Short: Space Rocks
The sound of a portal cutting its way through space was not an unusual thing to hear in SHIELD Headquarters. Of course, it would be much preferred if Stephen Strange simply used the front door, but when one had access to an interdimensional backdoor, who would bother with proper entrances? That was, to Jane's mind the only explanation other than laziness. Even so, the sound of a portal opening in the corridor followed by Darcy yelling about Loki was a less common, but equally as plausible occurrence. Jane came into the corridor cautiously, looking down towards Darcy's office then back up towards the elevators. The portal was halfway between those points and Strange was partially out of it, holding up the god of mischief by his collar.
"What the hell?" Jane asked no one in particular as she tripped over herself to come level with Darcy, who seemed just as baffled.
"Wow..." Loki said placidly with a dazed look on his face, "Catch me dying in a ditch next Tuesday..."
Stephen Strange rolled his eyes and pushed the Asgardian towards the edge of the portal until he remembered how his legs worked. Jane's lips hadn't finished forming the first syllable of 'what the hell' again before his expression turned apologetic, "Space rocks."
Darcy made understanding noises and nudged herself under Loki's arm in some attempt to keep him upright. Jane stared in resignation, "I have a feeling I don't want to ask, but... space rocks?"
"It does, yes," Strange said dryly, "but that's not what we're talking about here."
Darcy intercepted the question before the Sorcerer Supreme found himself punched back into whatever realm the portal was coming from. "It's a code we came up with the last time someone found a stoned alien."
Jane eyed Loki sideways. He was leaning against the wall now and Darcy's shoulder was probably the only reason he hadn't fallen on his face yet. Speaking of his face, his eyes were dark and sunken. "So he's high?"
Stephen made uncertain noises, "More like... coming down? Apparently he'd been in this... intergalactic opium den for about a week."
Jane held her head in her hands, "What on earth has he been taking?"
Stephen stepped out of the portal and took over from Darcy, whose knees were starting to bow under Loki's weight. Jane still couldn't quite believe that he apparently weighed over seven hundred pounds. "I don't know, alien narcotics aren't my specialty Doctor Foster. What I do know is that the hangover is going to be killer, my head was starting to spin with just him breathing on me."
Darcy paused in rubbing the life back into her shoulder, "Wait, what were you doing in an alien opium den?"
"Oh," Strange flexed his fingers to stop his sling ring from falling off, "someone or something broke into the Hong Kong sanctum a few weeks ago and stole some texts. I managed to track the tears they made in getting there, and I've been on their trail. Apparently they were at said alien opium den, and that's where I found this idiot."
Jane and Darcy looked at each other. "And you didn't tell SHIELD about this? The last time someone broke into one of your places and stole some texts the world almost got eaten by an extradimensional demon."
"Oh, don't be dramatic Jane. The texts were basically 'Sorcery for Absolute Morons' volumes two and three."
Darcy put up her hand, "Two and three?"
"Yes," Stephen elbowed Loki in the ribs to rouse him back into semi-consciousness. "Beginner's manuals, someone out there is trying to get into the mystic arts. I just hope they remember to return their library books." He made an infuriating face that meant that despite his tone of voice he was trying to be funny.
Jane was most certainly not amused, "I thought Director Fury made it very clear that if anyone ever stole anything from you we were to know about it."
"I did tell him about it. He didn't think someone stealing some of the first books a student gets hold of - that we have literally hundreds of - was much of a problem."
"Well you didn't file a report, did you?"
"Director Fury didn't think I needed to, but he did write it down." He made the face again, before looking at Loki, "you can contact his brother right? No one else seems to have his number."
Darcy gave a wan smile, "That's because no one else had my old number."
"You want me to call Thor and ask him to come and get his little brother."
"Yes please, Doctor Foster."
Jane stared at her phone before finally deciding to tap the contact and wait for a response. An old picture of Darcy and Thor appeared as the number dialed. Unfortunately, Thor was extremely good at responding to phone calls.
"Hello Jane."
She took a breath before speaking, "Uh... Hey, Thor... Have you been looking for Loki lately?"
"Not particularly," Jane held her phone away from her ear to avoid being deafened by Asgardian grandeur. "Should I have?"
"Uh... " She reorganised her pencils, "Well considering Stephen Strange found him in an 'alien opium den' this morning..."
She heard Thor sigh, "Mother is actually going to kill him... Where is he now?"
"He's on the couch in Darcy's office, where every supernaturally unconscious person ends up apparently."
The noise Thor made could only be described as a verbal eye roll, "I will be there as soon as I can. It will have to be while Sif is in the Observatory. Mother currently has Heimdall reporting my every move."
"...Thor what did you do?"
"It was nothing! ...not that breaking part of Vanaheim is nothing, but it wasn't entirely my fault."
"How do you break part of a planet?"
"It was an accident! I will tell you about it when I get to you, it'll be some time tonight."
"Thor? Are you panicking?"
"What? No, just Father is looking at the pillar and is about to tell me that using my phone during court is 'unseemly' or whatever."
Jane suppressed her surprise at Thor using Darcy's phrasing, "...I'll see you later. Love you."
"I love you too, see you tonight."
Thor hung up, and Jane remained staring at her phone. She had just called the god of thunder and asked him to come and get his hungover little brother, and was still struggling to process such an action. There was a knock on her open door and Maria Hill leaned around the doorframe.
"Why is Loki passed out on Darcy's couch?"
Jane blanked on an explanation. "Uh... Space rocks...?"
"What the hell?" Jane asked no one in particular as she tripped over herself to come level with Darcy, who seemed just as baffled.
"Wow..." Loki said placidly with a dazed look on his face, "Catch me dying in a ditch next Tuesday..."
Stephen Strange rolled his eyes and pushed the Asgardian towards the edge of the portal until he remembered how his legs worked. Jane's lips hadn't finished forming the first syllable of 'what the hell' again before his expression turned apologetic, "Space rocks."
Darcy made understanding noises and nudged herself under Loki's arm in some attempt to keep him upright. Jane stared in resignation, "I have a feeling I don't want to ask, but... space rocks?"
"It does, yes," Strange said dryly, "but that's not what we're talking about here."
Darcy intercepted the question before the Sorcerer Supreme found himself punched back into whatever realm the portal was coming from. "It's a code we came up with the last time someone found a stoned alien."
Jane eyed Loki sideways. He was leaning against the wall now and Darcy's shoulder was probably the only reason he hadn't fallen on his face yet. Speaking of his face, his eyes were dark and sunken. "So he's high?"
Stephen made uncertain noises, "More like... coming down? Apparently he'd been in this... intergalactic opium den for about a week."
Jane held her head in her hands, "What on earth has he been taking?"
Stephen stepped out of the portal and took over from Darcy, whose knees were starting to bow under Loki's weight. Jane still couldn't quite believe that he apparently weighed over seven hundred pounds. "I don't know, alien narcotics aren't my specialty Doctor Foster. What I do know is that the hangover is going to be killer, my head was starting to spin with just him breathing on me."
Darcy paused in rubbing the life back into her shoulder, "Wait, what were you doing in an alien opium den?"
"Oh," Strange flexed his fingers to stop his sling ring from falling off, "someone or something broke into the Hong Kong sanctum a few weeks ago and stole some texts. I managed to track the tears they made in getting there, and I've been on their trail. Apparently they were at said alien opium den, and that's where I found this idiot."
Jane and Darcy looked at each other. "And you didn't tell SHIELD about this? The last time someone broke into one of your places and stole some texts the world almost got eaten by an extradimensional demon."
"Oh, don't be dramatic Jane. The texts were basically 'Sorcery for Absolute Morons' volumes two and three."
Darcy put up her hand, "Two and three?"
"Yes," Stephen elbowed Loki in the ribs to rouse him back into semi-consciousness. "Beginner's manuals, someone out there is trying to get into the mystic arts. I just hope they remember to return their library books." He made an infuriating face that meant that despite his tone of voice he was trying to be funny.
Jane was most certainly not amused, "I thought Director Fury made it very clear that if anyone ever stole anything from you we were to know about it."
"I did tell him about it. He didn't think someone stealing some of the first books a student gets hold of - that we have literally hundreds of - was much of a problem."
"Well you didn't file a report, did you?"
"Director Fury didn't think I needed to, but he did write it down." He made the face again, before looking at Loki, "you can contact his brother right? No one else seems to have his number."
Darcy gave a wan smile, "That's because no one else had my old number."
"You want me to call Thor and ask him to come and get his little brother."
"Yes please, Doctor Foster."
Jane stared at her phone before finally deciding to tap the contact and wait for a response. An old picture of Darcy and Thor appeared as the number dialed. Unfortunately, Thor was extremely good at responding to phone calls.
"Hello Jane."
She took a breath before speaking, "Uh... Hey, Thor... Have you been looking for Loki lately?"
"Not particularly," Jane held her phone away from her ear to avoid being deafened by Asgardian grandeur. "Should I have?"
"Uh... " She reorganised her pencils, "Well considering Stephen Strange found him in an 'alien opium den' this morning..."
She heard Thor sigh, "Mother is actually going to kill him... Where is he now?"
"He's on the couch in Darcy's office, where every supernaturally unconscious person ends up apparently."
The noise Thor made could only be described as a verbal eye roll, "I will be there as soon as I can. It will have to be while Sif is in the Observatory. Mother currently has Heimdall reporting my every move."
"...Thor what did you do?"
"It was nothing! ...not that breaking part of Vanaheim is nothing, but it wasn't entirely my fault."
"How do you break part of a planet?"
"It was an accident! I will tell you about it when I get to you, it'll be some time tonight."
"Thor? Are you panicking?"
"What? No, just Father is looking at the pillar and is about to tell me that using my phone during court is 'unseemly' or whatever."
Jane suppressed her surprise at Thor using Darcy's phrasing, "...I'll see you later. Love you."
"I love you too, see you tonight."
Thor hung up, and Jane remained staring at her phone. She had just called the god of thunder and asked him to come and get his hungover little brother, and was still struggling to process such an action. There was a knock on her open door and Maria Hill leaned around the doorframe.
"Why is Loki passed out on Darcy's couch?"
Jane blanked on an explanation. "Uh... Space rocks...?"
Timeframe & Context: Sometime between 2013 and 2019. Likely before Loki's 2014 'death' and resurrection.
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