There's a Lumpy Fellow

Many believe that this famous opera represents the height of the prolific composer W. D. F. Shnooker’s career.   Re-enactments of the violent audience riots that ensued at the show’s premier many centuries ago have become an expected part of the entertainment, and arms dealers can always make a tidy profit peddling their wares to the waiting queue before the show.   The story is a feel-good romantic murder mystery, widely thought to be the inspiration for the modern classic The Texas Chainsaw Fracas.   The title piece begins with these verses...  
Scene: The CORONER and his ASSISTANT have just entered the crime scene and are confronted with the grisly sights of yet another multiple murder. As the CORONER takes out his mini-tape-recorder to start his verbal report, they’re inspired to burst into song...   There’s a little lumpy fellow
in the bin, in the bin.
There’s a little lumpy fellow
in the bin. (How’d he get in?)
There’s a little lumpy fellow,
and his eyes have gone all yellow,
(Good Lord! That’s quite a smell-O!)
In the bin. (‘Tis a sin!)
  There’s a bloke in several pieces
‘neath the floor, ‘neath the floor.
There’s a bloke in several pieces
‘neath the floor. (And here’s some more!)
There’s a bloke in several pieces
crammed in cranny, nook and recess,
(He’s not listed in the leases!)
‘neath the floor. (Let’s check the drawer!)
  There’s a chap all soaked and mushy
down the loo, down the loo.
There’s a chap all soaked and mushy
down the loo. (‘S true!)
There’s a chap all soaked and mushy,
oh, he’s moldy and he’s squushy,
(And he’s stopping up the flushy!)
down the loo. (Is that a shoe?)


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