The Naming of Mount Dau-Sajhrashi

Written by Barron

Have you looked at all the brochures about why the mountain is called Mount 'Your Mother' in Sazasharanare? I think it says something about it being 'what gave us here life' or some other kid-friendly bullshit. I mean that's true sure, but there's a deeper meaning. I'm feelin' drunk enough that I might let you in on the whole story.
 

Summary

Since the founding of Digger's Rock and Mount Dau-Sajhrashi, there have been theories about why Artosen Khandea II (Digger) named the mountain "Your Mother." Ordinary citizens and tourists are given their story on travel brochures and tourist agencies. Many travel agents plaster the story on their adventures boards.  
Mount Dau-Sajhrashi (translating to "Your Mother") is named for the care the mountain has given Digger's Rock and The Free Planet Federation as a whole. Many would say the FPF could not exist if it were not for this wonderous volcano and the gifts she brings. From exploring the wealth of her caves to the beauty of her slopes, there are many ways to enjoy this wondrous locale.
— Travel Brochure Excerpt
 

The Conspiracy

Many Locals spin bar stool tales to the tourists about the true nature of the name. Some say it was named after Artosen Khandea II (Digger)'s grandmother. Others say it was named after his love for the mountain, dubbing it 'the Mother' out of personal affection for its splendor.  

Truth of the matter is the name is probably the longest running joke I got now. You see I had this dude on my crew, Barnaby. I fuckin' hated Barnaby, a real schmooze you know? I had to drag his ass all the way up and down the mountain for a week. I was tired, I was pissed. I stopped the group at the base of the mountain. I said 'I know what we will name this massive mountain.'

They all looked at me with excitement, even ol' Barn has a smile on his stupid face. 'As this is the biggest mountain I've ever seen, I'm going to name it after the biggest woman I know, Barnaby's Mom.' I still remember watching his smile whip around into a scowl. The best.

  There are the rumors that the mountain was named as an elaborate joke in the vein of "Your Mother So Fat." Multiple sources discredit this rumor, and Artosen Khandea II (Digger) denies it in every interview that the topic comes up in.  

I remember I rode that joke the entire trip, even made it official with the name you hear today. I rode it for years, I even called him up the first time I went ash-boarding down the slopes. I called him up at the very bottom. 'Hey! Barnaby? It's Digger! I just finished taking a ride on your mom! She's a tough one!'

I didn't know it, but when I told him apparently his mom had been dead for a decade. Not that I felt bad, I simply shot back 'I know! You had to call me to dig a hole big enough to put her in!' I haven't been able to talk to him since.

  The conspiracy of the true meaning still continues to the present day, millenia after the mountains original founding. The Naming of Mount Dau-Sajhrashi still holds as one of Perduro's mysteries.  

So, there you go! You know the whole story. The Universe's largest 'Your Momma' Joke, I mean not as large as Barnaby's mom, but yeah you get it. Now have another damned drink, I gotta protect my little secret, so I'm gonna get you so wasted you'll forget all about it.


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Cover image: Hologram Wheel by Ademal

Comments

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3 Jul, 2018 06:31

My co-authors seem to be using #SummerCamp for every opportunity to make me giggly.   ...it's working. I loved this. Well done.

Admin of the World Anvil Codex & Discord | Director of Ethnis | My Ko-Fi | My Twitter
3 Jul, 2018 15:29

I highly enjoyed this as well!

Who the hell does this guy think he is?
PatheticBarrel, Logo by Sai
Forgemaster Dimitris
Dimitris Havlidis
3 Jul, 2018 07:40

That article is hilarious - #momjokes4ever

3 Jul, 2018 15:06

The *largest* your mom joke in the entire galaxy!

3 Jul, 2018 16:31

A majestic read that peaked my curiosity with steep lore. THIS is the pinnacle of Ethnis. It was certainly the climax of my evening. Well done.

3 Jul, 2018 16:35

Ethnis is a lesson in extremes. Extremely hilarious, extremely terrifying... This article is terrifying

3 Jul, 2018 16:58

I have to agree with DreamMaker on this one.

3 Jul, 2018 16:59

This is the biggest thing to happen since Barnaby's Mom.

3 Jul, 2018 17:04

This was excellent. I appreciate the chuckle, this is a new height for "your mom" jokes. I really like the use of quotes, too. It adds depth to the story very well. Good job.

3 Jul, 2018 17:42

A new 'height?' Thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed the read!

3 Jul, 2018 17:06

this is hilarious, i really love the little quotes in between the information!

3 Jul, 2018 17:56

I'm really glad you enjoyed it! The Narrative was tough to do so I'm glad you dug it.

3 Jul, 2018 17:16

Hahaha what a great story for the mountain. I like the way the real story was interwoven with the "We Just Don't Know" 'official' description.

3 Jul, 2018 17:57

Haha! I'm glad you caught that! And I'm glad you liked the article!

3 Jul, 2018 17:23

I am absolutely astounded. This is the most brilliant way of naming a mountain that I have heard of and I can definitely see a furious mountaineer doing it out of spite. Especially if they're a skier.

3 Jul, 2018 17:58

I'm glad you got a kick out of it! It doesn't help that Artosen is just a a bit of a rude dude!

3 Jul, 2018 19:13

It definitely seems that way!

James
James L
3 Jul, 2018 17:24

Oh, just brilliant! That had me chuckling all the way through.

3 Jul, 2018 18:04

Awesome! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

3 Jul, 2018 17:33

It's not often that I really smile when reading articles. Fantastic work!

3 Jul, 2018 18:05

That's a big compliment! Really thank you! Glad you enjoyed!

3 Jul, 2018 18:13

I already told you everything on discord ! You made me laugh in a waiting room, fantastic work Barron :]

3 Jul, 2018 18:19

Hah! Thank you so much! I'm really glad you got a laugh out loud moment out of it!

5 Jul, 2018 21:37

This changed my life. To think that I'd been missing out on the true potential of a 'your mom' joke since I was 12 has really shaken me to the core. I don't know what to do with myself. How am I supposed to top this? Barnaby's mom is just... too thicc for me. I'll ride her as long as you let me cry on the way down. Thanks!

5 Jul, 2018 22:24

You will have to be wearing full body armor, it is the only way to survive the ride.

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