The Meister's Cheese Eating Contest

I was once present for a Meister's Cheese Eating Contest while I was passing through Bellbrook one year. It was by far one of the strangest and most bizarre nights I have ever had. If it is one thing about the gnomes is that they don't do anything boring. And I tell being the only human in a sea of hyper gnomes gorging themselves on cheese and beer is quite the experience...Honestly...I'd do it again, the gnomes know how to party.

---

Origins

The Meister's Cheese Eating Contest is an event that shares its origins with The Festival of Good Harvest. This festival was established over fifty years ago in Bellbrook to celebrate the end of a long drought. And ever since the festival just hasn't ended, with various food stalls and events being held nearly non-stop year round.
The Meister's Cheese Eating Contest is one of these events, one that started after an entrepreneurial cheesemaker named Furbip Laggalmoo decided it was the perfect way to spread the quality of his cheese (and later their beer) to the gnomish masses, and of course, get drunk and party at the same time. Laggalmoo continues to hold this event monthly and has held it at his own establishment Laggalmoo's Brews and Cheesery for the last forty-five years. Which now serves as a popular pub, brewery, and cheesery even outside of the event. The first five years of this event was held at varying tents and venues throughout the festival.
Much like any gnomish event of significance, it is essentially just an excuse to throw a party, eat, drink, and just have an altogether rip-roaring time. The party typically runs all day, into the night and most gnomes are absolutely hammered by the end of it. There have actually been times when nobody can even remember the winner of the eating contest. Which in the gnome's minds was just a wonderful reason to host a rematch the next day.

---

Winner - The Meister of Cheeses

Whoever successfully consumes the most cheese and beer over the longest length of time without completely passing out (some minor nodding off is permitted) is declared the winner and becomes The Meister of Cheeses! A highly decorated and respected title that grants the individual great renown wherever they go, at least for the next month or so.
The winner (survivor) is hailed by all his peers (or at least those present at that month's contest) as the Champion of Curds, the All Gouda King, and the Meister of Cheeses! Those that pass by him in the time between events proclaim, "Hail Meister of Cheeses!" and slap them hardily upon the back as they pass. The Meister is often showered with affection and even the occasional beer or two gifted to them by a fellow admirer.
The winner is also gifted a wonderful (and cleverly branded) basket of assorted cheeses and meats, and a buy one get one free voucher for the next time they visit Laggalmoo's Brews and Cheesery. The winning gnome holds onto the title until the next month's event where, if they wish to, can defend their title of Meister for another month.

---

Cheeses and Brews

The event has a plethora of cheeses and beer available for consumption. All of which is lovingly crafted by the in-house host of the event, Laggalmoo's Brews and Cheesery, which is still owned and operated by the originator of the event, Furbip Laggalmoo.

Cheeses

Madame Bellbrook - Aged Red Cheddar

This lovely reddish-orange cheese is named after the Madame of Bellbrook, Mrs. Tebni Bellbrook. Bellbrook has been one of many in the Bellbrook family line that has helped keep the party going in the Gnomish Lands.
The cheese itself has a nutty, slightly sweet, and firm taste, fantastically matching some of the stronger beers on the menu. It has a wonderful reddish orange interior and its rind is clothbound and should be removed before consumption.

Chateau de Binboo - Soft Goat Cheese

Named after the famous Binboo's Great Goady Farm this soft-ripened cheese is gooey, mild, and has the silkiest of textures.
The rind is completely edible and is made from a local fruit seed called Finglum, which gives the rind a lovely blueish hue. The milk for this cheese is always sourced from a finely selected crop of great Goady's (aren't they all?), directly from Binboo's famous farm.

Madame Bellbrook Cheese

---

Brews

Is it Midnight?

A dark brew only for the bravest, and often drunkest, gnome. This beer is as dark as fresh dirt after rainfall and thick as stew to boot. But despite its intimidating looks is delicious, tasting of roasted malt, bitter chocolate, and nearly burnt marshmallows.
Though both gnomes and other imbibers should beware, this brew packs a punch as it sits at almost 20 percent alcohol. If you're not already on your ass, you will be after a few of these.

Pink Moon Lager

The common gnomes brew and the most popular drink consumed each and every night at Laggalmoo's. Especially in the summer months.
This brew is a wonderful pink hue and is a clean and refreshing drink. Made with hops, malt, and fresh grapefruit juice. Pink Moon Lager has a sweet, sour, and somewhat tangy taste that gnomes just can't get enough of. Honestly, I'd have one right now if I could.

Casked Beer at Laggalmoo's Brews and Cheesery

Summary

The Meister's Cheese Eating Contest is a monthly cheese eating contest that is held annually as a part of the unending The Festival of Good Harvest. The event is essentially just a large party, with the main event and biggest draw being the Meister's Cheese Eating Contest. Where contestants compete to see how much beer and cheese they can consume throughout the night. With the winner being granted the title of Meister of Cheeses, they hold this title until the next event when they must defend it once more.

---

Rules of the Competition

The rules are simple;

1. Show up and take a free at the cheese table- Eat and drink until you are the last one conscious

Disqualification occurs if one of the judges spots you discarding cheese or beer. Though this is often difficult as the judges are frequently drunk.

---

Reigning Cheese Meister

Pimwick Fiddlesticks

The currently reigning Meister of Cheeses is one Pimwick Fiddlestick, who has reigned for three-months straight.
Fiddlestick has proven a fierce competitor despite his slight frame. Crowds have sat in awe at his ravenous consumption of various cheeses. His favourite cheese is the Chateau de Binboo which he often pairs with the Pink Moon Ale.
However, Fiddlestick is nothing compared to the Meister's Cheese Eating Contest's greatest champion. A gnome, simply known as Orla (no last name - she's cool like that), who held the title of Meister of Cheeses for nearly three years straight. She was never defeated and relinquished the title after she left the Gnomish Lands for a grand adventure.

---

Primary Related Location

Bellbrook

Related Organizations

• The Gnomish Lands

Related Articles