Des Baton-Hommes

My dad took pride in his writing, but he couldn't draw for shit. That didn't stop him from trying. His journals had a bunch of stick figures drawn in the margins. Silly little things, but they got the job done.

— Captain Gregory Lambert

Seven elite soldiers are thrown together into a penal unit and sent on a dangerous mission in an attempt to clear their names. They will soon discover a world full of magic forgotten by their people. Join them on their adventure as they face down villains of all shapes and sizes alongside a colourful cast of allies. This is the tale of Theta-Basterd-7.  

1st Lieutenant Samuel Lambert, Charismatic leader and hamburger connoisseur.

Captain Ricardo 'Sarge' Glob, Definitely not an NCO. The actual ranking officer.

Captain Daniel 'Angel' Helion, Pioneer in the field of tactical combat casualty care. And killing.

Staff Sergeant Alexei 'Static' Jetter, Radioman and resident tall person.

Staff Sergeant Malcolm 'Scope' Peterson, Lethal out to one and a half klicks.

1st Lieutenant Genevre 'Bug Eye' Jones, Short and carries multiple knives.

Sergeant First Class Henry 'Mineman' Chuluun, Explosive problem solver.  

War Never Changes (Except on Taco Tuesdays)

  The Urssal Republic and the Pearl Kingdom are at war. Territorial skirmished throughout the islands lining the equator escalated into a full-blown conflict. The war has been raging for five years by the time the seven members of Theta-Bastard-7 were thrown together. Neither side seems to have an advantage. The sheer numbers of the Urssal military ensures they can hold the lands they've taken, but the swift and precise strikes of the Pearl Kingdom's warriors make each advance a costly one. Theta-Basterd-7 eventually discovers a third-party plot that has serious implications for both sides of the war...  

Full Metal Jacket Fairy Tale

  Despite the war and violence in the world, there is still magic and wonder to be found. Of course, seventy percent of this magic and wonder is as lethal as a machinegun burst. Primordial energies circulate the planet and occasionally manifest as spirits. A small number of adventurous and inquisitive individuals are able to tap into these veins of energy and harness magic for themselves. Fewer still are able to sample the mysterious dark energy that spills from the eastern hemisphere. Because of their Urssal upbringing, the members of Theta-Basterd-7 are ignorant of the magic surrounding them. They are quick to pick up on it once it starts trying to kill them.