Bag em' and tag em'

Big thank you to Soulwing for telling this joke so I could run with it.
KingSLayer. Love the title, almost as much as I'd like to see more of you. I should write a song about what I did that night. If you say please I'll weave you into the story.
— Penora to a tanner


Hook up with at least two sovereign leders in the same night and kill them both. Furthermore, the story must be spectacular enough to spread like wildfire.


When Remiere, the king of Druo, and Francis, the king of Levin, met in a neutral town in a historic attempt to mend the relationship between their lands everyone was incredibly tense.

Particularly the Drufai, royal guard of Remiere, were paranoid and tried to persuade the king to not partake in the ball set up by their host, but that was socially unacceptable, so he went there.

At the ball a tiefling musician, Penora, was performing and she almost became the star of the ball. One thing she did do however was to flirt outrageously with anyone and everyone at the ball, which caused multiple suitors to become angry at her.

However, she was particularly successful at flirting with the kings. Once the ball had ended she found herself in the bed chambers of Francis.

In hindsight his guards described the sounds coming from the chamber as "unmistakable sounds of pleasure". However, once Penora had left they failed to realize that Francis was breathing his last when they checked in on him, at least until dawn.

About an hour later the Drufai stormed into the bedchambers of Remiere, having heard something suspicious. What they saw was the king naked and splayed out on the bed with eyes rolled back and a grin on his face and not breathing, and in the window frame was Penora, loosly dressed and about to leave.

Tell his wife that he certainly knows how to perform in bed, and also that the Blood Red Roses have sent their best wishes.
— Penora before jumping out

Even with the town gates closed and every building searched Penora could not be found. Furthermore, with all the guards and people moving around the real story was known to the whole town before noon, and pretty quickly after that she became known as the first KingSLayer.

Notable Holders

Penora is currently the only person to be called Kingslayer and KingsLayer, which is why the title is shortened to KingSLayer.

First Holder


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Grandmaster Soulwing
Paul Wiesenthal
22 Jul, 2021 18:22

This is so genius! Beautifully written and engaging.   I do not regret making that joke :P

22 Jul, 2021 19:10

Well-executed article spawned from daft banter. What's not to love?   I'm a big fan of Penora. Would definitely read more about her.