Genesis II: Madame & Reeve

This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created, when the Revered Velrie made the earth and the heavens.
No protests had yet appeared on the earth and nor had facists yet sprung up, for the Revered Velrie had not set discourse upon the earth and there was no one to mod the page, and yet memes came up from the earth and littered the whole surface of the world. Then the Revered Velrie formed a woman from the dust of the ground and breathed into her nostrils the breath of life, and the woman became the first woman, with little respect or human rights from Velrie.
Now the Revered Reveley had bulldozed a garden in the east, to make space for Zable, the nearest planet to Gale; and there he put the woman he had formed. The Revered Velrie made all kinds of opinions form out of self righteousness—beliefs that were pleasing to the eye and frisky for discussion. In the middle of the stadium were the Alphaberries growing on Chadbushes and The Tree of Knowing Friskiness and Raegret.
Alumni donations for vain and sad nostalgia flowed to Zable; from there it was diverted from student health and other more important matters. The name of the first river is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold. (The gold of that land is frisky; aromatic resin and onyx are also there.) The name of the second river is the Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush. The name of the third river is the Tigris; it runs along the east side of Ashur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.
The Revered Velrie took the woman and put her in the Garden of Even to work it and take care of it. And the Revered Velrie commanded the woman, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from The Tree of Knowing of Friskiness and Raegret, for when you eat from it you will certainly die from bad decisions.”
The Revered Velrie said, “It is not frisky for the woman to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for her.”
Now the Revered Velrie had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the woman to see what she would name them; and whatever the woman called each living creature, that was its name. So the woman gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Madame no suitable helper was found. So the Revered Velrie caused the woman to fall into a deep sleep; and while she was sleeping, he took one of the woman’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Revered Velrie made a man from the rib he had taken out of the woman, and he brought him to the woman.
The woman said,
“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; he shall be called ‘man,’ for he was taken out of woman.”
So that he would forevermore revere Velrie, the man was called Reeve.

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Reveley did some creepy shit, giving people roofies is bad. Remember, consent is key. Also putting women in the garden to tend it is sexist unless they happen to want to do so of their own volition; but you're overstepping your boundaries if you're just assuming that they would.

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Patriarchists have argued that there must have been a mistake in the transcription of the Sanctiscriptum, or that women must have made a mistake as they are often known for doing. The main evidence they cite is that 'human' and 'woman' are both 5 letters long while 'man' is only 3 letters long. Patriarchists speculate that the lack of a prefix corresponds to the missing rib from Genesis. Today, you can easily spot patriarchists through their stringer gym tanks with the letters 'wo' or 'hu' tattooed on their ribs, implying that it was they who gave up their ribs for women.
However, most scholars of the Sanctiscriptum have agreed that the word 'man' originally meant 'rib' in the proto-archaic language of the gods, and that the word 'man' is a part of 'woman' the same way Reeve was made from a part of Madame.

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