The Great Topiary Spat
It started simple, really. You see, Nakamura Hisako sent me seeds but didn't label what they were or leave a note why she sent them. I planted them thinking they were a gift and the blasted things quickly took over my yard, casting a curse of gloom and doom.
My note must have gotten lost somewhere. The old fool could have simply called. But no, I find a note stuffed in an envelope with no return address stating that the recipient of the seeds cursed my name at the Akutai Festival. It took me a while to remember who I'd sent seeds to and that they were meant to be taken to the priest there to examine and exorcise if needed. Aya-sensei had the nerve to smile visciously when he greeted me at our meeting with Soujoubou. In revenge, I sent more seeds of an equally invasive plant just to see if he'd be idiot enough to plant those too.
Progression to Topiaries
Considering that I didn't wish to get in trouble with the authorities for dispersing weeds and that I couldn't very well rat out my trainee to the authorities or our boss, it was time to take this to the next level. I found a lab that was doing genetic testing on various poisonous plants of the world. Using my charm, I convinced one of the lab assistants to give me a sample of poison ivy, which I (while wearing gloves) wove into the most hideous pig shaped topiary.
After I recovered, which took two-and-a-half weeks to get rid of the itching I'll have you know, I burned the plant and sent it back with a miniature orchid intermingled with poisonous mushrooms
Final Evolution of the ConflictIt continues to this day, but has become more of a game to outdo each other.
Barrel Cactus by Yinan Chen
This year she had the nerve to send a poison hemlock, buttocks-shaped topiary. The delivery man doesn't even wait for me to come to the door anymore. He knows I'll try to refuse large packages from her. Though I confess to being tempted to take a picture, making it look like I was mooning her. Then I can mail it with a large barrel cactus that says 'Sit on this'.