Leave it to the Bogatyrs to continue the tradition of pacification and veneration of relatively tiny courtyard spirits who prefer to live in barns, sheds or garages and drink far too much vodka for anyone's good. Dvorovoi are as capricious as they are useful, slavic spirits of the yard. While protectors at their best, beings who devote themselves to families and places where they're treated well, at their worst Dvorovoi are such gargantuan nuisances I wonder why our Judge Caleb Mauthisen doesn't do away with the lot of them.
"Hey now, that's not fair. I kinda like the little guys when they're playing nice." Caleb MauthisenSpirits whose entire reason for being includes ensuring goats make tasty milk, Dvorovoi are some of the least helpful but most energy intensive of the Slavic protectors. They smell. They smell like the bad side of a barn.
Diminutive in comparison to Human kind, a proper Dvorovoi comes no higher than a bog standard human's knee. The males of the species have long scraggly beards, while the females wear their hair in thick strands or braids. If pressed, I admit to experiencing an overwhelming... hairiness... in the tiny brutes.
Stubby, narrow limbed bipeds, with a penchant for either helping livestock thrive, or making a living issue of existence.
Genetics and Reproduction
I refuse to investigate this further. If a book could shiver, I would shiver.
"Lightweight." Caleb Mauthisen... I refuse to acknowledge this gaping hole in my information.
Growth Rate & Stages
Little Dvorovoi seem to grow at the speed of spite or livestock management, rather than through the linear passage of time.
Ecology and Habitats
Yards, sheds, barns & courtyard/outdoor spaces. The Dvorovoi is the spirit more akin to a patio pleaser, rather than a house helper. Dvorovoi are exclusively found in Slavic households & courtyards, or around the farms of those adjacent to the Slavic cultures.
Pacify this creature or be nuisanced to death.
One does not domesticate a Dvorovoi so much as invite its capricious, tricksy nature into one's courtyard or barn. When properly treated, Dvorovoi serve a noble purpose, keeping livestock calm, and chickens laying eggs. When besmirched, they become a menace of flat tires, terrible gas mileage or unproductive stock.
Beards. Beards and facial hair everywhere. All the way down their necks.
Dvorovoi are a wealth of information on the magic necessary to benefit or besmirch livestock, gardening or the destruction of white furred creatures. Anything beyond these limited scopes of knowledge are as insignificant to the Dvorovoi as a flea is to a stellar body in the vault of the Cosmos.
Symbiotic and Parasitic organisms
ParasiticThem. The Dvorovoi. Do not look at me like that, Caleb, I've seen what they did to your car.
"Wait... what did Dvoro do to my... MY CAR! Nooooo!" Caleb MauthisenHeh Heh Heh...
We are not gifted in the Middling Plane with a number of the things, and for that I remain thoroughly grateful.
Have you seen a garden gnome?
"Book! Play nice!" Caleb MauthisenLook at them! Look at them hard! They're sketchy vodka swilling garden gnomes, who migrated to live in people's garages and potentially make trouble with their cars, or help their gas mileage as a modernization plan! They're odd Slavic gnomes!
"That's it, you're going back into my butt pocket!" Caleb MauthisenNoooooooooooo! I'll be gooooooood! I promise take me out, you had vindaloooooooo. Nooooooo.