Marriage
Overview
Marriage in Dosjorya is a very exciting and solemn process and varies little across the land. Rarely do couples hastily decide on marriage, or “sharing one’s name” as it is often called. As a result, to marry someone is the ultimate form of devotion and the couple requires no other affirmation to prove they are truly joined in love.From Lovers to Spouses
While courtship norms and rules differ by region, settlement, and circumstance, couples nearly always go through a courtship period lasting more than a few months before the proposal occurs. In rare cases do a couple decide on marriage in a shorter amount of time, but when this is the case, few believe such unions are meant to last. The courtship period that a couple goes through does not have to be one where both are instantly in love and are constantly contemplating whether or not marriage is in their future; the couple may just be close friends who spend great amounts of time together and later realize that they really are in love. It is a universal custom for the man to propose, though typically the woman may encourage the man or tell him her desire for marriage prior to the proposal. While men are the ones who propose and offer their family name to their future wife, there is no rule against the woman proposing and asking for their future husband’s name. Female proposals are most often seen among couples where the man has endured some sort of shame or punishment in his life. The grassland villages between the Great Achton River and the Scatlin River are the most common places where this may be the case. A remnant from their ancestors across the ocean, Dosjoryans place great weight on their family names. As such, the process of a man giving a woman his name, and the woman accepting it, is a deep show of love and trust. The meaning is that the man views the woman as important and dear enough to join the family of his birth, and that the woman sees the man as devoted and trustworthy enough that she can comfortably distance herself from her family to join his. Women keep their birth family name and use both names when identifying themselves. The ritual where the man shares his name happens behind closed doors in small buildings or huts. The only ones present are the couple and the person overseeing the transfer of the name, nearly always a recordkeeper for that settlement. Among the common folk and especially among the poor, this is as far as the process goes, and. Upon leaving the marriage house, they begin life as a joined couple and return to life as normal. Those who desire it, and can afford it, may invite close family and friends afterwards for a gathering in celebration, or they might purchase gifts for their new spouse. Old records dating from Dosjorya’s founding state other rituals that their ancestors from across the ocean held during or immediately after marriage. Many believe that the early war years and the brief period immediately after where polygyny was allowed and encouraged, caused a decline in practices such as the use of jewelry to denote one’s marital status or ornate ceremonies where the couple is joined as one.Rules of Marriage
Both the man and the woman may seek divorce if an independent party of influence determines a break in the marriage is needed. Those who may make this determination include a leader, recordkeeper, Anda Innen, military captain or commander, or other well respected man in the settlement, so long as the person making the determination has no ties with the couple. Reasons could vary from the couple simply falling out of love to abuse, and in between such as infidelity. Possessions normally go to their owners from before the marriage, and as for possessions gained after marriage, the determiner will assign the new owner and make this determination based on source. For example, inherited items go to the person who stood to inherit it, land goes to the person who performs the most maintenance (monetary or otherwise), and children normally follow the woman unless the is determined to be a detriment to them. Except for the early years after the war against the Gendirlo, marriage is only legal between two people, almost universally between a man and a woman. Same sex couples are not forbidden, but are typically frowned upon by most. Such couples are able to officially marry like any others but those around them may react negatively. The places where same sex marriage is more accepted tend to be those areas with poorer populations, perhaps as a way to love someone and not have a risk of bringing into the world children that the couple has little means to support. Long ago, polygyny was allowed and encouraged due to so many men having been killed in the war soon after discovering the land, but as the population began to recover and other problems occurred due to the practice, all types of polygamy were banned. There is no agreed upon age limit for marriage in Dosjorya, though no settlement allows anyone under the age of fifteen to marry. A child is considered an adult at the age of sixteen and as such, many parents will discourage their children from seeking a marriage, or agreeing to a marriage with an older person, until that age. However, the weight of the decision and the deep rooted hesitancy to commit to the sharing of the name means that in most unions, at least one person is over the age of eighteen. A handful of places dictate an age minimum of nineteen. Arranged marriages do exist, though they are rare outside of the mountain regions and their prevalence there has gradually decreased in recent centuries. Young women are the most likely to not have a choice in a spouse in these cases, being considered more as objects in gaining power or wealth for their family than as humans in search of a soulmate. Young men, however, are not exempt from the process either. The practice of arranged marriages has risen and fallen multiple times through history, though records indicate that it is perhaps in its final decline and will disappear from Dosjorya entirely. The influence of individual families and those with wealth has waned alongside this decline, possibly the cause of the growing disinterest. Whether or not rules will be made to forbid it are not known. Marriages between two people of the same family are strictly forbidden with no exceptions. If two people who are courting or have already been married determine that they share a common ancestor within six generations, they must immediately separate or divorce. Because women bear both their birth family name and married family name, it is almost impossible for them to hide the fact that they are married to a close relative and thus they tend to suffer harsher punishments if caught, even though laws state that the punishment should be doled out equally. Only in the more common cases of unknown relations, where the degree of separation is larger, to both people in the marriage receive the same punishment, banishment to opposite sides of the land or death.Special Considerations
Those who serve Dosjorya in any capacity, whether as a conjurer, an Innen, or in the military, must place their duty above their family. As a result, if one is unmarried when joining an organization, they nearly always remain so until their service ends or they are retired from active duty. However, if one serves while already married, tine away from their spouse likely will strain their relationship, and sometimes these people are given special considerations by their aligned organization. If the person does not serve in the military and their duty does not involve travel, they are more likely to pursue marriage when they are ready rather than when their period of duty is complete. Those who serve in the military are forbidden to seek marriage of they are in their first year of duty, and strongly discouraged from marriage if they choose to serve for a longer time, or receive a promotion.Brief allowance of Polygyny
When humans first arrived in Dosjorya and subsequently battled against the Gendirlo, they found themselves poorly situated and ill-prepared to make a lasting nation. While many craftspeople survived and kept alive the skills necessary in building new settlements and a new civilization, many more of the survivors were women. While women were plenty capable with most of the tasks ahead, most were not acclimatized to the amount of hard labor that was needed. Another problem was that leaders knew that with the population makeup being what it was, their numbers would not be able to increase, and numbers would be needed to ensure the Dosjoryan colony would not die out. A woman cannot produce a child on her own, and in addition, many of the remaining men were old and already married, or too young to seek a spouse. To solve these problems, leaders proposed relaxing some marriage restrictions to allow men to marry multiple women and for young men to marry. Most were revulsed by the ideas initially, but with the war still in the forefront of their minds and the fear of being wiped out being so strong, people agreed to it. While polygyny and child marriages became legal for this time, there were still some restrictions. Men could only marry another woman if he could support her and any children she bore. Male children were allowed to marry adult women if he was over the age of thirteen, but either the woman he married or his parents must support him, and male children were barred from having multiple wives until they turned sixteen and became adults. In all cases, men were encouraged to have many children with their wives. If a woman could not become pregnant within five years, a man was encouraged to divorce with her to direct resources towards someone else. However, this led to many problems that lasted through the forty seven years polygyny was legal and for several generations after. Because the rule against marrying a close relation remained strictly enforced, the process of finding a legal suitor became difficult. So many people shared fathers, grandfathers, and great-grandfathers after a time that young men and women resorted to traveling far or abandoning their family for a labor job or apprenticeship while young so that they had a chance of changing their family identity. The number of known family names exploded during this time and is the reason modern Dosjoryans come from countless different families despite the fact that everyone is distantly related to each other. The end of polygyny came about, not because of the cries of the common folk for help, but because of two rather powerful and affluent brothers who used their wealth acquired from across the ocean, as well as their high standing as building engineers, to marry dozens of women, especially widowed women and debt-slaves. Darhlan and Corpar Sorbaro held more wives each than anyone else, and took the suggestion to have many children to heart. No one knows exactly how many wives each brother had, nor the amount of children they fathered, though the only records of the time that remain, of unknown accuracy, state that after three generations, around half of all Dosjoryans were related in some way to the Sorbaro family. Leaders had no choice but to end the practice once it was known how bad of a problem Dosjorya was facing.Remove these ads. Join the Worldbuilders Guild
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