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Timebraided Tuxedo v2

A TimeBraid Masterpiece

Written by TheAngelicDevil

“Timebraided Tuxedo,” you say aloud, your voice nearly drowning in the sea of idle talk around you. You half expected the flyer to be a phony, something there to get a kick out of you. However, your eyes soon become glossed and an unfamiliar voice and image appear inside your head, startling you for only a second before you remember what you signed up for.
  Thank you for requesting more information about TimeBraid’s latest technology, the Timebraided Tuxedo v2, where “anything is possible!” My name is Kyle Ondraki, and I will be showing you this fabulous tuxedo today! Make sure you stick to the end to receive a special prize, courtesy of TimeBraid Industries! Before I begin, I must warn you; this mental projection spell can cause minor headaches and dizziness. At any point in my presentation, utter the words, “I do not wish to learn more,” and the connection will be severed. Without further ado, let's begin!  
You sit on a disgusting, gum-covered, and dirty bench that rests against a jaded brick wall, waiting with a slight eagerness, like a child who awoke on Christmas day. “I wonder what this gift will be,” you think to yourself, as you wait for Kyle to begin his presentation.

  Alright! Allow me to tell you about all the new features included in this beautiful piece of clothing! Ok, alright, so, over the past five years, TimeBraid Industries have been on the bleeding edge of VisiTech, manifesting reality and time into actual objects we can interact with! Pretty cool, huh? I think so, which leads me to my next point. With this manifesting time and reality, we created many interesting things such as the RealiWipe, StingingTime Cookies, and the first-ever Spellshield Tattoo! But our masterpiece was, and still is, our amazing line of Timebraided Tuxedos! Ok, how did we use VisiTech you ask? Well, the answer is actually quite simple, we threaded reality and time together to create fabric, which we then formed tuxedos! See? Simple!  
“This guy is annoying,” you mutter, causing a few people around you to stare, “is the entire presentation going to be like this?” Kyle remains silent and unmoving within your mind’s eye as if he was waiting for you to finish your outburst.
  Sorry, I got a little off-topic there. I was about to discuss the many new and improved features the v2 can offer you! Well, uh, we started off by upgrading our Reality Sinks! Any aspect of reality can be changed within a fifteen-meter radius! Forget about waiting in line for a nice cup of coffee, instead materialize one out of thin air! Forget your umbrella on a rainy day? Make it so that it isn't raining within your little bubble of changeable reality! Stay tuned for a demonstration, coming soon! Your surprise is also nearing, valued customer!  
“Valued customer?” you ask yourself. “I've never shopped at a place called TimeBraid Industries, and I surely wouldn't be a valued customer even if I did buy something there.” You assure yourself that Kyle is incorrect.
  Time Durability! Yeah! Scientists from our R&D division have come up with a way to extend the lifespan of the fabric! Awesome, right?! What does this mean? I’ll tell ya! This means that the v2 can last in this dimension for fifty years! Isn't that incredible?! Now you can pass this tuxedo on to your kids, and even their kids can have the tuxedo, without paying for another one! Wow, truly the Timebraided Tuxedo gives you the bang for your buck, am I right?  
“Passing an old tuxedo from father to son to grandson. Huh, to think this ad couldn't get any weirder. Wouldn't it be destroyed by now? Magic mishaps happen all the time,” you tell yourself. Suddenly you stand up, swearing loudly. You could have sworn you saw Kyle glare at you and flip you off, but when your mind’s eye looks again, he is still smiling.
  How about upgraded Spellshields, you ask? Perfect timing, because that’s my next section! Nine Spellshields have been woven into the tuxedo, that'll make sure you aren't hurt by the magic of any kind, mental, physical, or other! You don't have to be an extremely powerful magician or politician to receive professional protection anymore! Hiring a full-time bodyguard is far more expensive than this tuxedo! And less flashy! We will show you a demonstration of this function in a little while, stay tuned, I know you’ll love your special gift!  
“I’m starting to think this gift isn't real.” You chuckle to yourself, realizing you're wasting a few minutes of your precious time. “I should just stop listening to this and go home.” Suddenly, Kyle’s loud and obnoxious voice fills your head, somehow louder than before.
  Oh, dear customer, I have something incredible to show you! Look at this! This is the latest technology straight from our very own R&D division, the Infinity Bowtie! Wow, look at that tie move around! Truly a centerpiece to the Timebraid v2!  
“Okay, that is pretty cool actually. It's only an image but the colors are moving! But what can it do?” you ask aloud, suddenly well aware that there isn't anyone around you anymore.
  What can it do, you ask? Well dear customer, dare I say friend, looking at this beautiful bowtie for exactly nine seconds will transport you into an alternate dimension for 99,999 seconds! How cool is that!  
“Wait, what? How does he know my questions? This is a recording! And teleporting to an alternate dimension? Why? There is literally no reason for that!” You have begun to shout, there isn't anyone around you to tell you to be quiet. “That's it, I'm done! I do not wish to learn more!,” you exasperatedly tell yourself. Kyle suddenly frowns.
  Ah, I see, friend. You do not wish to learn any more information? Is it something I did wrong? Was I annoying, or do you need to get off that shitty bench and go home?  
“Uhhh what? How are you doing this? Get out of my head! I do not wish to learn more! I. Do. Not. Wish. To. Learn. More! Why aren't you leaving my head?” A rush of adrenaline hits your body. You have been talking to Kyle this entire time.
  Why don't I give you the gift anyway, “friend.” I know you’ll love it. Your prize for participating is an exclusive look at our technology, you can’t take your eyes off it! You will get what you deserve, as I promised!  
“No! I don't want any gift. Not from you, now go away! Screw you man, you can’t do this!” you shout. Kyle flips you off again before starting to pack his things.
  Oh, ok. I see how it is. Screw you too, pal. I spent hours preparing for that speech. I hope you die over there.  
Suddenly, an image of the bowtie appears within your head. You scream and drop to your knees and beg Kyle to stop, but he doesn't. You try to look away, but your mind’s eye cannot blink. You begin to count aloud; 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… 9. Suddenly you feel a large amount of pressure on your face and lungs before you find yourself in an unfamiliar place, however, you know exactly where you are. Kyle’s voice appears in your head again, startling you.
  So you find yourself in the Non, what do you do? Well, I’m no survival expert, but I’d get out of the way of any creature that passes by. Alternate dimensions usually have different rules, so try not to touch, eat, or drink anything. 99,999 seconds isn't too long!  
You ignore what Kyle said and walk along a beaten path in the middle of the forest you transported to. To your surprise, you see a sign that reads, ‘You will die here.’ “That’s comforting,” you say to yourself. You start to notice odd things around the forest you are walking in. There are no animals of any kind yet you hear a plethora of creature’s calls you haven’t heard before. The forest doesn't look right, things change and shift on their own, as if someone from the outside is twisting and pulling on the trees and forest floor. Kyle once again appears inside your head.

  And now for a review of our product! Jaden, 39, from Sidewinder Street, Aldrinore, says: “5 stars! Robbing banks and stores has never been easier! Thanks to TimeBraid Industries for making an incredible product! 10/10, will buy again!” Skai, 17, from Wynsveil says: “The Church of Himmelhart uses their supply of Timebraided Tuxedos in many ways. We will always be a supporter of this company. Love their products, and their team. 10/10, 5 stars.” Peter, 48, from Praesville says: “It makes my job as an executioner much easier, not to mention more enjoyable! Instead of bringing an axe upon criminals’ necks, I can teleport them to a realm of no return! 10/10!”  
As Kyle reads the testimonials, you are making your way to a large cliff that seems to go on forever. “How do I survive here without food or water?” you ask when suddenly you hear a loud screech from above.
  The beings that live within this dimension do not take kindly to visitors. If you hear one, it’s probably too late for you!  
It happened fast. The creature that made the sound you heard swooped down and latched onto your arm with its ever-shifting claws. You scream in agony as blood pours from your mortal wounds. Too much blood. As you lay there dying, looking at the ever-changing landscape before you, Kyle’s voice appears inside your head for the last time.

  Thank you for requesting more information on the Timebraided Tuxedo V2! My name is Kyle, and it was a pleasure to inform you about TimeBraid Industries! TimeBraidIndustriesIsNotResponsibleForLossOfBodyPartsEyesExtremitiesorAnyOtherPartOfTheIndividualInQuestion. TimeBraidIndustriesIsAlsoNotResposibleForAnyPhysicalMentalOrOtherDamagesOccuredFromAnyOfOurProducts. ThisAlsoGoesForAnyPersonOrPersonsAffectedByTheBowtieOrTimebraidedTuxedo’sRealityAlteringEffects. PleaseSeekAHealerOrAnExorcistIfYouExperienceAnyOfTheFollowing:LossOfMotorFunctionLossOfHearingOrSightLossOfLimbsOrOtherExtremities.
Item type
Clothing / Accessory
Current Location
Base Price
15,000 Gold, or 3 Myathron infused Gold Coins

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Author's Notes

This was my Clothing Competition Challenge submission! I hope you enjoyed reading it, more images will be added later on!

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2 Jun, 2021 00:35

I enjoyed this submission thoroughly. :) <- Me while reading this story

2 Jun, 2021 00:39


Eternal Sage AmélieIS
Amélie I. S. Debruyne
2 Jun, 2021 07:27

Great article! I love how you've presented that in the form of a story, that was fun to read :D I like how Kyle becomes more and more annoyed until he just get rid of the customer, and then how he goes on to read all the amazing reviews the tuxedo has gotten :D I imagine no dissatisfied customers have ever survived long enough to give a bad review :p   A few remarks:   You have an "aloud" that is misspelt and that messed up your formatting.   "You ignore what Kyle said and walk along the beaten path that you transported to. " Here I would add immediately that the path is in the middle of a forest to make that clear from the start of that section.   To make the last few lines easier to read, you could try to capitalise the first letter of every word, as right now it's really a struggle even if I understand what you're trying to do: "TimeBraidIndustriesIsNotResponsibleForLossOfBodyParts" something like that.

To see what I am up to, see the list of my Summer Camp articles—my favourite is Sentient Cells.
2 Jun, 2021 18:59

Thank you for the feedback Amelie! I fixed the few issues you mentioned, and my article looks a lot better now! :D

2 Jun, 2021 13:49

The story format is so much fun, and I love the design of the poster! Great work :D

In Gormhan, an ancient magic-using nobility clings to its power in a high-tech 1950s-inspired world. There are dragons too!
2 Jun, 2021 18:27

Thank you! I appreciate the feedback!

2 Jun, 2021 19:20

Very fun to read article and a great way to start it with that nice poster! I like how the agitation grows more and more and in the end Kyle returns the 'screw you' :p Does really sound like the dangerous item.   The last part of the presentation must have really sucked to hear while dying xp

Feel free to check out my River challenge article and my Secrets in the swamp Adventure article if you want to see what I am up to!
2 Jun, 2021 19:29

Thank you! I try to do something different for my challenge articles, and I'm glad people are liking it!

3 Jun, 2021 09:31

The way this is formatted is really interesting, I think its a really nice way to give the information about the outfit and has a lot of personality to it!! Kyle's sass is really funny to read, and even a little menacing near the end.   I'm quite curious about the actual world- from what I understand there is magic, and its some kind of dystopia-ish setting? I have a hard time evaluating what exactly kind of setting it is, though the art does help. This can probably be better addressed with a theme and some pictures (and also is more formatting than like writing), but I would say maybe take the time to set the scene a little more. Why are we in a shitty street, where do we find the flyer? Is it on the floor, does someone give it to us? You can also use this to give more context on the company itself- "huh, a strange flyer from a company I've never heard of. weird."   As is, I have a lot of questions about the item- who makes it, why sell it, why is You being sent to a random realm, who buys this- I feel like a good deal of these questions don't have an answer, and its likely meant to be more of an absurd situation, but I think you could probably force the trait a little more- have the character be more confused, or maybe realise earlier on that he can't really stop? your call on that really   Another comment- I think the text would look nicer is you used "quote" instead of "aloud", and if Kyle's section was put in quotes instead of the narrators. I also think the story would work better with a first or third person pov rather than you addressing the reader, which is always a little awkward to read in my opinion.   Hope the feedback helps! And dont forget this is all my personal opinion ^^ and once again, dope work!

Author of Arda Almayed - check out my SummerCamp articles here!
3 Jun, 2021 18:13

thank you for the feedback! I'll try to incorporate a few of your points into the article when I have time!

3 Jun, 2021 18:46

I love the way this article is written, with the whole thing being presented by Kyle, while “we” are led through the story. It really helped hook me into it, which I’m glad it did because this is such a unique and interesting outfit! It can do so many cool things, and it lasts 50 years! I don’t exactly know how long normal fabric lasts, but I’m sure it’s not that long! Really great article!

Come and take a look around my world, Totania!
3 Jun, 2021 22:00

Thank you! I'm glad people are liking the story format!

8 Jun, 2021 13:37

I absolutely love this article. Not only the object but just the classic advertising feel of it. I want ten, no twenty of these things and I don't care for the - I slightly care for- I am deeply worried about the consquences that could happen but also, TIMEBRAIDED TUXEDO! Great Article!

Please check out my article for the Tavern Challenge! The Black Haired Dog!
8 Jun, 2021 17:34

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed my article!