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Eladrica

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So, here you are. Hmph. I was told to expect you, dear reader. I hate to ruin your fantasies, but if you thought you were going to gallivant around Eladrica all on your own and find your way back relatively uneviscerated, well, I pity your mother for tolerating such an ignorant and foolish child. My name is Pelusio. Pelusio Antonicus Wickerstop Spuzzwadi Boddleknocker "the Upstaged", in fact; but Pelusio will be fine. I will accompany you on your journey because, contrary to what you might think, you have absolutely no idea what to expect! Think of me as your cantankerous tour guide. I own a theatre in Apothica City, but we'll get to that later. You really should stop by, though. Every Tuesday I perform my famous one-gnome performance of Hibbsington's most famous philharmonic comedy 'Gnome In A Barrel'--all seventy-seven acts. Some say I typecast myself, and attribute my my indelible renown to my mere kinship with the protagonists, but that's pure pogwash, I tell you! But I digress. You've not come to sample my bountiful thespian innovation. You are here because your eye was stolen by a tiny glint far off in the cosmos. And once you reached out to that delicate glimmer, so faint among the others, you found your way to one of the universe's most peculiar treasures. You're here because you discovered Eladrica.