles. I could tell I was close to its core. Feeling the Ishu move towards the core, I thought of one thing prominently in my mind: Sleep. Sleep. Sleep little creature. Rest and fall asleep. I don't know why I thought that would work, I work with the logic. Well I guess as logical as Ishu can be at times. But sleep is a reaction, it's not a concept or constant in the world, you can't just Shape sleep. Even through the means of Pure Ishu. I pulled back, careful this time to not take anything with me, if anything to leave a little bit of Ishu behind to make sure I wasn't leaving with any, and let the rodent go. Back to square one on this. How can I induce something to sleep or a deep slumber on something? This took me a few days of pondering on how to do it. But I finally had an idea. I was a Medic at one point in my life. People would faint or lose consciousness because of a lack of blood. I just had to restrict some blood flow to the brain, but not enough to kill them, and cause them to pass out. Because Shaping is done through visual thought and movement being in-tune with your Spirit and the unseen world that is Ishu and all that, but I'm not here to lecture you on how Shaping works after all. Pulling blood out through an entry point or stopping blood from flowing out by creating a barrier, whether it be hard or still in its liquid form, is one thing. It certainly is another to do it without an visual elements. And even more to do it without a physical entry. But maybe I was over complicating it. I'll have to kill one and cut it open to give myself reference. From there I can make a small pinprick opening, make it fall unconscious, and start my Pure Ishu Shaping on it.
Now what was the best way to catch it without damaging it? I could crush it but that might end up messing up the anatomy of it. Stab it through the heart or head? I'm sure I needed those intact as I have not seen the inside of one of these things before. Hmm.. What if I were to split it down the middle? Possibly, though it wouldn't look too good, not like it's a fish. I believe my best possible way would have to be making a cut and pulling its blood out. From there I can dissect it and see what its innards and paths look like. Forming some long needles with a sharp point, this was going to be my method of extraction. Going about my usual business of the day then off to hunt. Shaping something this small would be nearly nothing. Taking a small hop and a step forward, I threw the needles at my target. Turns out, I was also bad at throwing things. So I had to use a bit of shaping to make sure it kept flying at their target. They all stabbed into its leg and pinned it down. Just the same process as gutting a fish. Slit its throat and pull out its blood. I try to make it as fast as possible so the creatures at least will die quickly. Back at the homestead, I cut it open and learned what I needed. Even putting some liquid in it to get the idea of the path and what it'll be like once I restrict it. Once again, I hear that scratching of something digging. "Are we doing this again." I said rubbing the bridge of my nose in annoyance. Well I didn't need this creature anymore and it'd better serve the beast that is clearly looking for food in the wrong area. Holding the creature by the leg in one hand, I went out to look at my rice farm. Not there. But I hear digging. Must be by the storage, great. With a bit more speed, I jogged over to my storage to find a hole with a fuzzy tail poking out. I yanked on it and the beast yelled before turning around with a whimper. Letting out a sigh, I picked it up by the nape of its neck as it struggled before letting it down and it darted away. Looking back at me, I tossed the rodent in its direction. It backed away before sniffing it and grabbing it in its mouth and running away. I wondered if that was the same one digging at the crops earlier. Turning back to the hole and putting the dirt back in. Great, so now it has an idea of where some food is stored. The following day, I set up large rocks all around it, hoping it would deter the beast or at least give me more time to catch it in the act. It's too bad I wasn't an engineer and knew how to make some kind of pavement, I could use metal. But would that make the room colder or hotter? It wasn't worth it to use the small bit of metal I had left. Suddenly, it started to downpour. I hadn't been paying attention to the weather since I got here and I must consider myself lucky. For what felt like half a year, It was all sunny days, maybe some cloudy ones. I retreated back to my home, while I was adept with mud, I wasn't with the darkness that was brought, so I wasn't about to go continue with my experiments.
The rainfall continued for about a week total. I had checked the crops and the storage each day, but on the third day, the inside of the storage started to get muddy, and the pots of water and fertilizer were pouring out onto the rice I had stored. This is what I got for not putting down any flooring. Fine, if it was going to be this way then I was going to make flooring now. I set up a temporary shelter outside of the storage to put everything on, while I turned the inside flooring into a more tiled surface with a mud-clay mixture, having to be careful to bake it by not setting fire to the wooden walls or warping them with high heat. Now that problem should be solved along with any beasts trying to dig its way into the storage as well. By the time I got back to my home after all that, there was the beast again. This small smoky coloured fuzzy canine. On closer inspection of it, it appeared to be a fox. "Have you been the one plaguing me all this time, little one?" A little harsh I'll admit, but it appeared to be cold and seeking shelter. Holding out my hand, I gathered rain and attempted to wash the mud off of its paws, but it struggled when I grabbed hold of it even if it was brief. "Look, if you want in, you'll have to deal with this." Through the struggle, I did get it cleaned and then let it inside. It jumped to my bed and made a nest on the blanket. Seeing that it didn't seem like it was about to get warmer, I added more wood to my furnace to keep it warm. I don't know why I decided to take in this beast nor why it came back. I had shooed it away twice already, why would it assume that I wouldn't a third time? Well, I guess it didn't really have much to lose. I haven't taken care of any animals before that weren't the ones I killed, well that's not really care as a mercy killing. Hmm. I don't know how often this thing eats, or what it eats besides meat as it took that rodent I tossed at it before. I guess I'll have to keep a couple more fish on hand or maybe it'll just hunt for its own food and I won't have to worry about it. Regardless, it's here now. I'll have to start leaving my door open by a crack so it can slide it open when it comes.
The next midday, it was still raining. Still, I did the usual. Check crops, harvest a few that were ready and replant. Fish, instead of 2 every 4 days, I decided to do 3 every 3. Checked the storage, some of the rain started to drip through. So I shaped an underside to the roof made of metal. That should keep water from dripping in now. I decided I'll search for more metal when the rain passes. The next day goes by with the rain still going. I was starting to get a bit bored. The fox returned covered in mud trying to get in. "Hey! I said if you want in, you go in washed, now hold still." Still a struggle to get the mud off of it. I should set aside a basin for washing it. I sat on the deck this day. Wondered what Yè would think if he saw me now. Living in such a small home. Taking care of a beast, well loosely anyways. Avoiding the use of unnecessary Shaping. Living on a strict diet of rice and fish once a day. Yè... I wonder what you're up to. Have you been taking care of yourself? How have you been? Anything exciting happen? Did you move up sectors yet? Did you ever like beasts Yè? I can't say I really gave them much thought till living here for a month, or what I assumed was a month that passed. The fox came out and nested in my lap. I was confused by this notion. It had to assume I was friendly for I let it into my home without hurting it. But why my lap? Perplexing. Hahaha. How about now Yè? Could you have ever pictured me: sitting with a friendly beast in my lap, petting it? Not something I would have thought to have happened in my life. There was something about its smoky fur I liked. Spots that were pitch black and others snow white, and all shades of grey throughout its coat. I guess if I ever lost sight of my life goal, I'd have you to remind me. True Light and Dark.
After the rain had finally stopped, I was ready to try again. Though I had a few things to do first before then. I needed metal again and I had to remake my fire pit as some of the bricks were loose and fell apart on top of itself. Instead of layers of bricks, I was just going to make it into a single mass. I laid out my shape for it once again, but covered it in the mud-clay mixture I used before and cooked it. Imperfect but serves its use. Now for the metal search. I spent a few days searching for metal back along the mountain once again. The journey there and searching felt much quicker than when I first landed all those months ago. I guess being less reliant on Shaping and training my physique has helped me. The trip to the Agriculture sector always took me an hour to walk there. I wonder how long it'd take me now to make it there. In my search I found some hazy white crystals that I initially thought were Tugillby. So I chipped some off and took it with me, as I figured it would prove beneficial to serve as a catalyst of sorts. Now if I could find some Suloxyhyte, I could use them as catalysts for Light & Dark. Stepping out of the cave, I could barely make out my homestead in the distance. The only thing that gave it away was the fact that it was a different colour than the surrounding green, just a tiny speck of brown-red. The thought of walking together with Yè had me thinking of a faster method of transportation. I could hurl myself near my home, but that was incredibly far away and extremely dangerous to my person. Then a follow up idea, what if I Shaped a bowl to slide down the mountain, almost like the time I did with the beast. And I did just that. I found a patch of dirt along a flat part of the mountain and formed my bowl, and threw it down the mountain. I nearly gave myself a heart attack, haha. I've never moved that fast before either, and was worried that the bowl was going to flip over and tumble out. Once it came to stop I had to sit down and rest for a bit. Pretty much collect myself before continuing back home. Then back to the usual of farm checking, storage checking, and eating a planned meal. Along with seeing the beast once more. I should give it a name to make it different than any other beast I encounter. A combination of the Higher Deities Antande & Bysenrk would do well, as to me this beast represents Light & Dark. Hmm... Aytenre? Though this goes against how we name people and things. Any Fenzoshu higher ups would also be displeased by such a name. Maybe Yè. Ah, I guess considering naming it means I've grown attached to it. How silly.
The next rodent I caught, it was time to try to make it sleep through my previous theory. I carefully slit its throat but held the blood in, closing off circulation for a few seconds. It passed out. Acting quickly, I restored its normal blood flow and closed up the wound. Good, it worked out perfectly. I laid it back on the ground and began my concentration. To the core. The strong flow of Ishu. The beating heart. It was still alive. Blood. Flowing blood. Filling both of our minds. A sea of red. The slick liquid that stains all it touches. This is what knowledge I left in its core. Once it awoke, it was incredible. It had worked. Though maybe not in a way I had hoped. The slit on its neck had opened up and blood spewed forth and formed another thing like it, conjoined by the blood from it. It knew how to Shape, I think. The bloody thing leapt at me, its nose forming into a point, but it must have ran out of Ishu or pulled all its blood out of its body. Because it fell short and left me splattered with blood. Upon further examination, it was definitely out of blood. Ishu I could not say, for the core Ishu seemed to disappear on death. Maybe blood wasn't the knowledge that I should have granted. But it had worked. I have been able to give knowledge of an existing concept to something that didn't know how to Shape it. I should be ready to be attacked once they reawaken, most likely weren't going to be on friendly terms after cutting their throat open and forcing them to pass out. From this I went onto something bigger, something with a bit more Ishu within its core.
This time I was going to seek out a canine of some kind. The first one I found leap straight at me, biting my metal coated arm. Its fangs weren't about to get through this, so I was in an advantageous position before it started to scratch at my body. Shaping water to it, and forcing it off and pinned down till I could grab the back of its neck and force down without Shaping. It resisted it quite well till cutting its throat and repeating before. Cut off circulation till it fell over and fell unconscious, restored blood flow and normalized breathing, stitched up its cut. Repeating the same process for Pure Ishu manipulation. It was now time to decide on what knowledge I was going to impart on this beast. I had a wide range to choose from. Soil, Clay, Mud, raw Metals, most Liquids, Blood, Wind, Flame, Ice, to a lesser degree I suppose Snow. Seeing as it'll probably kill itself with blood again, I decided that this time it would be something small and easy, such as Wind. The gentle relaxing breeze. Heavy cutting winds. The pain and pleasure a breeze can give. With this, I've left the knowledge within the core of this beast. Being able to use more of myself since it was a bigger creature felt better, but still took a bit out of me. I rested while watching the beast to see what happened. There are a number of uses that Wind can be applied to. But with a beast that just attacked me, that I attempted to kill, or that's how it will view me despite my intentions, being unable to communicate with it, it is unknown what it'll do with this new knowledge. There are many factors to this that I dislike, as I am at a disadvantage to them, but this is the place I have put myself in. People will be too scared to act on instinct of the new knowledge that is given to them, beasts will use this new knowledge immediately to defend themselves. I have seen a few Half-Magi react in such a way. They learn to Shape but stop doing it as it distances themselves from humans. They would have to have a Shaji parent or Half-Magi somewhere in their line to have been granted the ability to Shape. This innate knowledge doesn't just appear out of nowhere. Just as the higher deities granted us this knowledge, I am doing the same to these beasts. I wonder how many times they had to kill those they granted the knowledge. Upon finishing the thought, the beast awakes, and the next show begins.
It stood back up, a bit weary, before noticing me and growling. The emotional component of Shaping should be strong enough that they don't need a concentrated stance, though this leads to uncontrollable Shaping, it should be fine for this experiment. It just has to prove it can Shape and not kill itself in the process. A breeze blows by, it makes me realize the mistake I made, the only way I will be able to tell if it can Shape is with heavy winds. I should have granted Soil, at least then its easier to tell when the ground is moving. A single stroke down my metal arm, forming spikes along the way. I need it to be hostile and feel that its life is in danger, that it'll use whatever it can to win. Demonstrating the knowledge that I granted it, taking a step forward, with my stance ready, sweeping my arms once from one side to the other, hands open, fingers spread, and conjured a single gust of heavy wind from the side, pushing it. "Show me what I've granted you." Growling, the canine charged at me. Ready for it, I let it bite my metal arm. Wrong, there was no Shaping. So I flipped it over and off of me. Turning to it, still ready. Again. It did the same thing again and again. "Do you not learn?" As if my words had any meaning to it. If I was going to get an emotional Shape response, I guess I'd have to put its life in danger then, instead of being on the defensive. So be it. My physical workouts haven't taught me anything to do with combat, but Shapeless Shapes should be sufficient. The only Shaping I did was a small boost from the Soil to push me away and some wind to push me further along to it. Smashing into the ground with my metal coated arm, missing it barely. Am I a threat to you yet? Will you Shape to save your own life? I threw the needles I had made before, now more proficient at throwing them. They landed in its side. What will you do to live? Taking a few swings at it, scraping it barely as it dodged. It darted behind me, incredibly fast, leaving a small breeze behind it. Reacting as quick as I could, but not quick enough, the beast leapt and bit down onto my non-metal shoulder, as I started making a soil wall hitting it mid bite, causing it to go over me and pull me down with teeth in my shoulder. A hot flash of pain surged through my arm. Swinging with my metal arm into it. I definitely got a good hit into it, as multiple hits into it caused quite a bit of blood to fly, at the same time of it trying to rip my arm off. I couldn't take the pain, I yelled. Yelled as loud as I could. A single punch to its mouth, it pushed its teeth further into my shoulder. I grabbed the bottom part of its mouth and pulled it open as much as I could. I could tell it was hurting it as it started to whimper. Releasing its bite it backed away and looked at me. I could feel the blood soaking my top. I had enough concentration to coat the spot with metal, sealing it as best as I could. Looking back at it, it was having trouble standing from all the open wounds inflicted on it. Even if I were to close the wounds now, it still might not live. But I need it to live. I need to know if this can be passed down to the next generation. Otherwise it's only a temporary grasp, and that's not good enough to me. Getting to my feet, I couldn't stand straight, I was shaking with every step I took towards it. Every step I took, it took a step away. You idiotic beast. For once I'm trying to help. No, it was just instincts telling it that I was going to harm it. It only saw me as a threat. Stopping in place, I took a bit to take a breath. Just enough so I can shape my arm back into a smooth surface. Still snarling at me with blood dripping from its mouth. What can I do to make sure you live? Its blood is all over the place and most likely no good anymore to go back in, on top of that, I'm in no condition to do a complex Shape such as blood. Maybe If I just leave it, it'll be fine. That's what I had to hope. I had to hope that both it and I will live. I was extremely tired at this point as well. I kept pushing through the desire to sleep, to keep taking another step forward, another step to another day. But your will to keep going and your physical capability in doing so are two different things.
I did eventually end up passing out for some time. As I awoke suddenly, still feeling tired, but I had something fuzzy in my face as well. It was the fox. Patting its head a few times, it awoke with a noise. "It's time we go home..." Slowly getting to my feet, with my hands on my knees and head down. I was finding it hard to stay on my feet even after resting for an unknown amount of time. I believe it was sunset, but I could barely see. I just had to take a step forward, I didn't need to look where I was going, if I was heading in the right direction then that's all I needed. Just to concentrate on taking steps. It felt like an eternity, like I was trudging through mud as tall as my body. This was the feeling of nearly expanding most of your Ishu and some life force. The metal that I had tightly on my shoulder was causing pain and muscle soreness, I wanted to remove it, but I needed something to take its place. The walk, it felt like an eternity. I must have been absent minded because I can't recall thinking anything that entire time of walking back, it's all a blur. But I managed to make it back home with the fox guiding me there. I didn't even care what dirt I was tracking in, I just wanted to get this metal off of me and rest properly. But I recovered next to no Ishu through that walk and sleep before. I needed food. I don't know if you've ever had that feeling, where you're barely conscious from sleep deprivation, something similar of staying awake for maybe a week straight. Well, maybe not that extreme, but for you non-shapers that is what it feels like when you've exhausted all your Ishu. I broke some of my railing to be used as a cane. An easy fix for when I was of more sound mind. I made my way to my food storage, grabbed a few fish to be thrown onto the pit. I should have prepped some dried meat, or jerky I believe its called, for times like these. I was so used to tossing a tiny amount of Ishu into the pit to start fires that I was now facing a dilemma. How would I now start a fire with no Ishu and not being able to properly shape even if I was willing to sacrifice an incredibly small spec of my life force. And when I mean small, if I had to guess, maybe a couple of minutes at most.
Do allow me a moment to take a break and collect my thoughts... Some things are a bit fuzzy. Time is certainly one of them. You know, this story went on longer than I thought it would. Guess it all felt so short to me till telling you it.