Eif the wandering Cork Bobber
The man named Eif to all that knew him was a jovial being of pleasant disposition. He was given the title of Cork Bobber after making it known in the common room of the Four and the One that he was going forth into the world to discover where the best ales, beer, liquors and wines were to be found. All the time genuflecting to Young Bron saying "Ye're a good and kind chap, but ye still have much learnin to do. I'll bring you the secrets I learn when I get back, denn ye can make sometin truly special."
Eif first made his way to the forested realm of Brocaede, the faerie land to partake of their famous brandy. He commented on it being fruity and sweet, something a lady would like to drink. He had to leave a few weeks after arriving, he never really explained, other than to say it was a somewhat inappropriate relationship with a water faerie. Well he thought the girl was a water faerie, for, her hair according to Eif was always wet.
Eif then passed through the domain of the Elven Prince. He sampled some of their wines but found them to be rather bland. What did one expect from a region called Military District One. He felt especially bad for the prince's daughters. Eif mentioned that they "...are locked up tighter than a virgin's chastity belt in a nunnery..."
EIf then found himself after making his through the wilder lands in the great city of Julianopolis, the capital of the Julian Protectorate. So very far from home. Eif loved it here, drinking their spiced beers and ales. Trying the distilled spirits of Norgovolgrad on their northern border. Eif was really happy here and might have stayed longer if it were not for hearing word of those Lashitan bastards trying to invade us.
When Eif returned he brought with him a wagon full of brewing equipment, ingredients along with bottles and casks of what he tried on his journey. As promised gave Bron a book of recipes and many of the bottles to sample. He then took his position as a Sargent in the militia along with dad. His men were over joyed at having kegs of beer from all over to drink. But alas none of this helped Eif. He took a spear through his gut and was impaled on some barn doors. They said that goblins then took his insides, tied them to a dog, lit the dog's tail on fire and watched the dog run off pulling Eif's guts out.
That is the sad end of my brother Bron's best customer Eif. Now if only Bron would hurry up and get rich like he always says he will so I can rob him blind. I'll teach that little punk a lesson, I'm a thief now thanks to one of those adventure's Bron has been hosting in the building dad gave him.
Children
Comments