The Ungainly Yoke Tavern
The Ungainly Yoke is not your normal tavern if judged by human standards. The Yoke (as it is called by the travelers who have sampled the tavern's culinary options) is a mobile tavern that travels the Borderlands year round. It has been run by generations of orcs and is considered a good omen by human traders who venture into the Borderlands to see the tavern trundling across the harsh hills and plains that mark the beginning of the Orclands. The tavern itself is a great wagon made entirely of wood that is pulled by eight Rothekrik. The planks and boards all have been woodshaped by some of the finest trunkneaders of the Border Tribes. The magically enhanced carvings and bas reliefs both outside and inside the Yoke are incredibly detailed and are considered works of art by scholars and artisans of several races. Due to the complexity of the woodshaping, no metals were used in the wagon's construction. It is rumored that the Yoke's timbers are magically reinforced to avoid catching fire.
The tavern is accessed through the back of the wagon by some stairs that are pulled up or lowered by the bouncers. Any creatures that are larger sized, such as ogres, giants, and trolls are encouraged to eat outside of the tavern as their weight and bulk may create instability inside the tavern, especially if the Yoke decides to move to another location. The tables and stools for such customers are actually part of the outside decor of the wagon, and also serve as extra shielding in the unlikely event that the the Yoke is attacked by hostile forces. The bouncers and some outriders of whichever Border Tribe happens to be with the Ungainly Yoke at the time assist in taking out such tables and stools for the Yoke's larger customers.
The Yoke has its main room in the back of the wagon, which is equipped with a half dozen tables and 5 chairs to a table. Towards the front of the wagon is where the kitchen and ale barrels are located, along with the quarters of some of the Yolk staff. The serving staff consists of a couple of goblins and four orcs. When there are giantish customers about, the goblins are confined to serving in the wagon and the orcs deal with the larger folk.
There is a small stage in the main room for skalds and bards or the occasional shaman with a tale to tell. There is also a table for Shields and Spears (the orc equivalent to chess) and two targets for dagger and axe throwing. When the weapon throwing contests are taking place, a net of metal links is put up to prevent any accidents happening from a 'misthrow' into the crowd.
Each year during the Orc's Tribal Moots, a cooking contest is held, the winners are awarded with running the tavern for a year minimum. If they're victorious in the next contest, they're awarded another year with running the Yoke. However, no victor can run The Ungainly Yoke for more than 5 years. Well, at least that's the custom. The current winners have been running the tavern for three years in a row. The Yoke is supervised by Groduf and Snakhak Ilmedder and two of their children (the Ilmedder's have eight offspring), Olsrog and Galda. All of the Ilmedder's hail from The Mangled Wolf Tribe. The Ilmedder's popularity comes from their serving of exotic cuisine. In addition to serving boar, plains deer, rabbit, lamb, and goat, the Ilmedder's serve Ankheg and Bulette meat with their own unique marinades and spices.
The Ilmedders serve orc ale and beer, usually brewed by the northern tribes of the Orclands. However, the orcs do have some halfling made wine, a bit of dwarven ale, and even some exotic whiskey developed by a Dragonborn Cooper (The whiskey is called Tiamat's Bite).
Payment for food and drink is usually done by offering a barter, although the orcs do accept gold or silver. Copper pieces are refused. However, bartering is the preferred method of payment. The barter could be anything in the way of a good story or song (but the songs are tough for pleasing an orc, unless the bard at hand is fortunate enough to know an orc battle song or one of their sagas) to a decent tool or weapon, even a good map will suffice.
Glossary- Rothekrik- A large six legged beast common in the orc lands. Scholars wonder if the creatures are related to the behir. The Rothekrik have fur to keep them warm in the winter but shed most of their coat during the onset of spring, where they do indeed look similar to a giant lizard.
Trunkneader- The name for an orc who wields magic involving the sculpting and manipulation of trees and wood. The act of such manipulation is called woodshaping.
Type
Pub / Tavern / Restaurant
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